Memories...

As Max starts learning to make new sounds (current favs being GA and BA), in the corners of my mind I am remembering some of Ella's early words. One of her very first words, along with mama, dada, and gram, was fluer (flower but she really pronounced it like fluer - Fluuuuu-er).

And for Butterfly, she would say Flutterby. I thought that made a lot of sense.

The St. John Master Plan is in Place

This is Ram's Head, St. John. After 3 trips, I have still not seen this. Why? Because it requires hiking! I have done my research and found that this hike is relatively flat, 2.5 miles roundtrip and though quite exposed and HOT, it is entirely doable early in the morning.

This is no joke people. 3 weeks from today I will be tucked into bed at the Ritz Carlton St. Thomas, restlessly waiting for dawn so that I can head to St. John! We originally were doing our regular traveldayofhell through St. Thomas, onto the Ferry, and over to St. John all in one day. But, Delta decided to cancel Thursday flights. So, it was either lose a day of the house we'd already rented, or go a day early and find another place to stay.

Still our Wednesday will start at 4am with a flight out of Dulles at 6. We have a LONG layover in Atlanta, better than a short layover, trust me. Arrive on STT at a little before 3pm. Then we will enjoy 9 full days of bliss.

My awesome friend, Mari & her cool hubby, Jim will be joining us for the week. And my mom is going. And our regular babysitter is joining us for 5 days. I am obsessed and I can't wait!

I have already shipped a box of baby paraphenelia - formula, diapers, swim diapers, baby food, sunscreen, bugspray, etc. $28. Probably the best $28 I have spent for this trip. The packing has begun. There are 4 piles on the guest bed, one for me, one for hubby, one for ella, and one for max. Make that 5. There is also the carry-on pile that will go into the carry-on bag with supplies for our first night on St. Thomas (a swimsuit and 1 change of clothes for all + toiletries) so that we won't have to open the rest of the bags until we hit St. John.

So for the plan, yes it is down to the hour:
______________________________________
Wednesday, November 14
6:10am Delta to STT via Atlanta
3 pm Arrive STT & grab a taxi to Ritz Carlton
4 pm Check-in & Relax by the pool
8 pm Hung & Amy Dinner at Bleuwater Restaurant
__________________________________________
Thursday, November 15
Morning Breakfast & Pool at the Ritz
11 am Call Destination St. John & Check-out of Ritz
11:15 am Meet Dohm’s Water Taxi to STJ at National Park Ferry Dock Red Hook
12 pm Pick up car at Conrad Sutton’s & head to house
Afternoon Lunch, Relax, & Groceries
2:35 Mari & Jim arrive STT
4pm Meeting Mari & Jim at Cruz Bay dock to lead them to the house
Evening Dinner
__________________________________________
Friday, November 16
Morning Breakfast @ Mosquito Bites (Coral Bay)
10-2 Cultural Demo at Annaberg/Francis Beach
Lunch SKINNY LEGS!! Vie’s for Tarts
Afternoon POOL
3:35 pm Johanna Arrives STT
5 pm Meet Johanna at the Ferry
Evening Dinner out Kid-Friendly
__________________________________________
Saturday, November 17
Early Morning Salt Pond/Hike Ram’s Head
11am Amy/Mari Nomadic Spa
Afternoon POOL
7:30-8:30 Skywatch @ Cinnamon Bay
8pm Dinner @ Rhumbline’s or Sweet Plantains
__________________________________________
Sunday, November 18
Morning Beach or Tortola BVI Ferry
Lunch Island Blues
4-7:30pm Sunday Jazz @ the Beach Bar/Forum Happy Hour
Evening Dinner out with Everyone! Or Dinner at the House
__________________________________________
Monday, November 19
Morning Morning Dinghy Rental from Noah’s Arks go to Waterlemon
Afternoon POOOOLLLLL
8pm Evening Dinner at Zozo’s
__________________________________________
Tuesday, November 20
8:30a-12:30p ½ Day Sail – Bread on the Water
Afternoon POOL
Evening Johanna’s Goodbye Dinner Pastory Gardens
__________________________________________
Wednesday, November 21
9 am Pick up lunch from Deli Grotto
9:30a-11a Waters Edge Walk Location: Annaberg Parking Lot
11 on Beach
2 pm Put Johanna on the Ferry to STT
5:15 pm Johanna departs St. Thomas
Evening Hung Night Dive Caneel Bay Dock
__________________________________________
Thursday, November 22 Gram’s Birthday!!!
Morning Beach or Tortola BVI Ferry
Afternoon Beach/Pool
6:30pm Thanksgiving Feast @ Banana Deck
__________________________________________
Friday, November 23
10 am Check-out of the house
11 am Return Cars, Lunch @ JJ’s, Shop around Cruz Bay
12:30 pm Meet Water Taxi @ the Ferry dock ... BYE St. John
3:35 pm Amy, Hung, Ella, Max & Gram

More than 2...

Before I had two children, I NEVER could understand why anyone would have more than 2 children. I am starting to get it. NO, I am not having anymore. I have been cut off by my friends, my ob, my husband & myself. It is not so much that I wouldn't want the kids, its just that NONE of us can handle the pregnancies.

So, back to my point. I get it now though. Max seems (SEEMS!) so much easier than Ella did. Of course, it is not necessarily that he is. Its just different with the 2nd one. I am not nearly as stressed and I think that is translating to him not being stressed.

I think with the first one you worry ALL THE TIME. With the 2nd one, you've been there and done that and so you actually can relax and enjoy the process a little bit more.

To reiterate. I am DONE. Finished. FINITO. CUT OFF. BUT, I get it now. Well other than the financial part. And the lack of sleep.

