Kindergarten here we come

Is this the face that Ella's kindergarten teacher will know and love? Or will that be the mouth that never stops running? I fear she, like me, will have the report card statement "very good student, talks too much in class!" I guess there are worse things than having a million questions. And her questions are not, "why, mom? why why why?" they are more like "Mama, why does that tree have red leaves in the fall and the other trees leaves stay green?" QUESTIONS I AM INCAPABLE of answering. Yesterday she says to me, "Mama, umbrellas were invented in India." I have no idea whether she's right or not (but I'd bet on her rather than against her) but the fact that she knows India exists blows my mind. She also said to the lady cutting her hair, "Hey, did you hear about the .... what's it called mama (mama kept silent since I had NO clue where she was going with it), that big storm, oh Hurricane, in Mexico. It was flooding and the rain was coming down sideways!" Yes, she occassionally sees snipets of the news. The real world, she even heard something about 14 soldiers dying in Iraq the other day and said "Oh mama, that is so sad about those soldiers." Maybe I should shield her but I'd rather talk to her about real life. So she's not totally sheltered and ill-equipped to deal with the real world.

This brings me to a discussion about TV watching by kids on a listserv for Moms from the DC area. There were dozens of emails about how only 1/2 an hour a day should be allowed and on and on. I just flat out disagree. And finally had to post the following message:


I have a 5 year old just about ready to enter kindergarten and TV has always been a part of her life. Definitely more than the 30 minutes a day or whatever is recommended. We don't abuse it and when we tell her that's it and time to go...to bed, to do art, to school, she is extremely cooperative and happy to move on to another activity. We have always been very careful about WHAT she watches, not so much how much she watches. We get comments from our adult friends expressing amazement at her vocabulary and knowledge of even intricate concepts. I know we have played a large part in that by talking to her and doing our best to explain things to her, but I also know that she has learned an appreciation of many things and an understanding of even more from her shows (Baby Einstein, Sesame Street, Little Einstein, etc - think Noggin channel, though she does love Scooby Doo too). Another great resource for exposing your children at a young age to music is the Beethoven's Wig cd set. At first she just loved listening to the singing (they set classical pieces to lyrics that tell the story or history of the piece), now she can hear a classical composition and recognize it and even recall the name of the piece. "Mom this is Fur Elise" "Yes, Ella, it is!" Ultimately it is totally up to individual families to set limits. I also try to think back to when I was a kid and how much TV time we had. It was CONSTANT. And the quality of programming (Tom & Jerry, Flintstones, etc) was not nearly as good as it is today. Still, I made it into one of the most selective colleges in Virginia and have a successful fulfilling career. I guess I could be considered a bit of a slacker mom, but I try not to obsess too much about anything and just do the best job I can do with my children. As long as they are happy, healthy and engaged in what is going on around them, I am ok with that. Maybe I am in denial, but I am ok with that too!

Crab Fest #5

Wow, so we've been having a Crab Fest every year since Ella was born, making this #5. Time does fly. Typically they happen in July near my birthday, but this year with the new baby and all (yes, I am planning on using him as an excuse until he's at least 7) we (meaning me) had a little bit more trouble pulling it together. So ... it happened ... in August. Finally. I pared down the guest list a bit (no offense to anyone intended) and simplified the fixin's because I wanted to keep it simple. We had a great turnout. Absolutely fabulous weather, cool and breezy for August in Virginia. Nothing short of a miracle. No lightning! No electrocutions. Not a drop of rain. Lots of crabs, great friends, two cute kids, and beer. What more could you want for a summer evening.

Next year, maybe, we'll be back to our normal large partying selves. But maybe not as the Max will be mobile and 18 months old!

PS If you see yourself on this page and don't want to be on this page ... let me know, I'll gladly delete you!

Ella Entertaining (or being entertained by) our Guests














The Guys Talking about guy stuff














Current Guests w/ Future Guest in utero :)














Max Enjoying His First Crab Fest














The Sisters!

