St. John Trip Report Day 2

Thursday, November 15th: Breakfast, Pool at the Ritz, Bye Bye STT, Hello Hale Lani and an Evening in the Pool

Good Morning Beautiful Pool!



We were up early & into the pool to enjoy our last morning at the Ritz. Mini Flip-Flop was dying to hit the pool again so we headed there first thing. A very nice way to start the morning. After a couple hours of floating and playing we headed back to the room to clean up and get ready for breakfast. Breakfast at Bleuwater was also included with our package and was wonderful. The nicest breakfast buffet (you could also order off the menu) I have seen. Omelets to order, a full pastry spread, bacon, mini egg soufflés, fresh cheeses meats and caviar, fresh fruit and juices and rich, dark coffee. YUM!

A little nap before we go. Don't you love the chubby toes!



Bye Bye Ritz Carlton







I arranged for Dohm's to meet us at 11:15. We grabbed a cab to the National Park dock in Red Hook (not to be confused with the Red Hook dock or the Water Taxi dock!). Dohm's was there waiting as we pulled up and we enjoyed a quick, VERY quick, 15 minutes over to St. John. With our 5 big bags of luggage, 3 carry-ons, and the 5 of us, I was GLAD I had arranged Dohm's. We could have done it on the regular ferry, but it would have been a painful process. The great thing about Dohm's is that you pull up and they are waiting for you. You load up and you go. No waiting. No fuss. There is a bad thing about Dohm's too ... but you'll have to wait until the last day for that.



Bye St. Thomas



Hello St. John!



So....15 minutes across the water and we are at the National Park dock in Cruz Bay.



I put in the call to Destination St. John on our way over and Leslie was there to meet us when we arrived. Everything was working like clockwork. DSJ is always great! We were so excited to get up to the house and get settled. Leslie was able to fit us and our luggage in her rodeo and we were off to Conrad Sutton's to get our jeep liberty. I had contacted Carmen a few weeks early to see if we'd be able to pick up our jeep a bit early and it was there ready and waiting. I know there are varied opinions of Conrad's operation but I love them.

Settled into our jeep, we follow Leslie up to Hale Lani, very eager to see what it would be like. In less than 1 hour we had gone from the Ritz on STT to being on our way to our home away from home for the next week or so.

Hale Lani is a great house. Not luxury but very comfortable and nice. Like home. Those of you who followed our saga know that I was slightly (ok, majorly) indecisive about our house. We started with Le Virage, changed to Drake's Outlook, and finally intimidated by the driveway at Drake's, switched to Hale Lani. Thanks to Destination St. John for putting up with me!

Hale Lani is not the most or least expensive place we've stayed, but it is the only one I would ever consider staying at again. It is a 4 bedroom, 3.5 bath house with amazing views. It is located on Maria's Bluff off of Great Cruz Bay Road (the first right after the Westin, and 6 speed bumps later). Approximately 10 minutes from downtown Cruz Bay, but a world away!

We pull up the steep but very manageable driveway behind Leslie and enter the house as the cleaning ladies are finishing up. The house far exceeds my expectations and the photos on the website just don't do it justice.



This house is all about the views!



I was amazed that so close to Cruz Bay we had a completely unspoiled view. Not another house to be seen! Upstairs you can enter the house through one of two doors.

One leads into a entry foyer with a 1/2 bath, laundry closet and sitting area.



The other entry is directly into the open air lanai and pool deck and amazing views. The pool is down 3 steps and is very adequate for 6 adults and kids.



To the right of this entrance is the master bedroom we chose for its privacy and quietness.



Our View



Our room had a king (two twins connected which in the interest of full disclosure were a little uneven but still quite comfy), a private bathroom, outdoor shower, huge walkthrough closet and this other little cubby of a room that was PERFECT for the baby boy's crib.



If you go to the left upon entering the lanai you enter the living/kitchen/dining area. This area was way larger than I had imagined from pictures, with sliding glass doors and screens on three sides.

The Living Area



The View



The Kitchen



The bedrooms are all air conditioned the main living areas are not but enjoyed amazing breezes. There are ceiling fans throughout, 3 in the living area and at least 1 in each bedroom. The kitchen was well equipped, and opened to the living room. Walking through the main living area you exit onto the wraparound deck to the other real master bedroom.



This room went to the Barbos, it had almost the identical layout of the other master but was less private and near the drive. The views were AMAZING but I imagined it would get full morning sun and with the baby I wanted quieter and darker in hopes he would sleep in (HA!). Also, the extra nook in this room has a built in desk making it unusable as a makeshift nursery. You are welcome, Barbos! They deserved it & appreciated it very much.

From the driveway, there is a curved stairway to the lower two bedrooms.



This area of the house seems to be relatively recently completed. Very clean, very nice details, tons of storage. Nothing fancy, but perfect for Gram and the Mini Flip-Flop and Jo when she arrives later in the week. I would not put little kids down there by themselves or two couples. One room has a very comfy queen bed & is connected to the other bedroom by a bathroom on one side and a pocket door on the other twin bedded room.



I would not put two couples down there as they would not have great privacy. Still, for what it was it was very nice.

The twin room



I loved the house. I could not believe the views especially considering we were so close to town. We've stayed in Chocolate Hole (lower and hillside) and Fish bay in the past and I was a bit concerned we would be too close to the activity, but I was pleasantly surprised to find we could not see a single solitary house ... unless you count the one on the private island across the sea. If no tan lines homes are on your list, I would definitely say Hale Lani is a safe bet. We also were relieved to have no construction noise at all.

The drawbacks of the house or things I would like to see changed....

1. BETTER pool deck furniture. There was only 1 decent lounge chair on the pool deck, along with 3 or 4 cheap plastic table chairs.
2. Better décor in the 2nd master we stayed in (but only because I am hard to please in this area).
3. New towels that are more cushy and absorbent.

That's it. I can't think of another thing I would change.

Great things about the house...
1. Absolutely private.
2. Amazing unobstructed views all the way to St. Thomas and beautiful sunsets.
3. Well equipped kitchen.
4. Very open and comfortable living. Even though the main living space wasn't air conditioned the fans and breezes made it very comfy.