THINGS I MISS FROM MY PRE-MOM LIFE:

- Sleeping in - this BY FAR is #1
- Being able to be sick in bed when I felt like being sick in bed
- Travel at the drop of a hat with no preplanning involved
- Completed converstations

THINGS I WOULD NEVER TRADE:

- A smile from my boy
- A "Mom, I looooooooooove you" from my girl
- The look my husband and I share when we are watching our kids
- The way they smell, fresh out of the bath
- The warmth of their little sleeping bodies on my chest
- The sound of their voices
- Christmas Morning - no, not the presents, the excitement!
- Every single project that comes home from kindergarten. EVERY one.

Things to do in St. John

Well well well ... St. John is just a short 30 something days away! FINALLY.

Here is my recently compiled list of things to do. It may take me 10 trips to get it all done but this is a start. I don't even want to do some of the things on this list but I did want to keep track of all the possibilities!

Bold things I have done.
Bold italics things are things on the list for this trip.

TREATS

Cocoberry Shake from that place in Wharfside
Mojito from Joe's Rum Hut
Ice cream from I Scream
Colombo's
Any Smoothie from the smoothie truck
Garlic Chicken & Tarts @ Vie's
A hot dog at Beach Dawgs
Root Beer @ the Tap Room
Candy's Barbeque (some say its better than Uncle Joe's)
Uncle Joe's BBQ & ALL the sides to go back to the house
Baked in the Sun sandwiches
Steak Sandwich and Crab Wontons at the Beach Bar
Potato Salad at Starfish Market
Create a Beach smorgasboard at Deli Grotto
West Indian treats - Sogo's (across from Lime Inn)
Appetizers and drinks at Zozo's bar @ sunset
fresh greens from Josephine
freah tuna or mahi-mahi, either by the dock or at the Fish Trap Market
Orange cake at Mosqito Bites

RESTAURANTS

Rhumblines
Donkey Diner especially breakfast
ZoZo's
Inn at Taramind Court esp breakfast
Sweet Plantains
Miss Lucy's
La Tapa
Maho Bay - esp breakfast
Island Blues - esp that drink w/ nutmeg
Aqua Bistro
Cafe Roma
JJs Texas Coast - esp breakfast
Pastory Gardens
Skinny Legs
Shipwreck Landing Restaurant
Asolare Sunset dinner
Happy Fish - sushi
Mosquito Bites - full breakfast & the orange cake!

BARS

Woody's
Beach Bar
Go to the Tap Room for a VI Pale Ale (Free WIFI)
Sputnik
Quiet Mon
Front Yard
Gecko Bar
Compass Rose (Free WIFI)

BEACHES/SNORKELING

Salt Pond
Vie's Beach
Hawsknest
Maho - kiddie friendly
Gibney
Francis Bay
Caneel Bay
North side of Haulover, Pelican Rock and Paradise Point
Drunk Bay
Honeymoon beach
Night snorkeling
Lime Tree Beach
Snorkel at Turtle Beach at Caneel Bay
Snorkel Chocolate Hole
Denis Bay
Jumbie
Trunk Bay
Cinnamon Bay
Honeymoon

HIKES

Hiking Reef Bay *maybe (stand on Reef Bay and look back up the hillside, you are getting the same view that has existed since the island was formed)
Waterlemon - hike and snorkel
Brown Bay hike and beach
Ram Head Trail
Solomon & Honeymoon Beach hike
hike to Drunk Bay & Blue Cobblestone Beach from Salt Pond

EVENTS/SPECIALS

Sunday Jazz @ Beach Bar
Pastory @ sunset Happy Hour 3-6. Drinks $1.00 off
$3 painkillers at Beach Bar on Sunday afternoon
Arrange a Forum Happy Hour w Pia & Ruth
Morgan's Mango Mango Margaritas and Tuesday Lobster Night
Full Moon Party @ Miss Lucy's

ON ST JOHN

Rent a dinghy
Cook more at the Villa
Watch the sunset from the Villa
Drink in the pool
Sunset Sail
Go to the other side of the island (Coral Bay).
Learn to dive...
kayak to Hurricane Hole from Crabby's
learn to sail this 35' Du Four sloop called Gypsy Spirit around the island
Visit the Animal Shelter
Kristen Maize showing at the Michael Banzhaf Gallery
Nightdive
Book a massage & Scrub with Nomadic Spa
Play mini golf at Pastory Gardens

OFF ST JOHN EXCURSIONS

Rent power boat for BVIs - Ocean Runner
Jost Van Dyke in power boat from OR w/captain
Virgin Gorda
Day Sail to the BVIs
Ferry to Tortola
Ferry to Jost

SHOPPING

St. John Spice - Say Hi to Ruth!
Mongoose Junction
Pink Papaya
Jolly Dog & Skinnys
Freebird
The Body Deli

What about your dad, mom?

This is a question I am getting more and more often from Ella lately. I resist the temptation to lie and say he's dead. That's not fair to her. I also resist the temptation to tell her the whole truth and risk scaring her. So, I just say that he's alive, but that I don't know him at all. That he chose to not be a part of my life when I was a little girl so he lost the opportunity to know me and therefore to know her and Max.

My father is someone that the older I get the less I understand. He abandoned our family when I was about 3 and 1/2, my brother was almost 7. It was Christmas of 1977. He was a man full of rage, bad choices, alcohol and a pathetic lack of responsibility. Collection of child support ($50/week) or getting him to own up to his legal responsiblity to provide healthcare always was a battle, usually involving long waits and court hearings, until finally my mother just gave up. I really REALLY thought that as I got older I might understand. Maybe when I had kids, it would make sense & I would see how something like that could happen.

I will admit when Ella was born, it was hard for me, it made my core ache to see my husband, her father, being so tender with her. Even then I would question. Its easy now, she's just a tiny baby. But over the years, 5 so far, I have watched their relationship grow. I have seen a man, ill equipped by nature to deal with a little girl, wipe away tears, scoop her up in excitement, whipser sweet things in her ear, diaper her, read her bedtimes stories, blow endless noses, teach her, show her, feed her, bathe her, console her. I have seen a man love a girl more than he loves himself. And love a girl in a way that was not taught to him, but instead was just in him.