Our Littlest F1 Fan

I am not pleased with the team hat displayed. If I could find my JPM hat he'd have that on. I think he'll look more handsome in Black & Gray than Red & Yellow!

Separated by 33 years and some change...

I've been informed of the similarities between Max & I, what I hadn't noticed was how much Ella favors my brother. The chin, eyes, & nose...almost identical.

6 Month Check-up

We went for our 6 month check-up with Dr. G yesterday (yes, for those who are counting we were 17 days late!) and all is well!

Max is just shy of 22 lbs. I am not sure how long he is (bad mommy) but I know that his basic stats are as follows:

Weight: 95%
Height: 75%
Head: 80%

That means he's going to be a relatively tall, smart guy :) Or so I like to think. He also got a round of 4 immunizations. Last time (Dr. G swore) that he'd have to have 4!! in one day. His allergy testing so far has come back negative, which frankly shocks me just knowing my own allergy history. So we'll start reintroducing food. 1 at at time for at least 4 days before moving on to the next. We'll see how that goes. He soooooooo wants to eat!

Here's the little guy thinking he can fly.

Training for STJ

He seems to like it! He's working the dimple too don't you think?

I must be getting old. These are my nieces on Hung's side (duh:) This is them at my wedding. They are now almost going to college. The one on the left is a junior in high school, the one on the left a rising senior. Where has the time gone! In the moments when I think my babies will be babies forever (some say Ella is already not a baby but I just ignore them) I think of these kids and how fast their lives have been blowing by!

Cynthia (on the left) wasn't BORN when I met my husband. Aren't they cute?

Little Man

The little man getting ready for a dip. So the little guy is now a little over 6 months old and can do the following:

1 - Eat solid food - ok mushed baby food but still, he likes it. Smacks his lips and everything.

2 - Roll from back to front and front to back. Makes bed time interesting, though he is still a great sleeper.

3 - Make lots of noises ... his favorites seem to be oooooohhhhhhhh and aaaaahhhhhhhhh.

4 - Is very ticklish especially his tummy, sides and chunky leg rolls.

100 Days to Go

and very much counting....

Recovering from Utah

Not the sign I expected to see in Salt Lake City.

I got back from Utah around 11 pm on Thursday night to find my nephew waiting at the airport for me! A nice and funny surprise as he was holding a sign that said, "Aunt Amy, Math Genius" funny stuff. I was totally wiped out but happy to be home.

Ella had been sick from Saturday - Tuesday while I was gone. Running a fever and just generally feeling awful. Just a virus apparently and by the time I got home she was back to her normal self.

I had planned to work Friday but then changed my mind and decided to rest, and then ended up home with both kids as Jeannie was sick. They were great all day but man I was tired. I could barely keep my eyes open all day long. A week of 6am to 7pm workdays followed by dinner and drinks with coworkers makes for a very tired Amy. Oh well.

Yesterday we went to get Max his new carseat. He's too big for the carrier anymore. My back with thank me I am sure. Of course it was missing a piece when we got it out of the box so now we need to take another trip to Buy Buy Baby. We spent this morning laying around and then went to the pool for a little while with both kiddies. Now we are just enjoying a relaxing Sunday afternoon.

St. John Update: The Good and the Bad!

First I am so excited that my great friend, Mari & her husband will be joining us on our trip to STJ this fall over Thanksgiving! YAY! She found a great rate on American and jumped on it. The house is a 4 bedroom so hopefully there will be plenty of room for us to spread out.

Second I am sad to report that Delta SCREWED us. Well, they tried to. They tried to switch the departure on our connection from Thursday, the 15th of November to Friday, the 16th. Laying us OVER more than a day in Atlanta. Uh, no. Especially NO with two little kids. So I called and was able to get us moved to Wednesday, the 14th instead. So the good news is we have an extra day of vacation. The not so good news is that our house is booked up to the minute we arrive, so we are going to have to stay somewhere else.

