Baking, baking and more baking

I spent pretty much the entire day yesterday baking. Really, I started Friday night with the making of the Hot Trash (like a spicy homemade chex mix on crack) and Sweet and Spicy Bourbon Pecans. Mmmmmmmmm.....The house smelled amazing. The nuts didn't work out quite right and I was about to toss them (all 2lbs!!!) when I thought perhaps I should just roast/toast/bake them a bit more. I did that and OH MY. I had to cook them about 20 minutes longer than the recipe called for but the result was just as it should have been - more sweet than spicy but almost caramelized on the outside and crunchy. I may eat them all myself!

So yesterday morning began the sweet stuff. Two batches of chocolate chip cookies, 2 pans of 7-layer cookies, 2 pans of fudge! I still have to make the dough for Aunt Frances' Christmas Tree cookies. I saved the biggest PITA for last. I need to make it today so I can refrigerate it overnight. Then tomorrow while the kiddos are at school and daycare I can start the baking. Ella is really indifferent to the baking ... she's much more into the decorating. It will be so much easier that way! They are basically a vehicle for buttercream frosting. Mmmmmmmmmmm....its not Christmas to me without them, even though they really are a very large pain in the butt to make. The stand mixer makes it at least tolerable. I can't believe I used to make them with just a wooden spoon and elbow grease.

I am officially off now until January 5th. January 5th-8th I am in DC at a conference. January 9th is my usual Friday off, meaning I don't have to set foot in my office again until January 12th! The kids are still in school/daycare through Tuesday. So Monday and Tuesday will be my pull it all together days and then we get to just relax and enjoy the holidays.

Marriage is a good thing ... for all

Marriage to me is not a religious institution, perhaps that is why I can't for some reason get my mind around our government either allowing discrimination against same sex couples or preferential treatment of those of us who happen to be heterosexual. I just don't get it. Really I don't. Not even a little bit.

Surely marriage is a spiritual union, but that doesn't necessarily preclude nonspiritual couples from getting married. There is no quiz. Well, unless you are catholic. My reasons for wanting to be married to my husband really have little to do with church or God. His have absolutely nothing to do with church or God. Yet, we aren't forbidden from marrying.

Churches and clergy should absolutely be able to choose who they will and will not marry. I am more than fine with this, being the big supporter of the separation of church and state that I am. I know, perhaps the founding fathers were on to something!

Opponents would say that our founding fathers never imagined a world where same sex marriage would be an issue. You know what, I am pretty sure they never imagined a world where people of different races would want to marry. That is the beauty of our Constitution. It is flexible, adaptable, a living document.

40 years ago in Virginia I would not have been allowed to marry my husband. 40 years ago. Think about that. 40 years ago in Virginia the police broke into the house of an interracial couple to try to catch them in the act so that they could be arrested. Loving v. Virginia. Look it up. It took the United States Supreme Court to put an end to what we now look back on as unbelievable, hideous discrimination.

Caroline County Sheriff R. Garnett Brooks rousted them from their bed at 2 a.m. in July 1958 and told them the District's marriage certificate was no good in Virginia. They pleaded guilty, and Caroline County Circuit Court Judge Leon M. Bazile sentenced them to a year's imprisonment, to be suspended if they left the state for the next 25 years.

"Almighty God created the races white, black, yellow, malay and red, and he placed them on separate continents. And but for the interference with his arrangement there would be no cause for such marriages. The fact that he separated the races shows that he did not intend for the races to mix," Bazile ruled.

Seriously! Less than a generation ago people truly believed this was acceptable thinking. Judges for goodness sake. It is my hope that it won't take another 40 years to put an end to the same type of discrimination against same sex couples. No one is asking for special rights, only equal rights. That, my friends, is guaranteed by our Constitution.

If you want to protect the sanctity of marriage then you should seriously be also talking about making divorce illegal, or at a minimum MUCH more difficult to obtain. The hypocrisy of our lawmakers, many of whom are on marriage #2 or #3, who in one breath say the marriage must be protected but in their own real lives (which will never be impacted by this denial of rights) live in a way that is inconsistent with their edicts, blows my mind. If you are going to deny rights to some, while allowing it for others, you better have a DAMNNNNNED good reason for it and so far I have yet to hear one argument that doesn't sound like it came out of a pastor's mouth. That's just not good enough for me. I am not talking about a church being forced to condone something that is completely opposite of the belief system. I am talking about a government denying a fundamental and basic right to a subset of the population. I need a better reason than God and the bible say its wrong ... because God and the bible say a lot of things are wrong that we do everyday. No more cherry picking!

Random Things...

1) 184 days/6 months - That's how long I have until I return to STJ ... my happy place. Even though I was just there in August and last November (barely more than a year ago) it feels like its been an eternity. Why is that?