My father must have been missing that gene. I know with absolutely no doubt that whatever could come to pass between Hung & I, Ella will never suffer any more than necessary for it. I know that Ella will never not know her father. That is the single greatest gift he can give her.

I have spent a lifetime doubting because of the damage done by a father who walked away. Never on a conscious level did I feel like less, but I still want love to be proven. I don't understand or trust that love sometimes just is. It has made me test people and relationships in ways that is not fair. To make others pay for something they have had no role in creating.

I know I am better person, a better woman, a better mother, a better wife, for not having been influenced directly by his hatefulness. Still, I will never know what Ella knows. The strength, love, and security that one can know when raised by a real man who is there no matter what. I am not saying that a mother isn't enough, she surely was, but there is still a hole. A hole that though I would not have wanted him to fill, it would have been nice to have a real father fill.

I also know how tremendously lucky I was to find and marry the man I did. His patience, devotion and constant steadiness have allowed me to finally open up my heart and trust that it will not end in heartbreak. I could not ask for a better husband or father for my children. I also have found that there is no explanation that will ever suffice for what my father chose to do to my brother and I. That some things in life are truly unforgiveable. And that it is ok for me to chose to live my life without him in it. It is ok for me to refuse to forgive or welcome him now, just because I have children. That this choice is a reflection, not on me, but on him. That it does not make me less of a person or bitter, empty or even sad. It simply makes me resolute. I know this decision is the right decision. No relationship between he and I would ever be real.

It is because I have children, that I will never be able to understand his choice. There is nothing and no one who could ever stand between me and Ella and Max. Absolutely Nothing. And there is nothing that a relationship with him could bring that would add to my life. My life is full, sweet, rich and strangely just as it should be. I owe him nothing. I owe myself more.

Joy is a girl named Ella

This is my girl Ella on a recent fall afternoon. I am constantly amazed by her ability to find joy in everything. Crazy, puke inducing fair rides, McDonald's French Fries, dance class, school, the slug on the rock at the bus stop, her brother, hershey kisses, pennies, a lost tooth, a weekend at gramma's. You name it she loves it.

I am not naive, I know that this too shall pass. That soon enough she will have her moments of NOT loving life. Whether it will be that she doesn't like the outfit I picked out or the little girl at school who will say she's not her friend, the day will come. The day when her ceaseless, effortless love of life will change. She, like all of us, will struggle with friends, love, work, life. She will be fine. My heart will break for her as she realizes that the world is not utopia and sometimes people are just mean to be mean.

For now, I will just continue to bask in her glow. I cherish every single time that out of the blue she will say to me, "Mama, I love you." And no, this statement is not immediately followed by "Can I have a candy bar?" Tonight it was in response to my asking her to pick out and bag our apples. She loves me because of apples!

As she begins to understand the world around her in increasing and disappointing complexity, my job will be to serve as her sounding board, her steady rock, her number one fan in life. Her protector. I will come by this easily. She makes it so easy. She is love. Pure and simple. Sweet and lovely. She is my daughter and I could not be a prouder mom. I know it is such a cliche, but it is so true that I would gladly lay my life on the line for her or her brother. Without question, I know that I would.

Those who know the intricacies of my pregnancies, particularly Max's gestation, will often say that they don't think they could do it. But I know that what I sacrificed was nothing. What I gained was everything. I made the decisions I made for the lives of my children without even a 2nd thought. My only concern was that they get the best chance they could have. This is not heroic. It is simply what a parent does in small and large measure every day. You have no idea what you can handle until the moment comes that you have to just hunker down and push through. And anyone who knows me or my kids knows they have given me far more than I could ever give them. They have given me focus, laughter, warmth, sweetness and a perspective on life that is invaluable. The knowledge that life is too short to waste time worrying about the little stuff.

Upcoming Travels

One of the things I love about my job, other than my kick ass boss, is the fact that I get to travel just the right amount. When I worked for NASA I traveled WAY too much and way too often to places that were just not all that desirable. Wallops Island, Memphis, Mountainview. Not exactly awesome destinations! There were a couple of great places sprinkled in, but again, too much and too often to lame places!

However, in the last 7+ years I've been to many interesting places thanks to the workplace. San Francisco, New York City, Seattle, Atlanta, Toronto, San Antonio, Phoenix, oh and Utah ... don't forget Utah ;) Oh, and Minneapolis & Indianapolis. Upcoming years promise trips to Denver, Vancouver, Miami and Boston. I am sure I am forgetting a few. I digress...

This fall I have many work & non-work related travels.

Texas - THIS weekend - for the wedding of Sumsumsummertime
Williamsburg - Oct 19-21 - taking our neices to visit W&M and hopefully convince one or both that its the best college in the land. Go Tribe!
Urbanna - November 2-3 - for the 50th Annual Oyster Festival!
Denver - November 7-9 - for our annual conference site scope
St. John - November 14-23 - for VACATION!!! FINALLY.
San Diego - January 5-10 - for another conference
Orlando - March 15-22 - for our pilgrimage for Ella to Disney!

That's all that is officially planned for now. I am hoping for a beach house in the outer banks in August. We'll see if daddy can keep bringing home the bacon!

8 Months Old

...also known as 2/3rds of 1 year old. Max can now sit up all by himself & he is discovering his voice. Lots of "ahhhhhhhhhs" "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHs" "Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhs" and "mmmmmmms" but the mmmms are usually related to him being upset about something. He is sort of crawling/military drag style.

I don't have any official specs, but I am guessing he is upper 20s for lbs & he's in size 12mo-18mo.

It's October!

We all survived! YAY! Of course, Max just hates the torture from his sister.