I spent the day debating St. Thomas for a night vs. heading on over the St. John and spending 1 night at the Westin or Caneel Bay. I settled on a night at the Ritz Carlton on St. Thomas. It doesn't come cheap but after the year we had and the postponement last time, I am ok with living large a little bit for this trip & its only for a night! We got a nice ocean view room with two double beds + a crib, along with free breakfast for 2 and a $100 resort credit along with the room. Not too shabby. When I figured it all out the rate was comparable to other lesser hotels on the island. I will still look to make sure the rate doesn't drop!

All in all I can live with that compromise. We'll get in around 3, head to the Ritz, relax a little by the pool, have a nice dinner and a good sleep, wake up, have breakfast, relax a little more, clean up and head to the water taxi for St. John. We can get into our house at 11 am, so it all will work out just fine! 3 months & 3 weeks to go!

An Investigation

People keep saying how much more Max looks like me than Ella did as a baby. So I decided to do a little side by side comparison. I guess I can see it...Poor Boy!

Birthing a Baby...

My sweet mama just sent me the sweetest funniest email about my birth! For posterity. I am guessing this pic is from my first birthday.

-----Original Message-----

Subject: OOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHHH.............

Vacuum the house, dust the furniture, mop the floor.....energy to burn.....feeling just great....Granny Farris has been picked up from the airport, flew in from Illinois.....supper is done....sitting on the sofa looking through old photo albums....time to go to bed.....big PAPA has gone to work the graveyard shift at the shipyard.........lie down to relax and oh something doesn't feel right in my back..........hummmmmmmmmmmm.....go and tell Granny.....she makes the big phone call to Uncle Homer's house..........he & auntie baby doll arrive.....Ho Ho arrives curb side on Dover Road.......vw car door flung open.......all doors on house he props open too.....ZOOM, ZOOM, ZOOM.......off we go to the hospital in Uncle HO HO's VW............it is about 2 AM....he runs through all of the RED stoplights........car flashers flashing yellow, car horn beeping to warn other motorist we are coming through (however there are few cars on the road at this hour of the morning.........OUCH....I can see the head..........YIKES............MY BACK IS CRACKING IN TWO............OWWWWWWHHHHHH..........HELP ME.............."stop telling me to count the holes in the ceiling tile"................God Damn it, QUIT telling me just to relax my hands...........
OH THIS HURTS............OW THIS REALLY HURTS...............................YIKES.............
SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP ME.......................I NEED TO WALK.........OW............BREATHE
DEEP...........RELAX.............YEAH RIGHT!
help ME PLEASE...............OH GOD I AM GOING TO KILL SOMEBODY................ah la la land finally
they have given me something to relax me ........... I doze in and out ........... soon I hear "IT'S A BABY GIRL" and I am so happy and I know my life is forever changed for the better............
In about 5 minutes from now you were born some 34 years ago....you looked just like a little
indian baby, dark curly hair, dark pink skin, so cute, sooooo big all 11 lb 4 oz of you
I was so lucky ............and the rest is history as you know.......................Love your mother

Birthday Plans

I couldn't resist posting this since its almost my birthday! Good times, good times :)

I am a Crazy Woman!

And ... its almost my birthday.

I have been crazy busy, between the house, the kids, the husband and the job, I am running around like a nutty woman. I leave 1 week from today for SLC, Utah for work, so that is a big part of the insanity. 2 weeks from today it will be all over!

I have been talking with some landscape architects, pool people, etc to see about possibly putting a pool in our side yard and doing something with the overall space. We need a MASTER PLAN! Hung and I are clueless. We know what we don't want, but have no idea what is possible. We would definitely like something au natural (greenery) that would serve as a privacy/noise buffer for the main road. We'll see ... baby steps. So far Town & Country Pools is the front runner.

This weekend is packed with fun. My mama is coming to celebrate my birthday ... so Friday night she arrives. Saturday we have Ella's dance class from 11:30-12:30, rush home change and head out to Summer's bridal shower (whooo hooo Summer) from 2-5. Hung will be taking the kids to our nephew's 4th birthday party from 4-6ish. All home by 6:30 to get ready to go to dinner. Johanna is coming at 7:30 and we are off to DC for dinner at Firefly with KK & her hubby & my mama!

