MRI & Cortisone to the epidural space

Sounds like fun, no? Well, I got worked in yesterday for an appointment to read my MRI and have a cortisone injection if needed. Seems like I definitely have a herniated disc - L4, S1 if that makes any sense to any of you. Anyway, lower back left side. That is what is pushing on the nerve and making my leg hurt. So, we moved ahead with the shot. Now I am a woman who has had 2 epidurals (labor related) and 3 amniocenteses and 2 thoracocentesis (remember through me, my uterus, Max's chest cavity and into the space around his lungs). I am NOT a wimp when it comes to these things. I don't like them but I don't freak out either. All I can say is it damn well better work (you don't really know for 3-7 days), because it HURT like a son of a b#@%$ !

The procedure for those into gory details....

They prep you just as they would for a L&D epidural. Except you aren't leaned over you are laying flat on the table. Sterilize the area and inject a little lidocaine to numb you locally. I still can't figure out why they even make this token effort. I mean they are INJECTING near your spine. Really does it matter if you feel the prick on your skin? I think NO! Then with the guidance of an xray (that was reassuring) they shoot in a little dye to make sure they are in the right space. When they have the spot, they inject a combination of lidocaine and cortisone. His first try wasn't quite there, it only pinched a bit in the butt area. They know they have the right spot when you just about break the table from squeezing down. It burns alllllllllllll (and I do mean ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL) the way down the nerve that has been irritated, in other words from my heinie to about the back of my knee. He said that was a good sign that he was in the right spot. I said nothing because I could only think of expletives.
Immediately after you have a bit of relief from the lidocaine, but that wears off after a few hours. Then you get REALLY sore. My entire leg is very tender, but that too is normal. Apparently the cortisone will really start working on the area and bring the inflamation down in 3-7 days. I am hoping for 3. That would be tomorrow if I count the day of the procedure as a day :) Can you tell I've been suffering a bit too long.

Anyway, the next steps are ... Physical Therapy for about a month, one more injection in about a month if I am still suffering. Then just regular self-care stuff. I think if I can get my core stronger and just generally get a little bit fitter, I can win this battle.

Back Pain is Kicking my Ass

Ok, I am over it. It has been almost an ENTIRE month now of lower back pain that has migrated to my hip and upper left rear leg. I now completely understand why people with chronic pain go nuts. I am so tired of not being able to find a comfortable position, or pick up my child without a twinge or crushing pain, or SLEEP. Its the sleep that is killing me I think. I am one of the few mothers of a 5 month old who can say that what is keeping me up at night is NOT my child.

I've tried every remedy I know. Last week I went to my regular doc who immediately uttered the word "surgery" and wanted me to go on prednisone - HIGH doses of prednisone. NO thank you. He wanted me to go for an MRI and see another specialist. No thanks. So I called the place that fixed me last time this reared its ugly head ... hmmmmmm Ella was about, you guessed it, 5 months old. Seems as the short ones approach 20 lbs that's my backs limit!

So I call the Capital Spine and Pain Center or whatever it is called now and got an appointment for today. It went well. We got through the entire appointment without the mention of surgery. It helps they are commited to non-surgical interventions. So, off I went after that appointment, to get an MRI. The doc suspects a herniated disc. I suspect SI joint dysfunction. We'll see who wins tomorrow. I go back tomorrow to have the MRI read and to get an injection of cortisone if it is warranted. I am not sure how I feel about that but as my mom said "if you can handle a needle through your uterus surely you can handle one in your back!" We'll see! But something has got to give because this is kicking my ass big time. I hate it!

Update on Doc Appts & Car Accident!

So update on the boy. We returned to the doctor on last Thursday to find that there is still blood in the stool even after a week on the special formula. So now, we are supposed to try another special (REALLY special - as in order from the factory costs 3xs as much special) formula called Neocate. When we saw Dr. G on Thursday he wanted us to go that day for an abdominal xray to be safe. X-Ray was fine. He seems to be doing better over the weekend and today so far. We'll see.

We are going to see a pediatric GI doc on Tuesday and back to Dr. G on Thursday for another check of things. After all we've been through I am just a little hypervigilant, which is making me a little hyperanxious. So much so that I was in tears on Friday prompting my mom to come visit! She's been here almost every weekend since he came home!