Bison Builders

I won't recount the nightmare here that was our home building process. Suffice to say our builder, Bison Building, tried to steal our house out from under us as the market skyrocketed. We signed a contract for our home in January of 2001 and didn't accept delivery until April of 2002! When we signed the estimated delivery date was August 2001. So, based on that we sold our house in May of 2001 & moved in with my mother in law. Oh, and I ended up pregnant in the process. We moved in just 2 weeks before Ella was born. NIGHTMARE.

Anyway, I am happy to see that the housing bust has claimed them.

Bath Time with Max

He turns the water on, I turn it off. He turns it on, I turn it off. He looks at me like this. As if to say, "HELLO I want it on." And I look back and say "I want it off!" So, of course, he turns it on again.

And this picture I post because my friend says I am VERY strange for loving the back of my baby's head. I just think its very cute. He thinks I am very weird. It is cute. Isn't it!?

I post things like these because these are the tiny, silly things that I won't remember in 5 years when its him heading off to kindergarten.

Oh What a Difference a Year Makes!

I used to love September. It was the month of chrisp cool autumn air and finding out that we were going to have Ella. Then in the early 2000s, it seems bad things started to happen this month. It is the month of Katrina, the World Trade Center & Pentagon, the loss of my dear friend's father, and the words "Your baby's condition is catastrophic." So, now, September is just a month I try to get through, hoping nothing bad will happen. I am not trying to jinx myself I promise but the month kind of freaks me out a little bit.

1 year ago today I was sitting at just about this exact moment in the office of Dr. Ghidini in the perinatal center at Alexandria Hospital. It was for my 2nd sonogram of the day after the first showed bad, bad signs. We had found out in the morning that Max was in grave condition. It was a bad day. We were scared, confused, worried, freaked out, and lost. It seems like both an eternity ago & just yesterday. I find it hard to believe that one year later I am here with a healthy, 7 & 1/2 month old chunky baby boy that is trying to figure out how to crawl. God help us all. How differently it all could have gone, but I truly try not to think about that. Still, September is no fun for me. And I will like it when October 1 is here. I'll breathe a little easier.The fact that Max is here and well is nothing short of a miracle. I only give myself today to think of that. With him I just take every moment as it comes, dwelling in the sweetness of his little spirit. Appreciate it for what it is. We were faced with gut wrentching decisions and painful long days and weeks between appointments. I am just so grateful for that little boy. I am truly, madly in love with both of my children, but it is almost of if he and I have a connection that goes beyond. My mom seems to have it with Ella, but Max & I at times are in our own little world. Its almost as if he knows (and perhaps he does on an unconscious visceral level) all that I went through for him. He knows and he is grateful, and thus, takes it easy on me. He beams when I walk in a room, he quiets when I hold him, he will do anything to get a visual of me in his line of sight.

The biggest difference that Max has brought to my life, the most valuable lesson, is don't sweat the small stuff. Never one to suffer fools lightly, I have gotten even worse. I am INCREDIBLY empathetic to those who truly need empathy and support. However, those who fuss and go into fit about stupid things do not get a lot of tolerance anymore. Life it so short, so precious and so unpredictable that you have to just hold on and try to enjoy the ride!

Another Ella Classic

On Friday, upon being picked up from afterschool care.

Me: "So how was your day? Did you have a good first week of school?"

Ella: "Yes, mama, but its time to stop playing and do our work. We played too much this week!"

I think she doesn't realize that though they seem to be playing they are learning. In 4 days they'd already had 3 days of PE, 1 day of Art and 1 day of Music. And they say public schools are no good :)

7 months old!

Still just the best baby possible. Max is all over the place. He can sit up, roll around the floor, reach and grab stuff & eat real food. Mushed food, but food. So far we're good with peas, squash, sweet potatoes, pears, bananas and pizza. Just kiddin about the pizza.

First Day of School

Its official! She's off to kindergarten. How did this happen? I very much feel like my heart has gone out of my chest and on that bus this morning to school with her. I really didn't think it would be this tough. (note: tough for me, Ella is so happy and excited) I felt very prepared & then we had her last day at Jeannie's and I've just been kind of heavy hearted ever since. She's ready. Its a great big step for her. Mom just has to keep up!

Kindergarten here we come

Is this the face that Ella's kindergarten teacher will know and love? Or will that be the mouth that never stops running? I fear she, like me, will have the report card statement "very good student, talks too much in class!" I guess there are worse things than having a million questions. And her questions are not, "why, mom? why why why?" they are more like "Mama, why does that tree have red leaves in the fall and the other trees leaves stay green?" QUESTIONS I AM INCAPABLE of answering. Yesterday she says to me, "Mama, umbrellas were invented in India." I have no idea whether she's right or not (but I'd bet on her rather than against her) but the fact that she knows India exists blows my mind. She also said to the lady cutting her hair, "Hey, did you hear about the .... what's it called mama (mama kept silent since I had NO clue where she was going with it), that big storm, oh Hurricane, in Mexico. It was flooding and the rain was coming down sideways!" Yes, she occassionally sees snipets of the news. The real world, she even heard something about 14 soldiers dying in Iraq the other day and said "Oh mama, that is so sad about those soldiers." Maybe I should shield her but I'd rather talk to her about real life. So she's not totally sheltered and ill-equipped to deal with the real world.