Sunday should be relatively relaxing compared to Saturday. Just plans to go see the new baby in town, Sophie. Hopefully we'll get some pool time in there somewhere! This is why I lobby for our own pool!!

Kick ASS shoes

Went shopping with my partner in crime, KK, on Sunday and came home with these babies. Practical? No. They are actually quite comfy & considering they were more than 50% the regular price of $194 I couldn't resist. Via Spiga. Hot Hot Hot. Can't wait until I have a reason to wear them!

Happy 4th of July!

We had a fun 4th! We started the day by sleeping in until after 8 am! Yay Max and Ella! Then we slowly got up and got ourselves going. We headed out to the Lorton Station parade and block party. FUN! This is not a huge overcrowded parade, just small and simple. Perfect for the little ones. Ella got to see her little gym teachers who were in the parade. She was SO excited! Max napped through most of the parade, even the fire engines, no he doesn't have a hearing problem. We've checked!

After the parade we headed to the town center for free cotton candy, snow cones, and popcicles. After about an hour or so we headed back to the house to rest up for the pool party later in the day.

We headed over to Patty and Brian's around 4 and enjoyed a lazy afternoon of grilled foods, yummy desserts (the best apple pie I've ever eaten - baked by one of the hubbies no less!) and swimming! All in all it was a great day. Until I realized it was almost 9pm and we had to all work the next day!

Ella has gone to Summer Camp

Ok, just for the day, but still. What a grownup girl she has become. How did this happen?

Ms Jeannie is closed this week to take her own family vacation so I signed Ella up for summer camp. Yesterday she was a little timid, but I think she had a great time. They got to paint, play outside, play games, and eat popcicles. When I picked her up I asked her how it was and she said, "well this morning I thought I was going to be a little shy today, but now I think tomorrow is going to be so much fun!" Today they get to go to the MOVIE. I want to go to summer camp!

Today is spirit day & the theme was "Crazy Hair Day!" ... I think we did alright. Well, she could have just rolled out of bed and gone and that would have fit the bill.

Happy 5 Months Max!

Happy 5 Months Max! Actually it was yesterday but who is counting. I don't know why but this picture just cracks me up, I love it! Is it just me or is his hair looking reddish?

Let's see things you can do now...

1 - Eat! You really like to eat. Still on the yucky formula, but just 1 month till you can have real chow. Well, mushed real chow. I think you are gonna love it!

2 - Sleep - You are consistently sleeping from about 8pm - 7 or so in the morning. Daddy and I keep saying you are just too easy.

3 - Grabbing everything in sight

4 - Laughing and Giggling

5 - Trying (unsuccessfully so far) to sit up

6 - Generally just being a cool guy!

Angelina & Max

The other day I was flipping through a trashy magazine. Yes, I am not proud, but I read People. Anyway, so Max is sitting next to me just chilling and I notice he's noticed the picture of Angelina Jolie. And then I notice, he is FLIRTING ... raising his eyebrow, smiling, gazing. So I turn to page to a cracker ad and he kind of frowns. I turn it back to Angelina. He turns back on the charm. We better not let her know or else she'll try to adopt him ;0

MRI & Cortisone to the epidural space

Sounds like fun, no? Well, I got worked in yesterday for an appointment to read my MRI and have a cortisone injection if needed. Seems like I definitely have a herniated disc - L4, S1 if that makes any sense to any of you. Anyway, lower back left side. That is what is pushing on the nerve and making my leg hurt. So, we moved ahead with the shot. Now I am a woman who has had 2 epidurals (labor related) and 3 amniocenteses and 2 thoracocentesis (remember through me, my uterus, Max's chest cavity and into the space around his lungs). I am NOT a wimp when it comes to these things. I don't like them but I don't freak out either. All I can say is it damn well better work (you don't really know for 3-7 days), because it HURT like a son of a b#@%$ !

The procedure for those into gory details....