Oh and did I mention my car accident? The one where I ran into my own house? Yeah, that's right. If you are going to have an accident do it right. Make sure you have your home owners policy and your car policy in full effect first! Car is getting fixed now, I should have it back by Friday. House ... well they are dragging their feet a bit, though the contractor promised the estimate would be in State Farm's hands by today. When will work start? I don't know, but I will feel like a total moron until its fixed. Hey the garage trim needed painting anyway, this way it gets replaced! I am trying to not be too hard on myself, I know my mind was just in 1000 other places. I am just lucky I didn't have a headon at 60 miles per hour because I was in a total fog that day!

The extra hours of sunlight should help & the fact that its gonna be near 70 this week! Come on SPRING!

Another Trip to the Doctor

Enjoy a picture of my chunky monkey.

So we took the little man to the doctor yesterday afternoon. He had been restless and his belly felt tight and enlarged to me. He wasn't really crying - not like colic or anything - but he was not himself. I figured ... with all we've been through better to get it checked out, right? So we call Dr. G and he says bring him on in. ITs so good to be friend's w/ your pediatrician.

So we take him in and they check him out. Everything seems ok from the physical exam but Dr. G wanted to test his stool for blood. So .. its positive. Now, I am officially freaked. Dr. G says the typical reason for this is a milk intolerance, so we are gonna start by changing his formula. As if regular formula isn't expensive enough, this stuff costs about twice as much! SMALL price to pay if it does the trick. We have a follow-up visit in a week, so time shall tell.

Oh and he's OVER 12 lbs! Growth is definitely not a concern.

A Mere 3 Weeks Ago

I can't believe that only 3 weeks ago I was still pregnant. Its kind of weird after 9 months of lugging a kid around on the inside to have him on the outside. To be totally honest I didn't know how I would take to a boy. I was so used to being a mama to a girl that I knew it would be different. I did not expect to be so totally in love so quickly. He is the sweetest kid. Doesn't complain much at all, unless he's hungry and in that case he gets quite angry. That kids way of crying so hard that you think they are being tortured -- you know the cry where they almost stop breathing. Thankfully, being second time parents and all, we've figured this out and we try to get the food in him before we have a total crisis :)

So I am in love. In love with his tiny nose, his one dimple that only shows when he practices his smiles which aren't real yet, in love with the way he smells, the way he moans and yawns, everything I tell you...Totally in love. Sappy yes, but all true.

I am truly blessed with the two cutest and sweetest kids on the planet! Now, if the younger would just sleep through the night. This 2, 4 and 6 am stuff is KILLING me & the daddy!

First Doctor's Appointment

Yesterday we had the first doctor appointment for the boy and he looks great. A bit jaundiced but the tests came back in the acceptable range (which is a good thing because unacceptable range would have meant 24 hours in the hospital again)! I don't think mama could have handled that.

Gramma headed home last night after a week here. I miss her! She is such an incredible help! And she does love her grandkids. And they adore her. She'll be back Friday, thank goodness!

No weeks to go ...

The boy has arrived! I am happy and relieved to report that the boy is home as of Friday evening, February 4th! He was born on Tuesday, January 30th at 4:50 am and weighed in at 9lbs, 2.8 ozs. He's 20 1/2 inches long! Not as huge as mom thought but ahead of schedule just as I'd predicted!!

I ended up going into labor at 1 in the morning on the 30th. I had felt weird/off all day at work, but pushed through it thinking I am just REALLY pregnant. Turns out I was moving into the labor phase. Did not stop hubby and I from going out on our date night. Dinner at Outback and a short trip to the bookstore. Finally, I had to throw in the towel and asked to go home. We got home around 10ish and from then on I just felt like crap. No regular contractions, nothing you know OBVIOUS that would have made it easy for me to figure out that I was indeed in labor. So after about 2 - 3 hours of whining and tossing and turning and not sleeping, I woke up the father of my children to say "I think I might be in labor" and he says "what do you want me to do about it?" I am SURE he didn't mean that the way it sounded. Still, he resumed snoring within 20 seconds of my pronouncement. SO, I unilaterally decided to call Dr. J-C. She said you know what considering this pregnancy, let's err on the side of caution and get you checked out. And so ... she sent me to the hospital.