This brings me to a discussion about TV watching by kids on a listserv for Moms from the DC area. There were dozens of emails about how only 1/2 an hour a day should be allowed and on and on. I just flat out disagree. And finally had to post the following message:


I have a 5 year old just about ready to enter kindergarten and TV has always been a part of her life. Definitely more than the 30 minutes a day or whatever is recommended. We don't abuse it and when we tell her that's it and time to go...to bed, to do art, to school, she is extremely cooperative and happy to move on to another activity. We have always been very careful about WHAT she watches, not so much how much she watches. We get comments from our adult friends expressing amazement at her vocabulary and knowledge of even intricate concepts. I know we have played a large part in that by talking to her and doing our best to explain things to her, but I also know that she has learned an appreciation of many things and an understanding of even more from her shows (Baby Einstein, Sesame Street, Little Einstein, etc - think Noggin channel, though she does love Scooby Doo too). Another great resource for exposing your children at a young age to music is the Beethoven's Wig cd set. At first she just loved listening to the singing (they set classical pieces to lyrics that tell the story or history of the piece), now she can hear a classical composition and recognize it and even recall the name of the piece. "Mom this is Fur Elise" "Yes, Ella, it is!" Ultimately it is totally up to individual families to set limits. I also try to think back to when I was a kid and how much TV time we had. It was CONSTANT. And the quality of programming (Tom & Jerry, Flintstones, etc) was not nearly as good as it is today. Still, I made it into one of the most selective colleges in Virginia and have a successful fulfilling career. I guess I could be considered a bit of a slacker mom, but I try not to obsess too much about anything and just do the best job I can do with my children. As long as they are happy, healthy and engaged in what is going on around them, I am ok with that. Maybe I am in denial, but I am ok with that too!

Crab Fest #5

Wow, so we've been having a Crab Fest every year since Ella was born, making this #5. Time does fly. Typically they happen in July near my birthday, but this year with the new baby and all (yes, I am planning on using him as an excuse until he's at least 7) we (meaning me) had a little bit more trouble pulling it together. So ... it happened ... in August. Finally. I pared down the guest list a bit (no offense to anyone intended) and simplified the fixin's because I wanted to keep it simple. We had a great turnout. Absolutely fabulous weather, cool and breezy for August in Virginia. Nothing short of a miracle. No lightning! No electrocutions. Not a drop of rain. Lots of crabs, great friends, two cute kids, and beer. What more could you want for a summer evening.

Next year, maybe, we'll be back to our normal large partying selves. But maybe not as the Max will be mobile and 18 months old!

PS If you see yourself on this page and don't want to be on this page ... let me know, I'll gladly delete you!

Ella Entertaining (or being entertained by) our Guests














The Guys Talking about guy stuff














Current Guests w/ Future Guest in utero :)














Max Enjoying His First Crab Fest














The Sisters!

Our Littlest F1 Fan

I am not pleased with the team hat displayed. If I could find my JPM hat he'd have that on. I think he'll look more handsome in Black & Gray than Red & Yellow!

Separated by 33 years and some change...

I've been informed of the similarities between Max & I, what I hadn't noticed was how much Ella favors my brother. The chin, eyes, & nose...almost identical.

6 Month Check-up

We went for our 6 month check-up with Dr. G yesterday (yes, for those who are counting we were 17 days late!) and all is well!

Max is just shy of 22 lbs. I am not sure how long he is (bad mommy) but I know that his basic stats are as follows:

Weight: 95%
Height: 75%
Head: 80%

That means he's going to be a relatively tall, smart guy :) Or so I like to think. He also got a round of 4 immunizations. Last time (Dr. G swore) that he'd have to have 4!! in one day. His allergy testing so far has come back negative, which frankly shocks me just knowing my own allergy history. So we'll start reintroducing food. 1 at at time for at least 4 days before moving on to the next. We'll see how that goes. He soooooooo wants to eat!

Here's the little guy thinking he can fly.

Training for STJ

He seems to like it! He's working the dimple too don't you think?

I must be getting old. These are my nieces on Hung's side (duh:) This is them at my wedding. They are now almost going to college. The one on the left is a junior in high school, the one on the left a rising senior. Where has the time gone! In the moments when I think my babies will be babies forever (some say Ella is already not a baby but I just ignore them) I think of these kids and how fast their lives have been blowing by!

Cynthia (on the left) wasn't BORN when I met my husband. Aren't they cute?

Little Man

The little man getting ready for a dip. So the little guy is now a little over 6 months old and can do the following:

1 - Eat solid food - ok mushed baby food but still, he likes it. Smacks his lips and everything.

2 - Roll from back to front and front to back. Makes bed time interesting, though he is still a great sleeper.

3 - Make lots of noises ... his favorites seem to be oooooohhhhhhhh and aaaaahhhhhhhhh.

4 - Is very ticklish especially his tummy, sides and chunky leg rolls.

100 Days to Go

and very much counting....

Recovering from Utah

Not the sign I expected to see in Salt Lake City.

I got back from Utah around 11 pm on Thursday night to find my nephew waiting at the airport for me! A nice and funny surprise as he was holding a sign that said, "Aunt Amy, Math Genius" funny stuff. I was totally wiped out but happy to be home.

Ella had been sick from Saturday - Tuesday while I was gone. Running a fever and just generally feeling awful. Just a virus apparently and by the time I got home she was back to her normal self.

I had planned to work Friday but then changed my mind and decided to rest, and then ended up home with both kids as Jeannie was sick. They were great all day but man I was tired. I could barely keep my eyes open all day long. A week of 6am to 7pm workdays followed by dinner and drinks with coworkers makes for a very tired Amy. Oh well.

Yesterday we went to get Max his new carseat. He's too big for the carrier anymore. My back with thank me I am sure. Of course it was missing a piece when we got it out of the box so now we need to take another trip to Buy Buy Baby. We spent this morning laying around and then went to the pool for a little while with both kiddies. Now we are just enjoying a relaxing Sunday afternoon.

St. John Update: The Good and the Bad!

First I am so excited that my great friend, Mari & her husband will be joining us on our trip to STJ this fall over Thanksgiving! YAY! She found a great rate on American and jumped on it. The house is a 4 bedroom so hopefully there will be plenty of room for us to spread out.