They prep you just as they would for a L&D epidural. Except you aren't leaned over you are laying flat on the table. Sterilize the area and inject a little lidocaine to numb you locally. I still can't figure out why they even make this token effort. I mean they are INJECTING near your spine. Really does it matter if you feel the prick on your skin? I think NO! Then with the guidance of an xray (that was reassuring) they shoot in a little dye to make sure they are in the right space. When they have the spot, they inject a combination of lidocaine and cortisone. His first try wasn't quite there, it only pinched a bit in the butt area. They know they have the right spot when you just about break the table from squeezing down. It burns alllllllllllll (and I do mean ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL) the way down the nerve that has been irritated, in other words from my heinie to about the back of my knee. He said that was a good sign that he was in the right spot. I said nothing because I could only think of expletives.
Immediately after you have a bit of relief from the lidocaine, but that wears off after a few hours. Then you get REALLY sore. My entire leg is very tender, but that too is normal. Apparently the cortisone will really start working on the area and bring the inflamation down in 3-7 days. I am hoping for 3. That would be tomorrow if I count the day of the procedure as a day :) Can you tell I've been suffering a bit too long.

Anyway, the next steps are ... Physical Therapy for about a month, one more injection in about a month if I am still suffering. Then just regular self-care stuff. I think if I can get my core stronger and just generally get a little bit fitter, I can win this battle.

Back Pain is Kicking my Ass

Ok, I am over it. It has been almost an ENTIRE month now of lower back pain that has migrated to my hip and upper left rear leg. I now completely understand why people with chronic pain go nuts. I am so tired of not being able to find a comfortable position, or pick up my child without a twinge or crushing pain, or SLEEP. Its the sleep that is killing me I think. I am one of the few mothers of a 5 month old who can say that what is keeping me up at night is NOT my child.

I've tried every remedy I know. Last week I went to my regular doc who immediately uttered the word "surgery" and wanted me to go on prednisone - HIGH doses of prednisone. NO thank you. He wanted me to go for an MRI and see another specialist. No thanks. So I called the place that fixed me last time this reared its ugly head ... hmmmmmm Ella was about, you guessed it, 5 months old. Seems as the short ones approach 20 lbs that's my backs limit!

So I call the Capital Spine and Pain Center or whatever it is called now and got an appointment for today. It went well. We got through the entire appointment without the mention of surgery. It helps they are commited to non-surgical interventions. So, off I went after that appointment, to get an MRI. The doc suspects a herniated disc. I suspect SI joint dysfunction. We'll see who wins tomorrow. I go back tomorrow to have the MRI read and to get an injection of cortisone if it is warranted. I am not sure how I feel about that but as my mom said "if you can handle a needle through your uterus surely you can handle one in your back!" We'll see! But something has got to give because this is kicking my ass big time. I hate it!

If you are going to do it, do it with attitude

Is it just me or does the ribbon totally ruin the tough girl attitude she's going for here?

Things that make you say hmmmmmmmm......

A quote from John Travolta blames Virginia Tech, Columbine and all the other tragic school shootings not on the psychos who committed the heinous acts - but on psychiatric drugs. "I still think that if you analyze most of the school shootings, it is not gun control. It is [psychotropic] drugs at the bottom of it," Travolta told W. Excuse me, whhhhattttttt?

I know crazy and I can't get my head around that one. Exactly how are they corelated? Come again? Please explain....

Mad Max

These pictures were just too funny to not post! First he draws you in with a little flirt. Then he gives you the mean face! Love it!

Dancing Girl!

Our little dancer had her first performance this weekend. There was a tap routine, a freestyle and a ballet portion. It was hysterical. Ella is on the upper age end of the class which is for 3-5 year olds. SO FUNNY. I especially liked the one little girl who refused to move. She was on the floor, on her dot, but did not move! At all! Poor girl. Ella had a blast and has asked me at least 1000 times "mama, why did they give me a medal?" I have to admit I am stumped, so I just say "its your reward for being such a good dancer." She doesn't buy it. My little cynic.













Upside Down ...

Don't you love the electric blue costume?

There is Hope for Me & F1 Afterall

And his name is Lewis Hamilton. This is the guy who ultimately replaced my former F1 boyfriend, Juan Montoya :) Yes, my husband is aware that I have boyfriends who I do not personally know and are crazy foxy!