I was told that this house is owned by someone who owns other rental properties on the island, but that this has been held back off the rental market as his private retreat. I can completely see why. However due to illness in the family it is now being rented to visitors. It is a great addition to the rental market and I was so relieved that it was such an awesome find!

So back to our first day on STJ! It was now about 1 pm and we began to unpack and settle in. I was also waiting for Christy's to show up with our rented baby paraphernalia. I had arranged to have a full crib, exersaucer and car seat delivered. The boy enjoying his exersaucer, he's not compeltely nekked, I swear. Not yet, anyway!



By 2 pm the crib was in place and Mr. Flip-Flop was installing the car seat for the baby boy. Ahhhhhhhhh...................2nd deep breath. A quick round of unpacking ...

You thought I was kidding about the flip-flops, I know its an illness but at least they don't weigh much. Note not a SINGLE pair of practical shoes for the planned Ram's Head hike ... stay tuned for that one.



Before the Barbos arrived around 4pm I wanted to hit the store and stock the house, so Gram and I headed off to Starfish leaving behind a napping boy and the mini Flip-Flop. $269 later we headed back to the house! I did take a peek into the new Gourmet Starfish and was impressed! They had most everything I could think of!





My typical routine is to stock up at Dolphin or Starfish and then supplement with Pine Peace through the week. I KNOW we overpaid for lots of things but its vacation. Who really cares?! Back to the house, groceries sorted out and its time to head to the ferry dock and meet the Barbos, take them to Conrad's and pick up their jeep. Back at the house, they dropped their things, we mixed a few rum & cokes & hit the pool as the sun began to set on our first day.

A Beverage



Our First STJ Sunset



Happy Girls



At Starfish, I picked up dinner supplies and Mr. Flip-Flop got to work at the grill. My husband is the grill master.

Beef, it's what's for dinner!



He can't cook much but my GOD the man can grill a mean steak. Working with limited resources and a very hot grill, he fired some lovely meat for us all, with Jim & Mini Flip supervising and providing lighting!



MMMMMMmmmmmm Meat



Steaks, baked potatoes, fresh salad and French bread with butter and garlic.



(Crappy picture but you get the idea)

Bellies full we all settled in for our first nights sleep!

Night night



Tomorrow: Maho, in Search of Mosquito Bites, Jo arrives & Candi's BBQ

St. John Trip Report Day 1

Day 1: Getting to STT, Our First Night at the Ritz Carlton & Dinner at Bleuwater

The Cast of Characters:

Flip-flop - Hi, that's me! Completely OBSESSED with STJ in general and this trip in particular, after a year long postponement to ensure the healthy and happy delivery of the baby boy.

Mr. Flip-Flop - That's my husband, also known as the pack mule. Nice guy who puts up with me, almost gets STJ, and just wants to dive & relax thank you!

Mini Flip-Flop - Our 5 year old daughter, happily taking her 2nd trip to St. John (boy is she being ruined for any future husband)

The Baby Boy - our almost 10 month old baby boy who a year ago prevented our planned trip to STJ, who we discovered was quite a ham on this trip. Every time we aimed the camera at him, he smiled. Totally understands the concept of just being still. Totally even worth missing a trip to STJ. Really. I swear!

Gram - My mom, joining us for her first real trip to STJ after 2 trips to STT & 1 day trip to STJ, also celebrating her Birthday on Thanksgiving day.

Jo - Our friend and longtime sitter of Ella, joining us for 5 days to help with the kids.

Barbo - One of my best friends for over 10 years, we met in college when I hired her to work Conferences. We took a trip without any kids back in '03, this was for sure different.

Jim - aka Mr. Barbo aka the perpetual smiler, I don't think he ever stopped smiling even in his sleep! Newbie to STJ, instantly got it.

Where:
The Ritz Carlton, STT (Day 1)
Villa Hale Lani, Maria Bluff, STJ (Day 2-on)

Wednesday, November 14th - Travel Day & Our First Night on St. Thomas

I can't believe the time has finally come. We have a 6:25 am flight out of Dulles and the 3 am alarm clock comes SO early. Nothing like a trip to STJ to get you moving. I actually slept because I was exhausted from a 3 day trip to Denver the week prior and a bad head cold I was nursing.

Out of bed by 4 and into the shower. Why I shower before a travel day from hell I don't know! Sympathy for the other sardines in the plane I suppose. Door to door to St. Thomas takes us 12 hours. There are no direct flights.

Our minivan cab arrived ON TIME (Thank you Springfield Yellow Cab) and we were on our way to the airport by 4 am. I always forget that at 4 am, even in the DC metro area, there is NO traffic. The 45 minute ride I expected to the airport in actuality took a grand total of 30 minutes. Bags are curb-checked by 4:45 am.



Having checked-in online the day prior, we were off to security. We breezed through with no problems. Even with all the kid paraphernalia! We could have taken a slightly later flight to Atlanta, but knowing the Atlanta airport & my luck, I went for the longest layover I could find.

When I approached the gate agent for a gate check of the stroller she very nicely gave us an entire row - 6 seats across for the 4 of us. Thank you, nice gate agent lady. Take off was on time. The baby boy passed out just before take-off and was awake for only the last 30 minutes of the flight.



Once on the ground in Atlanta, we made our way from Terminal B to Terminal A via the train and found our gate.

Playtime anyone?



Realizing we had 2 hours to burn, Flip-Flop made way to the most efficient Starbucks I have EVER seen in my life, let alone at an airport. I am not a fan of the Atlanta airport, as you can tell, but I will say the people working there were very nice. Every single person was extremely pleasant. Perhaps it was because I was already in island mode and the "good mornings" and "please" and "thank yous" were freely flowing. Not that I am typically rude, but I was in an ESSPECIALLY good mood!

So we waited, with the entire, very tall Notre Dame basketball team (on the way to STT for a tournament), for our flight to STT. Scheduled to depart at 10:15 am, we actually departed about 30 minutes later. After we were all boarded & strapped in, they announced that oh by the way we were waiting for the third pilot! Information I could have used before boarding the plane with the baby boy.