So I wake Hung and say we gotta go. He's like "huh?" Again, how does this not register??? Men! Anyway, a middle of the night trip to Labor & Delivery was NOT our birthing plan. We were supposed to go on Feb 5th at 6 am. We had a plan. Ella would be at daycare! But as I predicted and knew, there was no way in hell I was making it till Feb 5th! So we rouse the little one and say we have to go to the hospital because the baby might be coming. She hopped to much faster than her dad and had a sweet twinkle in her eye.

So we loaded up the car and headed off to Alexandria. They were waiting for me when we arrived and got me all hooked up. The nurses did not seem all that impressed so just as I was convincing myself I wasn't really in labor after all, a nurse comes in and says "we're gonna prep you." Apparently I had what they were calling a "regular" pattern of contractions and Dr. J-C had decided to do the deed. She arrived at the hospital around 4 am and I was in surgery by 4:15. Luckily I had called my mama at 1ish and she immediately came arriving after I had been rolled into the OR. If she had arrived 5 minutes later daddy would have missed it all as he would have to stay with Ella.

Dr. J-C delivered our nw little boy at 4:50 am and he came out screaming. First sigh of relief. I just remember Dr. J-C repeating, "he looks good, Amy. He looks good!" almost as if she didn't believe it herself after all we had been through. He looked great and all of his vitals were strong. He was taken to the NICU for observation. After an entire day of good reports and really no major concerns, the neonatologist decided to throw us for a HUGE loop and decided that he might have a malrotation of his bowel and wanted to transfer him to Georgetown U. Hospital's NICU that night for a surgical consult. We were completely shocked and stunned at the thought of him needing surgery after an entire day of being ok. Needless to say that was not a good night.

They came to get me (still recovering from major surgery mind you) so that I could be with him until he went. I was able to hold him for about 1/2 an hour before the transport team arrived to take him to the Georgetown Neonatal Intensive Care Unit at about midnight. Hung, after being up from 1 am when I awoke him, was now 24 hours later heading to Georgetown to be with Max to make any decisions regarding his care throughout the night. If he did have a bowel obstruction or malrotation, immediate surgery would be necessary. Happily, after 3 days of observation and many, many tests at Georgetown they ruled out surgery. It appears everything is working as it should. He was able to come home yesterday. As soon as I was released from Alexandria we went straight there to get him.

He's home, happy, and very, very mellow. Seems like my theory that all the excitement in the womb will make him less likely to cause trouble on the outside is panning out ... so far! The girl is thrilled with her new brother and the dog even seems to like him.

1 Week To Go!

Believe it or not, at most I have one week to go! This is what we call the FINAL countdown. I swear it feels like I have been pregnant for 20+ months. I had a wonderfully relaxing weekend with my mom and my friend who was in town visiting from the Philly area. We did a whole lot of nothing. We did manage to see a movie, Catch and Release. It was cute, not great but a good way to spend an afternoon.

Otherwise, not a whole lot going on. The boy's room is ready. We (gramma & I) got the letters on the wall Friday night. Its very cute! Now, we just need the boy.

I am working today and Wednesday in the office, from home Tuesday and Thursday and then I am taking Friday off. By Monday this should be all over, or just beginning as they say. Tomorrow I have visits to my ob and my perinatalogist. Last round! Who hooo...

Back to the 5th of February

Amnio came back...Lungs not mature enough yet. So we are back to the 5th. Though my doc says ... you are not going to make it till the 5th, so we'll just bump whoever we need to when you go into labor. GO INTO LABOR. Doesn't this totally defeat the purpose of the SCHEDULED C-section?

I know patience is a virtue and I surely want to wait if he's not ready, but I AM SO READY.