This kid and really I mean kid - he's 22! - is tearing up Formula 1 racing. This is his rookie year. He is #1 in the points, has won 2 races now (he just won the US Gran Prix, which Hung took our nephew Andy to see), and has been on the podium (that's top 3 for those who don't do racing but are still reading this post) in every race this season. Suffice to say, he's kicking ass. ROOKIE. And cute. And he races for McLaren Mercedes, so at least I am staying true to my team. Even though they have that jackass, Alonso racing for them too.

Let's quote a little from his wiki entry "At Bahrain, he became the first F1 driver to finish in the top three in his first three F1 championship races, a record he subsequently extended to his first seven races. Finishing second in Spain made Hamilton the youngest driver ever to lead the drivers' championship. By winning a Grand Prix at his sixth attempt in Canada, Hamilton became the fourth youngest Grand Prix winner, and the first driver since Juan Pablo Montoya in 2001 to win a race in his first season. His second win, at Indianapolis, marked the first time in F1 history that a rookie driver took two consecutive poles and race victories."

Yes, you can note the reference to my former boyfriend, Juan :)

Max's New Bumbo Seat

Ok, so the Bumbo seat didn't exist (or if they did I certainly didn't know about them) when Ella was a babe. Perfect for babies who can't sit themselves up but are able to hold up their heads.

This is Max making the face that goes with the sound that no matter how hard I try I can't duplicate. That's our current game. He makes a noise, I copy, he laughs. He laughs a little harder when he makes this noise, I think he's taunting me thinking "jeez, mom its not that hard!"

A list of names I have for Max:

Moose

Mussolini (yes I know that is wrong)

Mr. Man

Little Man

Big Man

Muscles

Mad Max

Maxwell Smart (when he does something particularly intelligent)

I know ... I need a new hobby!

Yet Another St. John Link

Check out my new link to St. John Spice's (a great store on STJ) Cruz Bay Ferry dock webcam. This way I can sit and dream I am the one getting off the ferry boat and sinking my toes in the STJ sand!

Virginia Wine Lovers ... who can read

Check out this very fun, light mystery, The Merlot Murders. You can find it at amazon.com. I picked my copy up at the Swedenburg Winery out around Middleburg. (The owners of Swedenburg Winery helped her with the technicalities of winemaking).

I just ordered her 2nd Wine Country Mystery, The Chardonnay Charade.

A 4 Month Check-Up

Mr. Max officially turned 4 months on May 30th, but just yesterday we went in for our official 4 month check-up.

First the stats: (he is a big boy!)

Height: 25 1/2 in.

Weight: 18 lbs, 13 oz.

Head: 17 1/4 in.

Guess what, he's a growing beautifully. Just as he should. As if on cue, as Max reaches out and grabs my hand, Dr. G says "I was just going to ask if he's reaching and grabbing" CHECK. And is he social? Again, on cue Max gets a big grin and goes "ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" in that baby language that only mama understands :)

He's doing everything he should be doing. Trying like hell to sit up. If you put him in the reclining seat he uses his abs (mom should try that too) to pull himself upright. Trying like hell to roll over. He gets twisted but just can't manage to throw that chunky thigh over. He tries, mom helps. I let him grab my hand and over he pulls. Popping his head up with a look that says "WOW, look at this perspective!"

My concerns raised at this appointment.

1. Still has flaky scalp & excema (just like his sis). Dr. G. says if it doesn't bother me it won't bother Max. The best we can do is make sure we lube him up really well after each bath.

2. There is a little lump on the back of his head. Guess what, there are lymph nodes in the back of your head. Did you know this? I did not. Related to his scalp dryness. Nothing to worry about.

3. He SLEEPS a lot. Dr. G. says (who has a newborn himself) and you are complaining about this!!! Me: "Not complaining just concerned." He says if we are getting 5-6 good waking active hours than he's just fine. So hip hip hooray the sleeping from 8pm till 6-7 am is nothing to worry about! We love that! We have decided that he's the chillest baby ever and we will definitely keep him.