Oh well, it didn't take too long and soon baby boy had passed out AGAIN and we were airborne. Kid karma was working very well. He was awake for probably the last hour or so of the flight, for the better part of the time a really nice guy with the Notre Dame team smiled and played with him. The Mini Flip-Flop slept the entire flight, waking only as we approached landing to sing "you put da lime in da coconut and drink 'em bod up" and "ole ole ole ole I'm feeling hot hot hot" (perhaps she listened to my STJ 07 ipod mix a bit too much)! All in all the flight was seamless and by 3 pm we were on the ground at the STT airport.

I grabbed my rum punch on the way through, left the Mr. at baggage claim and headed to the Ritz Carlton "Lounge" (I put this in quotes because it's not so much a lounge as a little tiny room with a desk, two fridges full of water (nice) and 3 or 4 chairs). Nothing fancy but it is air conditioned & it served its purpose, before our luggage came off the conveyor we were checked in with room keys in hand.

I decided to spend our first night on STT when Delta unceremoniously cancelled all Thursday flights to STT, thus giving us the option of flying a day early (shockingly my choice!) or flying out a day later (no way I am missing a day voluntarily)! I booked the Ritz knowing it was expensive, but also knowing this trip was a long time coming, we would have a hell of a travel day & wanting to be as comfortable as possible for our first night on STT. It was a plan that was coming together nicely.

I did manage to find a package deal that included $100 food and beverage credit and breakfast. Not as bad as it could have been. I asked & received a private taxi to Red Hook. Our driver, Big Steve, seeing that the waterfront was a mess took us up and around to get over to that side of the island. Our detour gave us an impressive view of the harbor. 7 ships were in! I was glad we were not doing any shopping that day.



40 minutes later we were being handed rum punches at the Ritz. As soon as you arrive at the Ritz Carlton they bring you a cold wash cloth and then hand you a rum-less punch. Not to worry, there is a bell man waiting with a bottle of Cruzan to be added to your taste.



While still enjoying our punch, we were taken via golf cart straight to our room. Our luggage followed in its own golf cart. We do not follow the carry-on only plan. We each had a carry-on (except the baby boy) & 5 checked bags total. It could have been better, it could have been worse. Tell me this. Even when you pack weeks, even months in advance, how how how do you manage to forget things like swim cover-ups and shoes for hiking? But of course I didn't forget mounds of flip-flops!

Back to the Ritz. Our room was very nice. Ocean front with a huge patio with 2 chairs and a table and a lounge chair. Big bathroom. Two double beds and the crib was there ready to go. Score 1 for the Ritz. The fridge was also in place. Score 2. Our mantra became "You pay more but you get more".





I completely 100% understand the desire to have just a bed to sleep in and doing it on the cheap. I am a big fan of 5 star at 2-3 star pricing and am a dogged travel bargin hunter. Trust me, I get it. I stayed in a hostel in the red light district of San Francisco and was not even in college anymore! I get it. But with Gram and two kids along, all I wanted was to not have to worry about anything. And we didn't have to worry about a thing. The staff was amazing! "My Pleasure" was their mantra and it made my mantra (remember "you pay more but you get more!") all the easier to remember!

Back to our arrival day... within seconds of settling into our room, the mini Flip-Flop says, "I want POOL!" Not a pool or the pool, my normally charming and articulate kindergarden had gone Neanderthal "WANT POOL!" Moments later we are in our bathing suits and on our way. The mini flip-flop was set! The Ritz is older, but quite beautiful with lovely manicured grounds. It truly is a beautiful setting & exactly what I wanted for the first night. The pool is the centerpiece of the property with an awesome, infinity edged view over to STJ.



A girl with a firm grasp on the good life



The beach is small but clean with tons of beach chairs. There is a small wooden boardwalk that goes down from the pool all along the beachfront to the water activities area. Mini Flip bribed daddy into taking her down to the beach and thus the first sandcastle of the trip was constructed. We were all in heaven. I floated around gazing across the water at the island where I'd be none too soon! I took my first deep breath of the trip! We watched the sunset begin with just a sliver of moon on the horizon.



Someone is getting sleepy



Seriously girl, you need to get out of the pool!



After a while in the pool we were off to clean up, feed the kiddos & get them and Gram settled in for the night so Mr. Flip-Flop and I could go enjoy our dinner at Bleuwater, the Ritz's higher end restaurant. I ordered room service for the ladies ($6.50 peanut butter & jelly with fries for the mini F-F and the $18 Ritz Burger for the Gram, no room service for the baby boy as he was more than happy with his bottle). All were pleased with their meals. By 8 pm they were all in pjs and ready for bed & Mr. Flip-Flop and I were off to dinner.

Bleuwater Restaurant



Dinner was interesting. I don't mean that in a good way or a bad way, I just mean it exactly as it sounds. Interesting. The food was good, not great, but very good. I was happy that it was being subsidized by our F&B credit. Didn't cover it, but did put a large dent in it. The service was outstanding, the wait staff was plentiful, genuine and on top of things. The chef is a bit into (obsessed might not be an exaggeration) foam. Yes, foam. Like the stuff you get on the top of your drink at Starbucks. There was flavored foam on just about everything. It was a little strange. I lie, it was a lot strange. At first, it was just slightly odd, but by the end of the meal Mr. Flip-Flop and I were actually giggling about it. Mr. Flip-Flop even joked, "I wonder if I order something that traditionally comes with foam will it come without it? Cappuccino sir, no foam! Or if it would come with SPECTACULAR foam." We decided not to find out!



Dinner Recap: We started with an amuse-bouche from the Chef (who I should not make fun of) of duck prosciutto with pickled cherry. This was actually quite delicious & involved no foam that I can remember. Mr. Flip-Flop chose the seared scallop appetizer with green pea puree and bacon.



While I picked the kobe beef with uni tempura.



Both were very good. For our entrees, I chose the prawn special hong kong style with a soy vinaigrette, puffed rice (which was very crunchy, like a clump of rice krispies) and porcini mushrooms (yum).



The shrimp was good but it was a bit on the salty side, I blame the foam. Mr. Flip-Flop chose the pan seared ahi with sweet potato chips and shaved cucumber salad.



Also, good, but foamy. I am not JOKING.