Second I am sad to report that Delta SCREWED us. Well, they tried to. They tried to switch the departure on our connection from Thursday, the 15th of November to Friday, the 16th. Laying us OVER more than a day in Atlanta. Uh, no. Especially NO with two little kids. So I called and was able to get us moved to Wednesday, the 14th instead. So the good news is we have an extra day of vacation. The not so good news is that our house is booked up to the minute we arrive, so we are going to have to stay somewhere else.

I spent the day debating St. Thomas for a night vs. heading on over the St. John and spending 1 night at the Westin or Caneel Bay. I settled on a night at the Ritz Carlton on St. Thomas. It doesn't come cheap but after the year we had and the postponement last time, I am ok with living large a little bit for this trip & its only for a night! We got a nice ocean view room with two double beds + a crib, along with free breakfast for 2 and a $100 resort credit along with the room. Not too shabby. When I figured it all out the rate was comparable to other lesser hotels on the island. I will still look to make sure the rate doesn't drop!

All in all I can live with that compromise. We'll get in around 3, head to the Ritz, relax a little by the pool, have a nice dinner and a good sleep, wake up, have breakfast, relax a little more, clean up and head to the water taxi for St. John. We can get into our house at 11 am, so it all will work out just fine! 3 months & 3 weeks to go!

An Investigation

People keep saying how much more Max looks like me than Ella did as a baby. So I decided to do a little side by side comparison. I guess I can see it...Poor Boy!

Birthing a Baby...

My sweet mama just sent me the sweetest funniest email about my birth! For posterity. I am guessing this pic is from my first birthday.

-----Original Message-----

Subject: OOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHHH.............

Vacuum the house, dust the furniture, mop the floor.....energy to burn.....feeling just great....Granny Farris has been picked up from the airport, flew in from Illinois.....supper is done....sitting on the sofa looking through old photo albums....time to go to bed.....big PAPA has gone to work the graveyard shift at the shipyard.........lie down to relax and oh something doesn't feel right in my back..........hummmmmmmmmmmm.....go and tell Granny.....she makes the big phone call to Uncle Homer's house..........he & auntie baby doll arrive.....Ho Ho arrives curb side on Dover Road.......vw car door flung open.......all doors on house he props open too.....ZOOM, ZOOM, ZOOM.......off we go to the hospital in Uncle HO HO's VW............it is about 2 AM....he runs through all of the RED stoplights........car flashers flashing yellow, car horn beeping to warn other motorist we are coming through (however there are few cars on the road at this hour of the morning.........OUCH....I can see the head..........YIKES............MY BACK IS CRACKING IN TWO............OWWWWWWHHHHHH..........HELP ME.............."stop telling me to count the holes in the ceiling tile"................God Damn it, QUIT telling me just to relax my hands...........
OH THIS HURTS............OW THIS REALLY HURTS...............................YIKES.............
SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP ME.......................I NEED TO WALK.........OW............BREATHE
DEEP...........RELAX.............YEAH RIGHT!
help ME PLEASE...............OH GOD I AM GOING TO KILL SOMEBODY................ah la la land finally
they have given me something to relax me ........... I doze in and out ........... soon I hear "IT'S A BABY GIRL" and I am so happy and I know my life is forever changed for the better............
In about 5 minutes from now you were born some 34 years ago....you looked just like a little
indian baby, dark curly hair, dark pink skin, so cute, sooooo big all 11 lb 4 oz of you
I was so lucky ............and the rest is history as you know.......................Love your mother

Birthday Plans

I couldn't resist posting this since its almost my birthday! Good times, good times :)

I am a Crazy Woman!

And ... its almost my birthday.

I have been crazy busy, between the house, the kids, the husband and the job, I am running around like a nutty woman. I leave 1 week from today for SLC, Utah for work, so that is a big part of the insanity. 2 weeks from today it will be all over!

I have been talking with some landscape architects, pool people, etc to see about possibly putting a pool in our side yard and doing something with the overall space. We need a MASTER PLAN! Hung and I are clueless. We know what we don't want, but have no idea what is possible. We would definitely like something au natural (greenery) that would serve as a privacy/noise buffer for the main road. We'll see ... baby steps. So far Town & Country Pools is the front runner.

This weekend is packed with fun. My mama is coming to celebrate my birthday ... so Friday night she arrives. Saturday we have Ella's dance class from 11:30-12:30, rush home change and head out to Summer's bridal shower (whooo hooo Summer) from 2-5. Hung will be taking the kids to our nephew's 4th birthday party from 4-6ish. All home by 6:30 to get ready to go to dinner. Johanna is coming at 7:30 and we are off to DC for dinner at Firefly with KK & her hubby & my mama!

Sunday should be relatively relaxing compared to Saturday. Just plans to go see the new baby in town, Sophie. Hopefully we'll get some pool time in there somewhere! This is why I lobby for our own pool!!

Kick ASS shoes

Went shopping with my partner in crime, KK, on Sunday and came home with these babies. Practical? No. They are actually quite comfy & considering they were more than 50% the regular price of $194 I couldn't resist. Via Spiga. Hot Hot Hot. Can't wait until I have a reason to wear them!

Happy 4th of July!

We had a fun 4th! We started the day by sleeping in until after 8 am! Yay Max and Ella! Then we slowly got up and got ourselves going. We headed out to the Lorton Station parade and block party. FUN! This is not a huge overcrowded parade, just small and simple. Perfect for the little ones. Ella got to see her little gym teachers who were in the parade. She was SO excited! Max napped through most of the parade, even the fire engines, no he doesn't have a hearing problem. We've checked!

After the parade we headed to the town center for free cotton candy, snow cones, and popcicles. After about an hour or so we headed back to the house to rest up for the pool party later in the day.

We headed over to Patty and Brian's around 4 and enjoyed a lazy afternoon of grilled foods, yummy desserts (the best apple pie I've ever eaten - baked by one of the hubbies no less!) and swimming! All in all it was a great day. Until I realized it was almost 9pm and we had to all work the next day!