Over our trip to VA Beach, Hung finally broke it to me that you can in fact lay him down awake and he will in fact (when tired) insert the thumb and fall asleep without any crying. I was like whattttttt???? How did you discover this? He says, "try it" we do and low and behold baby sleeps. The girl child NEVER did that! NEVER EVER EVER. I love her just the same ... but man a chilled, comfy, easy sleeping baby is a great thing. I am trying not to brag here, but those of you who've been along for the entire ride know that I EARNED THIS with my insane pregnancy! I think I will take a moment to breathe.

A Comparison ... at 4ish months.

So some similarities:
Cute, Huge EYES, Same nose, both droolers, Same chin.

Differences:
Her face is rounder, his is longer. She has a lower hairline.

We are back from the beach!

We returned Friday from a week at the beach. Other than getting there and getting home (which was much easier) it was a great trip. Max does NOT like his carseat. Ok, well he doesn't like it after about the 2nd hour. Below are some of my favorite pictures from the beach...


Daddy & his girl walking on the beach











Gramma & Ella at Putt-Putt

Mama & Ella goofing off at Ocean Eddy's

Max on the receiving end of some smooching.

BURIED, for the 100th time

When's the next trip??? Not soon enough. Next up we have Hung's trip to Indy for the F1 race. I am opting out this year, and nephew Andy is stepping in. I mean now that Juan Pablo is in Nascar is there any reason to go. NO! Gram is coming to help me with the kids for the long weekend. I go to UTAH for my conference at the end of July. Who hooo. Then we have just a couple of months to wait until STJ 07! Is it November yet?

Virginia Beach Here We Come

Just another day to go and we are off to the beach. Since the girl will be starting kindergarten this fall our normal VA Beach week will not work so we traded for Memorial Day week. We leave Friday and I can't wait. After today, I am not back in the office until June 4th. I am working from home tomorrow tying up loose ends, but that's it.

Our last trip was to the beach the week we found out Max had hydrops. It was not the most relaxing week ever I must say. It did help at the time, but we are looking forward to this trip big time. Gramma will be joining us Friday through Wednesday, so that will be very nice. Its so nice to be right there on the board walk and at the beach. Hopefully there will be lots going on for the holiday weekend!

Max has finally kicked the bugs butt and is on the mend. He was pretty much down from last Wednesday afternoon until Monday. He's a trooper.

I'll be back ... in JUNE!

Anxiety, Angst, and Worry...

So I am beginning to wonder if I'll ever be the same again. Maybe just maybe getting it all out will help me let go. I feel like I will never be the same person I was prior to September 18, 2006. The day the sonogram showed problems for Max. In my mind I thought that once he was here every worry would dissolve into sweet relief. Well, that hasn't exactly happened.

Every day I fight a feeling of living on borrowed time with him. I have no rational basis for this notion or feeling in my soul, but it is there. It is unsettling. I worry. I worry. I worry. I have never in my life been medicated for anything long term, aside from the routine meds that go along with a surgical procedure, we're talking NADA. I am beginning to think I may need an anti-anxiety drug. Something to stop the cycle that starts in my head and won't stop. Its like OCD of the thought process.

Every minute with him seems precious. Every smile, every sigh seems divine. I know he is ok. I know he is meant to be. I know in my heart he will be ok. My mind is struggling to accept it. I feel guilty for even thinking some of the thoughts I think. Then I realize I am not able to change how I think and feel. He is the sweetest most laid back mellow baby I've ever had the pleasure to know. Its like he has been through the bad and he's not sweating the small stuff. He smiles, he flirts, he raises his little eyebrows and teases his mama. I love him. To the core of my soul, I love him. I worried that I would never have enough love in me to share between my first child and my second and what I know now is there is always room. Your heart grows. There is room for love and worry and angst and a capacity to stress over their future like nothing you can imagine.

New Flip-Flops

Yes, I have a problem. I found these during our visit to Urbanna to visit Gramma for mother's day. When I got home I googled the brand and now have 4 more pairs (varying designs) on their way. I LOVE flip-flops and these are quite possibly the most comfy pair I've ever owned.