For dessert we chose the Donuts, mostly out of curiosity and to see if there would be foam. Chocolate, caramel and cinnamon ... yummy, but not Krispy Kremes!



The other dessert choices were varied and interesting: goat cheese ice cream (?), Banana torte, and a chocolate dessert (I saw on another table) with 5 pots of different chocolate mousse looking stuff - kahlua, white pane cotta, milk chocolate, dark chocolate and hot honey chocolate (I would have picked this but hubby was curious about the donuts).

Then after a short walk on the beach and around the property we headed back to the room for sleep.



Only 1 sleep left till St. John. Though I long to be on St. John this was a very nice way to ease into our vacation & avoid an entire day of hell travel. I thought it would be painful to be so close but not there, but it was really ok!

Tomorrow: Off to STJ, Hale Lani, Stocking up & the Barbos arrive!

We have returned

Here are Ella & Max at Island Blues on the east end of St. John. We are all back, we are all in one piece. Flip-Flop mom is sifting through the mountain of laundry and crap that we returned with ... but its all ok. Our 10 day trip to STJ was a success & I can't wait to go back. I am thinking June '09.

Rules of Parenting

Maybe I am asking for this to bite me in the ass, but as far as I can tell there are two basic rules that work in parenting:

1. Be Consistent - both parents!
2. Familiarize yourself with & often use the word "NO".

Ella expects no as often as she does yes. When did parents get so afraid of it. It doesn't make a kid feel bad, it allows them to learn rational boundaries. NO is a part of her life. They might as well get used to it now. We are not afraid of it. And STAND your ground. If you say no, mean no. If you plan to threaten to thrown away all of the kid's toys, be prepared to do so. Once they figure out you are full of hot air, their behavior will change accordingly.

This leads me to a funny moment with Ella. Her dad told her to pick up her toys that were EVERYWHERE and she started to but then in a whiney voice said, "why won't you help me?" He, busy with other stuff, said, "Because you made the mess, and I am doing something right now." She said, "Then I am not doing it!" So he said, "Well, maybe you have too many toys then. If you don't care enough about your toys to put them away we will just have to bag them up and give them away to someone who would love to have them." To which she retorted, "I am telling my gramma!"

Oh ... my ... that was the wrong thing to say :) We nicely and calmly together explained to her that she was welcome to tell gramma, in fact, we would dial the phone for her, but that while she would get a soft shoulder and a sympathetic ear, the toys would still be gone. To which she said, "OK OK FINE!" and began to gather them all up. Just as they will try to call your bluff, you MUST call theirs. It is the only way they learn.

Urbanna Oyster Festival ... Catching up!

Sorry I am so behind in blogging. Life has been busy. I have been out of town more than I have been in town. Just returned from Denver for a business trip on Friday night and I am heading out again on Wednesday morning for St. John, FINALLY!

In the middle of all of that, we went to Urbanna for the 50th annual Urbanna Oyster Festival. I've been attending these since I was 4 years old & Ella's been to every one since she was born. Honestly, we have been so busy that if this wasn't the 50th we probably would have skippped it. We ended up having a GREAT time and I am glad we went!

Family minus Ella who was not leaving gramma's side for no stinkin' picture

















Ella hitching a ride with the Daddy

























The Creek















Surgically Attached?













I swear he can read and is thinking, "mama, do you see that sign!"

A Halloween First

We were invited to the neighborhood next to ours this evening to trick or treat and come to an open house. Ella catches the bus every morning at this neighborhood. As we live right on a main road, not very trick or treat conducive, we were grateful and happy to take a quick 3 minute walk down there to trick or treat and socialize. Ella was so excited to see her friends & we were happy to take her to a safe, familiar and close environment. A godsend as we had our 9 month old Monkey with us as well.

We set out at about 6:30 with Ella and baby Max. EVERYONE in the community was unbelievably nice with one exception. At one house, Ella was asked at the door if she lived in the neighborhood. She was honest and said "no I live on X Road but I catch the bus here with my friends, Emily and Beth." To which the woman said, "I only give out candy to kids who live in this neighborhood." Our daughter didn't understand her and looked to us, we were dumbfounded. We attempted to explain that she catches the bus at this neighborhood and was invited by friends there to come for Halloween. To which was repeated, more harshly, "I only give candy to children who live here!"

This is so not about the candy. Anyone who knows Ella knows she would have given her entire bucket of candy away to anyone who asked for it. As Ella and I walked away from the house, my tough little cookie was virtually in tears. She turned to me and said "Why was the lunch lady so mean to me?" The woman who had just turned Ella away works in the cafeteria at her school! I quickly tried to change her focus, so that she (unlike me) would not dwell. I absolutely understand this woman's right to distribute candy to whomever she desires, but it troubles me that someone who would intentionally be cruel to my child works at her school.

I tried to explain to Ella but honestly was at a complete loss for words. She went from a delightful, proud little girl having a great Halloween to deflated and really genuinely hurt. She repeated to me several times "Mom, I was not mean to her." and "Mom, I said Trick or treat." She very much felt it was her fault and that she had done something wrong. I felt horrible because I SURELY would not have let her go to that house had I known she would receive that reception. I could even understand if she were a much older child or making a 2nd pass through.

I know I am dwelling too much, but it does concern me that someone who works with children could be so cruel to them on an evening that is really geared toward them. I get not wanting to deal with the trick or treater thing, but selectively discriminating against a 5 year old just seems crazy. I am hopeful that she was having a bad day and children aren't routinely treated in this manner by her at school.

Sorry I just needed to vent! Ella is an inclusive, loving child and I had hoped, probably completely naively, hoped that a similar attitude is fostered by everyone who she comes into contact with, especially at her school.

I so so so wish I wasn't out of eggs. I am kidding. Maybe. Actually I have never wanted to punch a woman so badly, but I knew that would be inappropriate. At least in front of my children.

The rest of the evening was awesome. We ended at the home of our bus stop friends who were hosting an open house. They were mortified by the lunch lady's behavior. A slice of pumpkin and cream cheese cake and a cup of hot cider later we all felt much better. All in all, Ella had a great night and made a beautiful Cleopatra.