Ella has gone to Summer Camp

Ok, just for the day, but still. What a grownup girl she has become. How did this happen?

Ms Jeannie is closed this week to take her own family vacation so I signed Ella up for summer camp. Yesterday she was a little timid, but I think she had a great time. They got to paint, play outside, play games, and eat popcicles. When I picked her up I asked her how it was and she said, "well this morning I thought I was going to be a little shy today, but now I think tomorrow is going to be so much fun!" Today they get to go to the MOVIE. I want to go to summer camp!

Today is spirit day & the theme was "Crazy Hair Day!" ... I think we did alright. Well, she could have just rolled out of bed and gone and that would have fit the bill.

Happy 5 Months Max!

Happy 5 Months Max! Actually it was yesterday but who is counting. I don't know why but this picture just cracks me up, I love it! Is it just me or is his hair looking reddish?

Let's see things you can do now...

1 - Eat! You really like to eat. Still on the yucky formula, but just 1 month till you can have real chow. Well, mushed real chow. I think you are gonna love it!

2 - Sleep - You are consistently sleeping from about 8pm - 7 or so in the morning. Daddy and I keep saying you are just too easy.

3 - Grabbing everything in sight

4 - Laughing and Giggling

5 - Trying (unsuccessfully so far) to sit up

6 - Generally just being a cool guy!

Angelina & Max

The other day I was flipping through a trashy magazine. Yes, I am not proud, but I read People. Anyway, so Max is sitting next to me just chilling and I notice he's noticed the picture of Angelina Jolie. And then I notice, he is FLIRTING ... raising his eyebrow, smiling, gazing. So I turn to page to a cracker ad and he kind of frowns. I turn it back to Angelina. He turns back on the charm. We better not let her know or else she'll try to adopt him ;0

MRI & Cortisone to the epidural space

Sounds like fun, no? Well, I got worked in yesterday for an appointment to read my MRI and have a cortisone injection if needed. Seems like I definitely have a herniated disc - L4, S1 if that makes any sense to any of you. Anyway, lower back left side. That is what is pushing on the nerve and making my leg hurt. So, we moved ahead with the shot. Now I am a woman who has had 2 epidurals (labor related) and 3 amniocenteses and 2 thoracocentesis (remember through me, my uterus, Max's chest cavity and into the space around his lungs). I am NOT a wimp when it comes to these things. I don't like them but I don't freak out either. All I can say is it damn well better work (you don't really know for 3-7 days), because it HURT like a son of a b#@%$ !

The procedure for those into gory details....

They prep you just as they would for a L&D epidural. Except you aren't leaned over you are laying flat on the table. Sterilize the area and inject a little lidocaine to numb you locally. I still can't figure out why they even make this token effort. I mean they are INJECTING near your spine. Really does it matter if you feel the prick on your skin? I think NO! Then with the guidance of an xray (that was reassuring) they shoot in a little dye to make sure they are in the right space. When they have the spot, they inject a combination of lidocaine and cortisone. His first try wasn't quite there, it only pinched a bit in the butt area. They know they have the right spot when you just about break the table from squeezing down. It burns alllllllllllll (and I do mean ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL) the way down the nerve that has been irritated, in other words from my heinie to about the back of my knee. He said that was a good sign that he was in the right spot. I said nothing because I could only think of expletives.
Immediately after you have a bit of relief from the lidocaine, but that wears off after a few hours. Then you get REALLY sore. My entire leg is very tender, but that too is normal. Apparently the cortisone will really start working on the area and bring the inflamation down in 3-7 days. I am hoping for 3. That would be tomorrow if I count the day of the procedure as a day :) Can you tell I've been suffering a bit too long.

Anyway, the next steps are ... Physical Therapy for about a month, one more injection in about a month if I am still suffering. Then just regular self-care stuff. I think if I can get my core stronger and just generally get a little bit fitter, I can win this battle.

Back Pain is Kicking my Ass

Ok, I am over it. It has been almost an ENTIRE month now of lower back pain that has migrated to my hip and upper left rear leg. I now completely understand why people with chronic pain go nuts. I am so tired of not being able to find a comfortable position, or pick up my child without a twinge or crushing pain, or SLEEP. Its the sleep that is killing me I think. I am one of the few mothers of a 5 month old who can say that what is keeping me up at night is NOT my child.

I've tried every remedy I know. Last week I went to my regular doc who immediately uttered the word "surgery" and wanted me to go on prednisone - HIGH doses of prednisone. NO thank you. He wanted me to go for an MRI and see another specialist. No thanks. So I called the place that fixed me last time this reared its ugly head ... hmmmmmm Ella was about, you guessed it, 5 months old. Seems as the short ones approach 20 lbs that's my backs limit!

So I call the Capital Spine and Pain Center or whatever it is called now and got an appointment for today. It went well. We got through the entire appointment without the mention of surgery. It helps they are commited to non-surgical interventions. So, off I went after that appointment, to get an MRI. The doc suspects a herniated disc. I suspect SI joint dysfunction. We'll see who wins tomorrow. I go back tomorrow to have the MRI read and to get an injection of cortisone if it is warranted. I am not sure how I feel about that but as my mom said "if you can handle a needle through your uterus surely you can handle one in your back!" We'll see! But something has got to give because this is kicking my ass big time. I hate it!

If you are going to do it, do it with attitude

Is it just me or does the ribbon totally ruin the tough girl attitude she's going for here?

Things that make you say hmmmmmmmm......

A quote from John Travolta blames Virginia Tech, Columbine and all the other tragic school shootings not on the psychos who committed the heinous acts - but on psychiatric drugs. "I still think that if you analyze most of the school shootings, it is not gun control. It is [psychotropic] drugs at the bottom of it," Travolta told W. Excuse me, whhhhattttttt?