At least this gives me the time for the new diaper bag to arrive ... its scheduled for delivery on Monday. Hopefully, it, unlikely my new kid, will cooperate :)

Baby Boy

Ok, so today I went to see my ob for my routine check and she found me a bit closer to delivery than she anticipated. 3 cm dialated. That and the perinatalogist report that the boy is huge compelled her to try to move my surgery. For now, I am scheduled for Friday (this FRIDAY) at 12 noon. The 26th. Because it is 37 weeks not full-term they do require an amnio, which they sent me for this afternoon. So I will know 100% until tomorrow when those results come back if the lungs are mature enough. If not, I am not sure what they will do.

I didn't think I'd make it to February 5th but FRIDAY seems so soon ;) NEVER satisfied. I am ready. DONE ...

Baby Update

Well, we had our weekly doctor appointments today and all is still well. Not to be excessively graphic but Dr. J-C examined me and found me 1 cm dialated ... as she put it "I can feel the head so you are at least a cm" ... nice! NO wonder I feel like there is a skull resting on my bone down there! Then off to Dr. G who measured not once, not twice, but three times. Apparently this baby boy is BIG. First measurement was putting him at 9 lbs 5 oz give or take 1.5 lbs. Second put him at 8 lbs 4 oz, again give or take 1.5 lbs. STILL big!

He is going to recommend/make clear that delivering him even earlier is a totally viable option. 1 - He is huge, 2 - I've been through enough and am ready to be non-pregnant, and 3 - the steriod injections should have nicely matured his lungs! I am alllllll for that. SO maybe he can talk my OB into a week earlier. We'll see...I am not holding my breath!

Otherwise, much of the same. I am 35 weeks, 2 days and definitely counting. Only 3 weeks and 5 days to go...that is if we don't move the surgery up!

2 More Doc Appointments Down

Yesterday took care of two more doctor's appointments & all is still well. Baby boy still has the fluid in the belly. No more, no less - subjectively speaking. He is still happy as a clam. Dr. G is very happy w/ his nonstress testing and movements. Go baby!

4 weeks, 4 days to go.

Another Doctor Appointment Down...

...only 9 more scheduled appointments to go! Now that we are moving into the final stretch of things, I visit my OB 1x a week and my Perinatologist 1x a week for sonograms and fetal monitoring.

Yesterday, I did my 1/2 hour in the chair at the perinatal center at Alexandria hospital and the baby did fantastically. Sono showed the same. Beautiful lungs and practice breaths, still fluid in the belly. Doctor G. assures me this is nothing to worry about, non life threatening. He said the baby is behaving as if he could care less that the fluid is there. Which is a great thing. Baby boy has been EXTREMELY active and I am still in doubt I will make it to February 5! That's 5 weeks and 4 days! Seeing in my opinion will be believing. I am looking forward to that GIANT sigh of relief. Probably loads of tears of relief too!

So ... a week ago they measured and there is a good reason I feel MORE pregnant now than I did at the end with the girl. She weighed 6 lbs, 15 oz at birth. This guy is already over 7 lbs! TGF C-sections! They will measure every other week to make sure nothing is too out of control. Of course my mom - who delivered an 11 lb, 4 oz and an 11 lb, 14 oz baby has no sympathy! Not really, she feels my pain.

I am ready. When he is ready I am ready! Is it February yet???

8lbs & Banking Cord Blood

8 lbs ... no that is not how much the baby weighs already, that's how much I have gained. I feel like I've gained about 50 lbs. Though in reality 5 lbs is baby, 5lbs is other baby incubating materials. I've really lost 2 lbs. How is that for rationalizing? Trust me, I could care less how much I gain or don't gain, I just want a healthy little one.

I visited Dr. J-C this morning, however she was off to the hospital to deliver a woman who had called at 9:30 am saying she "thought" she was in labor. To be cautious, Doc sent her to the hospital. They checked her ... she was 8cm! So needless to say, she needed to go. So I saw the nurse and everything seems fine.

I head out around 1pm to go to see Dr. Ghidini for the fetal stress test and the weekly sono.

7 weeks from yesterday this will all be over! Or as some might say, it will have only just begun!

We have also decided to bank this baby's cord blood. Many say its a rip-off scheme, but its not something I am willing to risk not doing and then wishing I had. Its about $2000. $1800 after the special discount! But they let you pay it over a year and then its just $125/year to store it. Right now it has been used to treat about 40 different things, cancers, inborn errors of metabolism, etc. Considering all we've been through with this pregnancy and the fact that our children are of mixed race (i.e. hard to find a match in a public bank), I think it is worth it. I hope it is an insurance policy we NEVER have to use.