9 Months Old

Today Max is 9 months old. 3/4s of a year. Go Max! He goes to the doctor on Thursday for his check-up so we'll have official stats later. UPDATE: Official Stats are in. 26 lbs! That's off the chart a little, ok maybe a lot (but so was Ella and she's no longer chunky). 80% for height. This one shocks me. He's got the long mama torso, short legs! 90% for head size ;)

He is an eating machine and I have no idea how we are going to afford him when he's a teenager!

He has the sweetest disposition still & loves to jabber. He is officially REALLY crawling now. He is fast. And he is really adored by all!

Cleopatra

Only my daughter, with no prompting from me, decided she wanted to be Cleopatra for halloween. "Why?" I asked. Ella, "Because she's the queen of Egypt, mom." I did the best I could. This is the trial run for a pre-Halloween party.

I really tried to convince Hung to put on a white tunic and go as her manservant.

Oh and she also explained to her dad and I that the things that you put in the ground to play croquet are called wickets. We googled. She was right.

Memories...

As Max starts learning to make new sounds (current favs being GA and BA), in the corners of my mind I am remembering some of Ella's early words. One of her very first words, along with mama, dada, and gram, was fluer (flower but she really pronounced it like fluer - Fluuuuu-er).

And for Butterfly, she would say Flutterby. I thought that made a lot of sense.

The St. John Master Plan is in Place

This is Ram's Head, St. John. After 3 trips, I have still not seen this. Why? Because it requires hiking! I have done my research and found that this hike is relatively flat, 2.5 miles roundtrip and though quite exposed and HOT, it is entirely doable early in the morning.

This is no joke people. 3 weeks from today I will be tucked into bed at the Ritz Carlton St. Thomas, restlessly waiting for dawn so that I can head to St. John! We originally were doing our regular traveldayofhell through St. Thomas, onto the Ferry, and over to St. John all in one day. But, Delta decided to cancel Thursday flights. So, it was either lose a day of the house we'd already rented, or go a day early and find another place to stay.

Still our Wednesday will start at 4am with a flight out of Dulles at 6. We have a LONG layover in Atlanta, better than a short layover, trust me. Arrive on STT at a little before 3pm. Then we will enjoy 9 full days of bliss.

My awesome friend, Mari & her cool hubby, Jim will be joining us for the week. And my mom is going. And our regular babysitter is joining us for 5 days. I am obsessed and I can't wait!

I have already shipped a box of baby paraphenelia - formula, diapers, swim diapers, baby food, sunscreen, bugspray, etc. $28. Probably the best $28 I have spent for this trip. The packing has begun. There are 4 piles on the guest bed, one for me, one for hubby, one for ella, and one for max. Make that 5. There is also the carry-on pile that will go into the carry-on bag with supplies for our first night on St. Thomas (a swimsuit and 1 change of clothes for all + toiletries) so that we won't have to open the rest of the bags until we hit St. John.

So for the plan, yes it is down to the hour:
______________________________________
Wednesday, November 14
6:10am Delta to STT via Atlanta
3 pm Arrive STT & grab a taxi to Ritz Carlton
4 pm Check-in & Relax by the pool
8 pm Hung & Amy Dinner at Bleuwater Restaurant
__________________________________________
Thursday, November 15
Morning Breakfast & Pool at the Ritz
11 am Call Destination St. John & Check-out of Ritz
11:15 am Meet Dohm’s Water Taxi to STJ at National Park Ferry Dock Red Hook
12 pm Pick up car at Conrad Sutton’s & head to house
Afternoon Lunch, Relax, & Groceries
2:35 Mari & Jim arrive STT
4pm Meeting Mari & Jim at Cruz Bay dock to lead them to the house
Evening Dinner
__________________________________________
Friday, November 16
Morning Breakfast @ Mosquito Bites (Coral Bay)
10-2 Cultural Demo at Annaberg/Francis Beach
Lunch SKINNY LEGS!! Vie’s for Tarts
Afternoon POOL
3:35 pm Johanna Arrives STT
5 pm Meet Johanna at the Ferry
Evening Dinner out Kid-Friendly
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Saturday, November 17
Early Morning Salt Pond/Hike Ram’s Head
11am Amy/Mari Nomadic Spa
Afternoon POOL
7:30-8:30 Skywatch @ Cinnamon Bay
8pm Dinner @ Rhumbline’s or Sweet Plantains
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Sunday, November 18
Morning Beach or Tortola BVI Ferry
Lunch Island Blues
4-7:30pm Sunday Jazz @ the Beach Bar/Forum Happy Hour
Evening Dinner out with Everyone! Or Dinner at the House
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Monday, November 19
Morning Morning Dinghy Rental from Noah’s Arks go to Waterlemon
Afternoon POOOOLLLLL
8pm Evening Dinner at Zozo’s
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Tuesday, November 20
8:30a-12:30p ½ Day Sail – Bread on the Water
Afternoon POOL
Evening Johanna’s Goodbye Dinner Pastory Gardens
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Wednesday, November 21
9 am Pick up lunch from Deli Grotto
9:30a-11a Waters Edge Walk Location: Annaberg Parking Lot
11 on Beach
2 pm Put Johanna on the Ferry to STT
5:15 pm Johanna departs St. Thomas
Evening Hung Night Dive Caneel Bay Dock
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Thursday, November 22 Gram’s Birthday!!!
Morning Beach or Tortola BVI Ferry
Afternoon Beach/Pool
6:30pm Thanksgiving Feast @ Banana Deck
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Friday, November 23
10 am Check-out of the house
11 am Return Cars, Lunch @ JJ’s, Shop around Cruz Bay
12:30 pm Meet Water Taxi @ the Ferry dock ... BYE St. John
3:35 pm Amy, Hung, Ella, Max & Gram

More than 2...

Before I had two children, I NEVER could understand why anyone would have more than 2 children. I am starting to get it. NO, I am not having anymore. I have been cut off by my friends, my ob, my husband & myself. It is not so much that I wouldn't want the kids, its just that NONE of us can handle the pregnancies.

So, back to my point. I get it now though. Max seems (SEEMS!) so much easier than Ella did. Of course, it is not necessarily that he is. Its just different with the 2nd one. I am not nearly as stressed and I think that is translating to him not being stressed.