I know crazy and I can't get my head around that one. Exactly how are they corelated? Come again? Please explain....

Mad Max

These pictures were just too funny to not post! First he draws you in with a little flirt. Then he gives you the mean face! Love it!

Dancing Girl!

Our little dancer had her first performance this weekend. There was a tap routine, a freestyle and a ballet portion. It was hysterical. Ella is on the upper age end of the class which is for 3-5 year olds. SO FUNNY. I especially liked the one little girl who refused to move. She was on the floor, on her dot, but did not move! At all! Poor girl. Ella had a blast and has asked me at least 1000 times "mama, why did they give me a medal?" I have to admit I am stumped, so I just say "its your reward for being such a good dancer." She doesn't buy it. My little cynic.













Upside Down ...

Don't you love the electric blue costume?

There is Hope for Me & F1 Afterall

And his name is Lewis Hamilton. This is the guy who ultimately replaced my former F1 boyfriend, Juan Montoya :) Yes, my husband is aware that I have boyfriends who I do not personally know and are crazy foxy!

This kid and really I mean kid - he's 22! - is tearing up Formula 1 racing. This is his rookie year. He is #1 in the points, has won 2 races now (he just won the US Gran Prix, which Hung took our nephew Andy to see), and has been on the podium (that's top 3 for those who don't do racing but are still reading this post) in every race this season. Suffice to say, he's kicking ass. ROOKIE. And cute. And he races for McLaren Mercedes, so at least I am staying true to my team. Even though they have that jackass, Alonso racing for them too.

Let's quote a little from his wiki entry "At Bahrain, he became the first F1 driver to finish in the top three in his first three F1 championship races, a record he subsequently extended to his first seven races. Finishing second in Spain made Hamilton the youngest driver ever to lead the drivers' championship. By winning a Grand Prix at his sixth attempt in Canada, Hamilton became the fourth youngest Grand Prix winner, and the first driver since Juan Pablo Montoya in 2001 to win a race in his first season. His second win, at Indianapolis, marked the first time in F1 history that a rookie driver took two consecutive poles and race victories."

Yes, you can note the reference to my former boyfriend, Juan :)

Max's New Bumbo Seat

Ok, so the Bumbo seat didn't exist (or if they did I certainly didn't know about them) when Ella was a babe. Perfect for babies who can't sit themselves up but are able to hold up their heads.

This is Max making the face that goes with the sound that no matter how hard I try I can't duplicate. That's our current game. He makes a noise, I copy, he laughs. He laughs a little harder when he makes this noise, I think he's taunting me thinking "jeez, mom its not that hard!"

A list of names I have for Max:

Moose

Mussolini (yes I know that is wrong)

Mr. Man

Little Man

Big Man

Muscles

Mad Max

Maxwell Smart (when he does something particularly intelligent)

I know ... I need a new hobby!

Yet Another St. John Link

Check out my new link to St. John Spice's (a great store on STJ) Cruz Bay Ferry dock webcam. This way I can sit and dream I am the one getting off the ferry boat and sinking my toes in the STJ sand!

Virginia Wine Lovers ... who can read

Check out this very fun, light mystery, The Merlot Murders. You can find it at amazon.com. I picked my copy up at the Swedenburg Winery out around Middleburg. (The owners of Swedenburg Winery helped her with the technicalities of winemaking).

I just ordered her 2nd Wine Country Mystery, The Chardonnay Charade.

A 4 Month Check-Up

Mr. Max officially turned 4 months on May 30th, but just yesterday we went in for our official 4 month check-up.

First the stats: (he is a big boy!)

Height: 25 1/2 in.

Weight: 18 lbs, 13 oz.

Head: 17 1/4 in.

Guess what, he's a growing beautifully. Just as he should. As if on cue, as Max reaches out and grabs my hand, Dr. G says "I was just going to ask if he's reaching and grabbing" CHECK. And is he social? Again, on cue Max gets a big grin and goes "ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" in that baby language that only mama understands :)

He's doing everything he should be doing. Trying like hell to sit up. If you put him in the reclining seat he uses his abs (mom should try that too) to pull himself upright. Trying like hell to roll over. He gets twisted but just can't manage to throw that chunky thigh over. He tries, mom helps. I let him grab my hand and over he pulls. Popping his head up with a look that says "WOW, look at this perspective!"

My concerns raised at this appointment.

1. Still has flaky scalp & excema (just like his sis). Dr. G. says if it doesn't bother me it won't bother Max. The best we can do is make sure we lube him up really well after each bath.

2. There is a little lump on the back of his head. Guess what, there are lymph nodes in the back of your head. Did you know this? I did not. Related to his scalp dryness. Nothing to worry about.

3. He SLEEPS a lot. Dr. G. says (who has a newborn himself) and you are complaining about this!!! Me: "Not complaining just concerned." He says if we are getting 5-6 good waking active hours than he's just fine. So hip hip hooray the sleeping from 8pm till 6-7 am is nothing to worry about! We love that! We have decided that he's the chillest baby ever and we will definitely keep him.

Over our trip to VA Beach, Hung finally broke it to me that you can in fact lay him down awake and he will in fact (when tired) insert the thumb and fall asleep without any crying. I was like whattttttt???? How did you discover this? He says, "try it" we do and low and behold baby sleeps. The girl child NEVER did that! NEVER EVER EVER. I love her just the same ... but man a chilled, comfy, easy sleeping baby is a great thing. I am trying not to brag here, but those of you who've been along for the entire ride know that I EARNED THIS with my insane pregnancy! I think I will take a moment to breathe.

A Comparison ... at 4ish months.

So some similarities:
Cute, Huge EYES, Same nose, both droolers, Same chin.

Differences:
Her face is rounder, his is longer. She has a lower hairline.