So yesterday ...

So Yesterday I went for my first fetal stress test & my 30th weekly sonogram. The stress test is really nonstressful. You sit in a recliner. They strap you to a fetal heartrate monitor and a contraction monitor, bring you a glass of juice and ask you to push a button everytime you feel the baby move. Simple enough. If the baby is active it can take as little as 20 minutes. Basically they are just looking to see if the baby has any heart rate anomolies or any issues related to movement. They are also looking to make sure that I am not having regular contractions. So I sit, drink, and push the button for about 1/2 an hour. Baby looks great. Heart rate good and steady. I do great, only 1 contraction which at this point is normal as the old uterus starts practicing. Lucky for me ... it won't need this practice because c-section makes perfect :) Blood pressure is 116/65. Looks great.

Well, each week from here on out after the stressfree stress test I go back to the sonogram room for a scan. Supposed to be brief to measure amniotic fluid & just peek at the baby. Dr. Poggi comes in and looks around. Amniotic fluid is good, lungs are good, but there is seemingly MORE abdominal swelling/fluid than before. Its all getting really subjective now asa the baby's rate of growth increases, so is it more relative to the baby's growth, who knows. But it looks like more. She says she'd feel better if Ghidini looked at it. Ok, fine by me as I love him and I'd feel better that way too.

Still, my heart races a bit because the last time someone looked at a sonogram and left the room to get someone else the word "catastrophic" came up shortly there after. Anyway, in comes Ghidini with his sunny disposition. He takes a look & is honest, says he can't really explain it. Further accumulation would be contrary to his expectations and all literature and that it is definitely not negatively impacting anything. Ok, so why is it there? No idea. Great. SO frustrating.

They say they will, of course, meet with the neonatologists and offer them a complete history of this pregnancy, they will be there at delivery, that he expects at best they'll do little other than an ultrasound of the baby at birth & send him home w/ me at 3 days with close follow-up. At worst, they will want to drain the fluid and still possibly send him home at 3 days. I think they really don't know until he is here. Which brings me to this ...

7 weeks and 4 days! I think I can I think I can I think I can.

Life Is Good & Alessandro Ghidini is my favorite person on the planet...

The fluid is gone!!!!! I just got back from the follow-up sonogram and there were two perfect lungs. Dr. Ghidini indicates that once this resolves it doesn't reappear. Can you say RELIEF? The skin swelling is all gone. The lungs are totally clear. He looks healthy and kicked the hell out of the sonogram probe (I think he was thinking last time a needle poked me after I felt that thing). There is a small pocket of fluid in the belly but that is usually the last to resolve he says and should be gone by the follow-up.

I was SOOOOO Nervous today before the appointment. When asked how I am I am typically a "fine" "doing well" kind of responder. Well, when they asked me today I fessed up to being so nervous I thought I might throw up. I had tears in my eyes before he even put the jelly on my belly! Then I hear "I see lungs" and I say, "LUNGS as in 2" and he says, "Yes, two beautiful lungs!" I was bawling. I couldn't speak. The Doc very funny "where's my stoic mom? This is good news!" I was able to say Thank you and I love you I think. Love love love Dr. Ghindini. He has been a rock through this procedure and he even said I was a great mom/patient. Usually (as we suspected) moms are a bit more freaked out --- understandably so. I tried and was for the most part very zen. Yoga breathing, not stressing, asking good questions but not overly anxious. I figured what good will it do for me to totally freak out? Ok on the inside, I was freaking out.

I don't really believe in miracles ... so I am chalking this up to a miracle assisted by a couple of medical interventions. I go back in 2 weeks for measurements and to make sure everything is as it should be but he said to expect a totally normal outcome!

I am in shock. Happy shock, but shock. We've gone from fatalistic, to measured hope, to pretty much damn we are going to have to get ready for this baby! Thank you to every single one of you who has counseled, listened, hugged, and sent positive vibes our way. I feel like I can breathe for the first time in 6 weeks and 4 days!

Today I am Nervous...