I think with the first one you worry ALL THE TIME. With the 2nd one, you've been there and done that and so you actually can relax and enjoy the process a little bit more.

To reiterate. I am DONE. Finished. FINITO. CUT OFF. BUT, I get it now. Well other than the financial part. And the lack of sleep.

THINGS I MISS FROM MY PRE-MOM LIFE:

- Sleeping in - this BY FAR is #1
- Being able to be sick in bed when I felt like being sick in bed
- Travel at the drop of a hat with no preplanning involved
- Completed converstations

THINGS I WOULD NEVER TRADE:

- A smile from my boy
- A "Mom, I looooooooooove you" from my girl
- The look my husband and I share when we are watching our kids
- The way they smell, fresh out of the bath
- The warmth of their little sleeping bodies on my chest
- The sound of their voices
- Christmas Morning - no, not the presents, the excitement!
- Every single project that comes home from kindergarten. EVERY one.

Things to do in St. John

Well well well ... St. John is just a short 30 something days away! FINALLY.

Here is my recently compiled list of things to do. It may take me 10 trips to get it all done but this is a start. I don't even want to do some of the things on this list but I did want to keep track of all the possibilities!

Bold things I have done.
Bold italics things are things on the list for this trip.

TREATS

Cocoberry Shake from that place in Wharfside
Mojito from Joe's Rum Hut
Ice cream from I Scream
Colombo's
Any Smoothie from the smoothie truck
Garlic Chicken & Tarts @ Vie's
A hot dog at Beach Dawgs
Root Beer @ the Tap Room
Candy's Barbeque (some say its better than Uncle Joe's)
Uncle Joe's BBQ & ALL the sides to go back to the house
Baked in the Sun sandwiches
Steak Sandwich and Crab Wontons at the Beach Bar
Potato Salad at Starfish Market
Create a Beach smorgasboard at Deli Grotto
West Indian treats - Sogo's (across from Lime Inn)
Appetizers and drinks at Zozo's bar @ sunset
fresh greens from Josephine
freah tuna or mahi-mahi, either by the dock or at the Fish Trap Market
Orange cake at Mosqito Bites

RESTAURANTS

Rhumblines
Donkey Diner especially breakfast
ZoZo's
Inn at Taramind Court esp breakfast
Sweet Plantains
Miss Lucy's
La Tapa
Maho Bay - esp breakfast
Island Blues - esp that drink w/ nutmeg
Aqua Bistro
Cafe Roma
JJs Texas Coast - esp breakfast
Pastory Gardens
Skinny Legs
Shipwreck Landing Restaurant
Asolare Sunset dinner
Happy Fish - sushi
Mosquito Bites - full breakfast & the orange cake!

BARS

Woody's
Beach Bar
Go to the Tap Room for a VI Pale Ale (Free WIFI)
Sputnik
Quiet Mon
Front Yard
Gecko Bar
Compass Rose (Free WIFI)

BEACHES/SNORKELING

Salt Pond
Vie's Beach
Hawsknest
Maho - kiddie friendly
Gibney
Francis Bay
Caneel Bay
North side of Haulover, Pelican Rock and Paradise Point
Drunk Bay
Honeymoon beach
Night snorkeling
Lime Tree Beach
Snorkel at Turtle Beach at Caneel Bay
Snorkel Chocolate Hole
Denis Bay
Jumbie
Trunk Bay
Cinnamon Bay
Honeymoon

HIKES

Hiking Reef Bay *maybe (stand on Reef Bay and look back up the hillside, you are getting the same view that has existed since the island was formed)
Waterlemon - hike and snorkel
Brown Bay hike and beach
Ram Head Trail
Solomon & Honeymoon Beach hike
hike to Drunk Bay & Blue Cobblestone Beach from Salt Pond

EVENTS/SPECIALS

Sunday Jazz @ Beach Bar
Pastory @ sunset Happy Hour 3-6. Drinks $1.00 off
$3 painkillers at Beach Bar on Sunday afternoon
Arrange a Forum Happy Hour w Pia & Ruth
Morgan's Mango Mango Margaritas and Tuesday Lobster Night
Full Moon Party @ Miss Lucy's

ON ST JOHN

Rent a dinghy
Cook more at the Villa
Watch the sunset from the Villa
Drink in the pool
Sunset Sail
Go to the other side of the island (Coral Bay).
Learn to dive...
kayak to Hurricane Hole from Crabby's
learn to sail this 35' Du Four sloop called Gypsy Spirit around the island
Visit the Animal Shelter
Kristen Maize showing at the Michael Banzhaf Gallery
Nightdive
Book a massage & Scrub with Nomadic Spa
Play mini golf at Pastory Gardens

OFF ST JOHN EXCURSIONS

Rent power boat for BVIs - Ocean Runner
Jost Van Dyke in power boat from OR w/captain
Virgin Gorda
Day Sail to the BVIs
Ferry to Tortola
Ferry to Jost

SHOPPING

St. John Spice - Say Hi to Ruth!
Mongoose Junction
Pink Papaya
Jolly Dog & Skinnys
Freebird
The Body Deli

What about your dad, mom?

This is a question I am getting more and more often from Ella lately. I resist the temptation to lie and say he's dead. That's not fair to her. I also resist the temptation to tell her the whole truth and risk scaring her. So, I just say that he's alive, but that I don't know him at all. That he chose to not be a part of my life when I was a little girl so he lost the opportunity to know me and therefore to know her and Max.

My father is someone that the older I get the less I understand. He abandoned our family when I was about 3 and 1/2, my brother was almost 7. It was Christmas of 1977. He was a man full of rage, bad choices, alcohol and a pathetic lack of responsibility. Collection of child support ($50/week) or getting him to own up to his legal responsiblity to provide healthcare always was a battle, usually involving long waits and court hearings, until finally my mother just gave up. I really REALLY thought that as I got older I might understand. Maybe when I had kids, it would make sense & I would see how something like that could happen.