I didn't realize that they are even a local Company, based out of Richmond. Tidewater Sandals.

Birthday Girl

It is official and we had the party to prove it :) Ella is FIVE! Wow, time does fly. We had quite the turnout yesterday for the party. I think everyone had a great time. Dad grilled, everyone ate lots and then had CAKE! 5 minutes after cake Ella annouced "its time for Presents!" So we opened presents and then enjoyed playing with the motherload! WOW! Lots of cool things!



The Cake was a little melty. Hey at least there was cake. When I arrived at the bakery to pick it up, first I got "Oh you wanted this by 9!" UH, yeah. That's why I wrote 9. "Just give us 5 minutes." Ten minutes later I return to see a 1/2 frosted cake. She says "This one is 1/2 chocolate and 1/2 white cake, is that what you wanted?" Actually, no, I wanted what I actually ordered which is on the little piece of paper right there in front of you but I respond "It doesn't matter I just need a CAKE!"


Flowers from me to Ella, a tradition 5 years strong!

I blinked and she's 5!

The days can be long but the years go by so quickly. It seems that I blinked and my baby girl is no longer a baby. Just 5 years ago this little one was safely tucked away in my tummy. I think at about this time I was wrapping things up at work, putting the final touches on her room, trying to relax and completely CLUELESS about what the future as a parent would bring.

She is still my single greatest accomplishment (Her brother will have to prove himself still :) She's not perfect, but she would be way more boring if she was. In 5 short years I have learned what it really means to have a selfless kind of love and devotion. Sure, she frustrates the HELL out of us at times (remind me sometime to fill you in about the "painting" in the bathroom with soap) but she is completely her own. 100% unique and such an incredible addition to our lives.

So as she enters her 5th year of life, I wanted to let her know who she is now.

She is beautiful, inside and out. She is funny. She has the best belly laugh/giggle I have ever heard and nothing delights us more than to hear it. She is incredibly smart, sometimes too smart for her own good. She is mischievous, though she might argue she's just creative. She is loving. She is innocent. She can be lazy. She can be incredibly outgoing saying to a gentleman on the street "Hello, Mister!" much to his shock. She can be very shy. She is kind. She is confounded by cruelty.

She loves apples, vietnamese noodles and especially the marinated shredded carrots, her gramma, chocolate milk, pistachios, the playground, Gramma, Mrs. Jeannie, Butterdog, all other animals, Max (though she won't always admit it), Johanna, did I mention GRAMMA, and her mom and dad!

My only goal in life is to get her to adulthood, knowing who she is and what she wants. Her dad would laugh now and say that that goal has already been accomplished. Raising a daughter is an amazing opportunity to tell someone everything you wish you knew, heard, & believed when you were younger and not so sure of yourself.

A Belly Laugh

Tonight courtesy of his sister, Max treated us to his first FULL ON belly laugh/giggle. She was just being kookie and he was watching her every move. She moved closer and he smiled huge. She moved back, he laughed. She moved closer again and he laughed so hard I thought he was going to pass out!

It was an awesome feeling. He is a very loud laugher. I have a premonition of him being quite a handful in about 6 months when he figures out mobility.

These kids ROCK! Ella is just an amazingly sweet, beautiful & sensitive girl and Max is the very definition of mellow. He hardly cries! I plan to keep them both!

Max is now 3 months old (as of yesterday) and Ella will be 5 this weekend! My goodness where does time go. I thought it accelerated after her birth, but his arrival has sent it all into warp speed. If I blink and he's 5 I will cry.

I have always enjoyed being Ella's mom, but I am really trying to slow down and savor every moment since I know I am SOOOOOOOO done. Did I mention DONE!?!? I hope my kids never think I love them any less because I am so adamant that I want no more, I couldn't love them more ... its just that mama can't handle another pregnancy.

I went for my own annual gyn check-up today and the nurse said "your chart is so heavy we're gonna have to put some of it in storage!" She was joking. I think.