2) The Wii is addictive. I have a problem. Its a good problem to have I suppose, better than a crack habit for sure, but it is weird. I do not like to exercise. I enjoy how I feel AFTER I exercise but the process bores me. Not the Wii. Especially the Wii Fit. Other than it telling me to obvious difficult news that my BMI is not that of Cindy Crawford and I have a ways to go, it is FUN. Even for someone like me, with exercise ADHD! I am a little OCD about it. I always, ALWAYS, start with strength training, then aerobics (boxing, hula hooping, or running --- usually 2 of the 3 sometimes all three like today), then balance (like Ski jumping ... where I am the current reigning champion and skiing where I suck worse than Ella), then yoga. All in all it takes about 50 minutes and it flies! Amazing.

3) I can't wait for Wednesday and Thursday to be over. I am also working on Friday, but I get to do it from home in my PJs so it doesn't really count to me. After Friday I won't be back in the office until January 12th. I have a conference in there, but its not "THE OFFICE"! Its not like I don't like my work, I do. Its just that I think I REALLY need a break to clear my mind and lower my stress/frustration/fly off the handle level.

4) As usual I have overcommited my holiday time, but I am so looking forward to all the family and friend time.

• The fav nephew comes home Friday.
• Saturday is a birthday celebration for my BFF KK at the National Harbor.
• Christmas Eve we'll continue a 3 (or 4) year tradition of dinner with KK and her hubby.
• Christmas Day we'll do our Santa thing, have a big breakfast that will hold us over until we go to my brother in law's for dinner.
• December 26th my godmother and her family arrive and we'll have the huge traditional Christmas spread. Maggie will be staying on for a few days to hang out with the kids and me.
• New Years Eve we are having a little gathering of friends. I have a feeling its all going to be kind of a blur!

Joyful Holidays to all .... and to all a good night.

And I Swore I'd NEVER torture my children!

From start to finish the torture only took about 10 seconds. He was absolutely 100% fine until I sat him down and stepped away. The photo guy freaked asking if I wanted to take a walk and try again in a few minutes. NO, take the picture!!!

I had two rapidly snapped pictures to choose from, this one, and the first one which showed Ella giving Max the "what the hell is your problem?" look. The "DO YOU KNOW WHO THIS GUY IS?" look. I slightly regret not getting that one. But I do not at all regret getting this one. I am so sorry if that makes me a bad mama!

You can pretty much tell from this picture who has been naughty and who has been nice this year! Just kidding they are both amazing kids, usually!

Boys!

Things I now know about boys for sure ... since I now have one of my own.

Before Max's addition, our home was very nicely balanced to the advantage of the ladies. Our only child, dog, and fish were all of the female variety. Hung only occasionally had a brother in arms when nephew Andy was in residence. Otherwise, he was soundly outnumbered and smartly didn't even try to fight the estrogen power. Max doesn't have the perspective or the sense to do the same.

1) Boys don't mind being dirty. They may even prefer it. Spagetti sauce from head to toe. Not a problem.

2) They are messy eaters. This explains why often now I just take his shirt off before dinner. I know it sounds wrong but there is only so much spraynwash can do!

3) Boys are not touchy feely. This doesn't mean they aren't NEEDY. When they need something (all ladies with husbands know this) they can be really needy, but in general they don't need/crave/want the hugging and kissing and reassurance that girls seem to crave.

4) They like hanging out without a shirt on. If they do have a shirt on, they prefer it have a cape.

5) The Car thing is hardwired. Max took one look at his dad's car collection once his eyes could focus and fell in love. He will do ANYTHING to get a car from the shelves of cars. ANYTHING.

6) They eat A LOT. I have no idea how I will afford to feed him when he's 6 much less 16 if this continues.

7) They are fairly simple. Feed them, keep them warm and they are set.

8) They LOVE Lego's. I fear I will never get all the Lego's or cars put away at one time again and that my house will always somewhat look like a Lego bomb went off in a junk yard.

9) They are incredibly sweet...when they want to be.

10) They are silly. They laugh at the most ridiculous things. I think this is related to #7.

11) They are of few words. Max understands EVERY single thing we say to him. He will listen and act accordingly, but he has very little need or desire to speak to us. (Ella on the other hand rarely STOPS speaking to us). Everything that is going on in their little head is very apparent in their faces if you just pay close enough attention. They use the corresponding face for the corresponding emotion ... all of the time!

and most importantly,

12) There will never be a woman born into the world that is good enough for them in their mama's eyes.

Welcome Winter

Nothing says "f you, winter" like a trip to the beach! So we packed up the kiddies and headed to Virginia Beach for the long weekend after Thanksgiving. We stayed in a beautiful new two bedroom condo on the oceanfront courtesy of our ownership in a sister timeshare. Of course they were trying to upsell us but for a virtually free 2 night stay on the ocean, even in late November, I am all for it.