I will admit when Ella was born, it was hard for me, it made my core ache to see my husband, her father, being so tender with her. Even then I would question. Its easy now, she's just a tiny baby. But over the years, 5 so far, I have watched their relationship grow. I have seen a man, ill equipped by nature to deal with a little girl, wipe away tears, scoop her up in excitement, whipser sweet things in her ear, diaper her, read her bedtimes stories, blow endless noses, teach her, show her, feed her, bathe her, console her. I have seen a man love a girl more than he loves himself. And love a girl in a way that was not taught to him, but instead was just in him.

My father must have been missing that gene. I know with absolutely no doubt that whatever could come to pass between Hung & I, Ella will never suffer any more than necessary for it. I know that Ella will never not know her father. That is the single greatest gift he can give her.

I have spent a lifetime doubting because of the damage done by a father who walked away. Never on a conscious level did I feel like less, but I still want love to be proven. I don't understand or trust that love sometimes just is. It has made me test people and relationships in ways that is not fair. To make others pay for something they have had no role in creating.

I know I am better person, a better woman, a better mother, a better wife, for not having been influenced directly by his hatefulness. Still, I will never know what Ella knows. The strength, love, and security that one can know when raised by a real man who is there no matter what. I am not saying that a mother isn't enough, she surely was, but there is still a hole. A hole that though I would not have wanted him to fill, it would have been nice to have a real father fill.

I also know how tremendously lucky I was to find and marry the man I did. His patience, devotion and constant steadiness have allowed me to finally open up my heart and trust that it will not end in heartbreak. I could not ask for a better husband or father for my children. I also have found that there is no explanation that will ever suffice for what my father chose to do to my brother and I. That some things in life are truly unforgiveable. And that it is ok for me to chose to live my life without him in it. It is ok for me to refuse to forgive or welcome him now, just because I have children. That this choice is a reflection, not on me, but on him. That it does not make me less of a person or bitter, empty or even sad. It simply makes me resolute. I know this decision is the right decision. No relationship between he and I would ever be real.

It is because I have children, that I will never be able to understand his choice. There is nothing and no one who could ever stand between me and Ella and Max. Absolutely Nothing. And there is nothing that a relationship with him could bring that would add to my life. My life is full, sweet, rich and strangely just as it should be. I owe him nothing. I owe myself more.

Joy is a girl named Ella

This is my girl Ella on a recent fall afternoon. I am constantly amazed by her ability to find joy in everything. Crazy, puke inducing fair rides, McDonald's French Fries, dance class, school, the slug on the rock at the bus stop, her brother, hershey kisses, pennies, a lost tooth, a weekend at gramma's. You name it she loves it.

I am not naive, I know that this too shall pass. That soon enough she will have her moments of NOT loving life. Whether it will be that she doesn't like the outfit I picked out or the little girl at school who will say she's not her friend, the day will come. The day when her ceaseless, effortless love of life will change. She, like all of us, will struggle with friends, love, work, life. She will be fine. My heart will break for her as she realizes that the world is not utopia and sometimes people are just mean to be mean.

For now, I will just continue to bask in her glow. I cherish every single time that out of the blue she will say to me, "Mama, I love you." And no, this statement is not immediately followed by "Can I have a candy bar?" Tonight it was in response to my asking her to pick out and bag our apples. She loves me because of apples!

As she begins to understand the world around her in increasing and disappointing complexity, my job will be to serve as her sounding board, her steady rock, her number one fan in life. Her protector. I will come by this easily. She makes it so easy. She is love. Pure and simple. Sweet and lovely. She is my daughter and I could not be a prouder mom. I know it is such a cliche, but it is so true that I would gladly lay my life on the line for her or her brother. Without question, I know that I would.

Those who know the intricacies of my pregnancies, particularly Max's gestation, will often say that they don't think they could do it. But I know that what I sacrificed was nothing. What I gained was everything. I made the decisions I made for the lives of my children without even a 2nd thought. My only concern was that they get the best chance they could have. This is not heroic. It is simply what a parent does in small and large measure every day. You have no idea what you can handle until the moment comes that you have to just hunker down and push through. And anyone who knows me or my kids knows they have given me far more than I could ever give them. They have given me focus, laughter, warmth, sweetness and a perspective on life that is invaluable. The knowledge that life is too short to waste time worrying about the little stuff.

Upcoming Travels

One of the things I love about my job, other than my kick ass boss, is the fact that I get to travel just the right amount. When I worked for NASA I traveled WAY too much and way too often to places that were just not all that desirable. Wallops Island, Memphis, Mountainview. Not exactly awesome destinations! There were a couple of great places sprinkled in, but again, too much and too often to lame places!

However, in the last 7+ years I've been to many interesting places thanks to the workplace. San Francisco, New York City, Seattle, Atlanta, Toronto, San Antonio, Phoenix, oh and Utah ... don't forget Utah ;) Oh, and Minneapolis & Indianapolis. Upcoming years promise trips to Denver, Vancouver, Miami and Boston. I am sure I am forgetting a few. I digress...

This fall I have many work & non-work related travels.

Texas - THIS weekend - for the wedding of Sumsumsummertime
Williamsburg - Oct 19-21 - taking our neices to visit W&M and hopefully convince one or both that its the best college in the land. Go Tribe!
Urbanna - November 2-3 - for the 50th Annual Oyster Festival!
Denver - November 7-9 - for our annual conference site scope
St. John - November 14-23 - for VACATION!!! FINALLY.
San Diego - January 5-10 - for another conference
Orlando - March 15-22 - for our pilgrimage for Ella to Disney!

That's all that is officially planned for now. I am hoping for a beach house in the outer banks in August. We'll see if daddy can keep bringing home the bacon!

8 Months Old

...also known as 2/3rds of 1 year old. Max can now sit up all by himself & he is discovering his voice. Lots of "ahhhhhhhhhs" "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHs" "Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhs" and "mmmmmmms" but the mmmms are usually related to him being upset about something. He is sort of crawling/military drag style.

I don't have any official specs, but I am guessing he is upper 20s for lbs & he's in size 12mo-18mo.

It's October!

We all survived! YAY! Of course, Max just hates the torture from his sister.