I don't know why (well that's a lie) but the closer I get to sonogram appointments the more anxious and frayed I get. I manage well for most of the time when its off in the distance - a week or more away. Even 3 days + I am ok. Then it gets to be the day before and then the day of and I get very worked up. And the harder I try to be calm, the less calm I am. I am sure it is the lack of control and the not knowing what we'll see that is making me crazy, but it is MAKING ME CRAZY.

I get crabby. I get busy. I try to do too much. To distract myself. I worry. I know that nothing I do can change what we will see ... either more fluid, less fluid, no fluid. It is a balancing act because I want to be prepared for the worst but even when you tell yourself not to hope for total resolution you have that glimmer of hope that they ultrasound will show its all gone! You don't want to hope for that, because you don't want to be disappointed, but in reality you can't help but hope.

This kid is the greatest test of my life. The thing I can't believe is that every break so far is going in our direction. That too has to give us hope. My OB yesterday said at the next appointment in 3 weeks (November 21) we'll schedule my c-section for 38 weeks. As if scheduling it can make it so! She's very into the power of positive thinking. We talked - our appointments are more like counseling sessions now than OB appointments. So she comes in after everything is looking ok - BP is fine, weight is good, measurements are good - and sits and says, "Talk to me." So I talk. She listens. She tells me I am absolutely right to be scared to death but also to have hope. Because there are so many things pointing to the fact that this kid is strong and that he's fighting and that whatever is wrong its not structural, its not chromosomal, its not infectious.

I can't give up. Not just yet. 25 weeks, 4 days ... and COUNTING.

Let the Appointments Resume...

Today at 10:30 am I have my routine 6 month ob appointment. Measure the bump, pee in a cup, take the blood pressure, and generally make sure MOM is relatively healthy.

Tomorrow at lunchtime I am squeezing in a back massage --- Thank you Jenny for fitting me in --- to hopefully give my back some relief. I am not an s-curve today but its still pretty pinched.

Tomorrow at 2 pm we go in for our fluid check-up/sonogram. I sound like a used car going in for an oil change. If the check is good ... we're done for now (for like a week). If little man has more fluid on the lung then we are back to the hospital Friday morning for another thoracocentesis.

Let the games begin again.........

We are on a roll...

Cleaning ladies were here today. The house is all lovely and sparkling clean. I love them. (I know uppity & indulgent but I am pregnant and can't do the stuff I normally do so clean sheets and vacuuming are so nice when someone else did the work!)

Went to Benjamin Moore this morning at 7am - me and a bunch of contractor dudes getting paint.

Lined up a friend to come help daddy move furniture tomorrow night so we have room for the new stuff.

Johanna is taking the white cabinet!

Martin the painter is coming Friday morning to paint our master bedroom and the girls new room - that way we won't be in the house over the weekend with the funk!

that's all.....

Steroid Injections Hurt

I had my 2nd steroid injection this morning to stimulate lung development. No more docs for one week. WHO HOO. I love all of my docs but I am getting tired of seeing them and I am sure they have other patients.

I am optimistic. Things are looking up. I am keeping my hopes in check but am hopeful.

We are having the girlie's new room painted this week - she & I decided on Odessa Pink - a lovely shade of pale rosey pink. I also FINALLY picked a color for our master bedroom - Soft Sand. A sandy color with a hint of pink. I figured a bit more versatile then green and a little less boring than having a 3rd BLUE room though I was tempted. Baby's room will stay yellow and won't be assembled until we are closer to the due date.

Dr. J-C said today that 30 weeks is the magic number. Babies can make it from 24 weeks on - not all but many do make it - but after 30 weeks your chances at good health are much better. That's less than 6 weeks from now so baby-to-be and I will try to behave ourselves. It is very hard for me to slow down. There is always so much to do it seems and with the 4 year old you can only rest so much. Hubby is totally stepping up but still its hard to just not do stuff for myself. I don't know how mama's on bedrest do it. I would lose my mind.

That's about it for now. We are heading out of town this weekend for W&M homecoming and a visit to gramma's house. Hopefully, just relaxing and passing the time. Next week Wednesday OB visit and Thursday another look at the baby via sonogram to see how things are going in there.