I love the ocean. Any season, I still love it. We lucked out and the weather was fairly mild - 60s for the first day and 50s for the second. We had a great time just relaxing and enjoying the quietness of the beach in Winter.

We enjoyed the drive through light show on the boardwalk, pizza in from Pi (possibly the best pizza I've ever had) and a great dinner out at the immortal Bubba's (its nicer than it sounds), but mostly we just enjoyed each other.

The Boy: 22 Months

This month Max enjoyed his first solo ice cream cone!

In only 2 months this guy is going to officially be two. I really am in shock a little that his babyhood is flying by. I won't lie and say I am the biggest fan of 0-6 months. Really I operate as if in a fog. My pregnancies are stressful. I think it takes me a good 6 months to decompress and breathe again. 6 months to 18 months is kind of tough too because they are growing so fast and changing so much that you just try to keep up, all the while trying to figure out what the heck they need/want at the given moment.

Once I get past about 1.5, I get in my comfort zone. Here I go, I'll jinx myself for sure, but I really love kids when they start to communicate and give a little with the taking. This is where we find ourselves now. There is some empathy emerging, some use for Mama and Daddy other than refilling bottles and changing diapers.

Max is emerging into quite an interesting little guy. He is clearly OCD. He loves, NO, LOVES his cars. He pronounces car as if he's from Boston ... Caaaaaaah. Actually more like CAAAAAH!!!!

He likes them in all shapes and sizes. He likes them to surround his plate when he eats. He likes to line them up and then crash them into each other. He likes anything about them. I did nothing, absolutely nothing, to encourage this behavior. I blame his father. Both his OCD (the cars have to be arranged just so) and his love of cars were in-born. He is so hard-headed. Gets that from both sides. He's also sweet. After he lashes out and tosses a car at your head, if you express distress he truly does feel sorry and will come over and rub you as if to say are you alright?

He is a complete dare devil. We spent the weekend, post-Thanksgiving, in Virginia Beach. Our resort had a great indoor pool. He didn't hesitate to walk off the edge and into the pool. Repeatedly. I suppose he just knew someone would catch him. Luckily daddy was there to oblige. He really likes torturing me by doing things like this. Tonight he stepped off the couch into thin air. He kind of tucked and rolled and major injury was averted. Me: "Are you ok??" Him: popping up and brushing it off, "K!" Now, if any of us exclaim in pain or cough he looks at us and says, "K?" See, compassion...

He had his first two temper tantrums last month, I didn't report on them in the Month 21 report thinking if I didn't acknowledge them perhaps they would go away. This month that theory seems to be working. We'll see how this pans out at we approach 2.

I know the terrible 2s are what most parents dread. I don't. I LOVE this age. Perhaps it had something to do with Ella never actually hitting that tantrum-y crazed 2 phase. She just didn't. I mean she had a few meltdowns here and there but typically entirely our fault in that we'd either over exhausted her, kept her up far past her bedtime, forgot to feed her or just generally did something stupid. I don't consider those tantrums, I consider them negative reinforcements from child to parent for dumb parenting behavior. Our kids have taught us so much more than we'll ever be able to teach them.

So....I am fastening my seat belt and planning to very much enjoy the ride.

Giving Thanks

I have so, so, so many things to be thankful for this season. Two years ago this time I still had a baby in my belly who we were not sure would be ok. His health and life are enough to make me grateful for a lifetime. I am so lucky to have the most intelligent, sweet, and adorable daughter in the world. A girl who happily splits her candy with you, insisting you get the bigger half! I have a tolerant, hard-working and loving husband who puts up with me and seems to love me more now than he did 17 years ago when we met. He knows me inside out and still somehow loves me. He gave me a beautiful family and a happy, safe home. I have the most giving mother in the world who is the best grandmother our children could ever have.

I have the most wonderful Godmother who always welcomes us into her home (at holidays and throughout the year) with such warmth and attention. The Thanksgiving spread this year was incredible, especially my favorite coconut cake. There is always more than enough to eat, games to be played, memories to be shared. She is the ultimate hostess in that you want for nothing while you are there and she makes it all seem effortless. I hope she knows how much we appreciate how much work we know she puts into making us feel so at home in her home. I love spending time with her and my Maggie! 15! Wow, where does the time go. I remember when I lived with them during graduate school, which seems like just yesterday, and Maggie was just about Max's age. She was always the sweetest, most adorable girl. I remember dropping her off at the MCV daycare, her big bubblegum eyes in my rear view mirror so excited to get to go with me!

I am also beyond blessed by my friends who are just the most gifted, smart, talented and true people in the world. I am so lucky. Life is good. Happy late Thanksgiving y'all!