Bison Builders

I won't recount the nightmare here that was our home building process. Suffice to say our builder, Bison Building, tried to steal our house out from under us as the market skyrocketed. We signed a contract for our home in January of 2001 and didn't accept delivery until April of 2002! When we signed the estimated delivery date was August 2001. So, based on that we sold our house in May of 2001 & moved in with my mother in law. Oh, and I ended up pregnant in the process. We moved in just 2 weeks before Ella was born. NIGHTMARE.

Anyway, I am happy to see that the housing bust has claimed them.

Bath Time with Max

He turns the water on, I turn it off. He turns it on, I turn it off. He looks at me like this. As if to say, "HELLO I want it on." And I look back and say "I want it off!" So, of course, he turns it on again.

And this picture I post because my friend says I am VERY strange for loving the back of my baby's head. I just think its very cute. He thinks I am very weird. It is cute. Isn't it!?

I post things like these because these are the tiny, silly things that I won't remember in 5 years when its him heading off to kindergarten.

Oh What a Difference a Year Makes!

I used to love September. It was the month of chrisp cool autumn air and finding out that we were going to have Ella. Then in the early 2000s, it seems bad things started to happen this month. It is the month of Katrina, the World Trade Center & Pentagon, the loss of my dear friend's father, and the words "Your baby's condition is catastrophic." So, now, September is just a month I try to get through, hoping nothing bad will happen. I am not trying to jinx myself I promise but the month kind of freaks me out a little bit.

1 year ago today I was sitting at just about this exact moment in the office of Dr. Ghidini in the perinatal center at Alexandria Hospital. It was for my 2nd sonogram of the day after the first showed bad, bad signs. We had found out in the morning that Max was in grave condition. It was a bad day. We were scared, confused, worried, freaked out, and lost. It seems like both an eternity ago & just yesterday. I find it hard to believe that one year later I am here with a healthy, 7 & 1/2 month old chunky baby boy that is trying to figure out how to crawl. God help us all. How differently it all could have gone, but I truly try not to think about that. Still, September is no fun for me. And I will like it when October 1 is here. I'll breathe a little easier.The fact that Max is here and well is nothing short of a miracle. I only give myself today to think of that. With him I just take every moment as it comes, dwelling in the sweetness of his little spirit. Appreciate it for what it is. We were faced with gut wrentching decisions and painful long days and weeks between appointments. I am just so grateful for that little boy. I am truly, madly in love with both of my children, but it is almost of if he and I have a connection that goes beyond. My mom seems to have it with Ella, but Max & I at times are in our own little world. Its almost as if he knows (and perhaps he does on an unconscious visceral level) all that I went through for him. He knows and he is grateful, and thus, takes it easy on me. He beams when I walk in a room, he quiets when I hold him, he will do anything to get a visual of me in his line of sight.

The biggest difference that Max has brought to my life, the most valuable lesson, is don't sweat the small stuff. Never one to suffer fools lightly, I have gotten even worse. I am INCREDIBLY empathetic to those who truly need empathy and support. However, those who fuss and go into fit about stupid things do not get a lot of tolerance anymore. Life it so short, so precious and so unpredictable that you have to just hold on and try to enjoy the ride!

Another Ella Classic

On Friday, upon being picked up from afterschool care.

Me: "So how was your day? Did you have a good first week of school?"

Ella: "Yes, mama, but its time to stop playing and do our work. We played too much this week!"

I think she doesn't realize that though they seem to be playing they are learning. In 4 days they'd already had 3 days of PE, 1 day of Art and 1 day of Music. And they say public schools are no good :)

7 months old!

Still just the best baby possible. Max is all over the place. He can sit up, roll around the floor, reach and grab stuff & eat real food. Mushed food, but food. So far we're good with peas, squash, sweet potatoes, pears, bananas and pizza. Just kiddin about the pizza.

First Day of School

Its official! She's off to kindergarten. How did this happen? I very much feel like my heart has gone out of my chest and on that bus this morning to school with her. I really didn't think it would be this tough. (note: tough for me, Ella is so happy and excited) I felt very prepared & then we had her last day at Jeannie's and I've just been kind of heavy hearted ever since. She's ready. Its a great big step for her. Mom just has to keep up!

Kindergarten here we come

Is this the face that Ella's kindergarten teacher will know and love? Or will that be the mouth that never stops running? I fear she, like me, will have the report card statement "very good student, talks too much in class!" I guess there are worse things than having a million questions. And her questions are not, "why, mom? why why why?" they are more like "Mama, why does that tree have red leaves in the fall and the other trees leaves stay green?" QUESTIONS I AM INCAPABLE of answering. Yesterday she says to me, "Mama, umbrellas were invented in India." I have no idea whether she's right or not (but I'd bet on her rather than against her) but the fact that she knows India exists blows my mind. She also said to the lady cutting her hair, "Hey, did you hear about the .... what's it called mama (mama kept silent since I had NO clue where she was going with it), that big storm, oh Hurricane, in Mexico. It was flooding and the rain was coming down sideways!" Yes, she occassionally sees snipets of the news. The real world, she even heard something about 14 soldiers dying in Iraq the other day and said "Oh mama, that is so sad about those soldiers." Maybe I should shield her but I'd rather talk to her about real life. So she's not totally sheltered and ill-equipped to deal with the real world.

This brings me to a discussion about TV watching by kids on a listserv for Moms from the DC area. There were dozens of emails about how only 1/2 an hour a day should be allowed and on and on. I just flat out disagree. And finally had to post the following message:


I have a 5 year old just about ready to enter kindergarten and TV has always been a part of her life. Definitely more than the 30 minutes a day or whatever is recommended. We don't abuse it and when we tell her that's it and time to go...to bed, to do art, to school, she is extremely cooperative and happy to move on to another activity. We have always been very careful about WHAT she watches, not so much how much she watches. We get comments from our adult friends expressing amazement at her vocabulary and knowledge of even intricate concepts. I know we have played a large part in that by talking to her and doing our best to explain things to her, but I also know that she has learned an appreciation of many things and an understanding of even more from her shows (Baby Einstein, Sesame Street, Little Einstein, etc - think Noggin channel, though she does love Scooby Doo too). Another great resource for exposing your children at a young age to music is the Beethoven's Wig cd set. At first she just loved listening to the singing (they set classical pieces to lyrics that tell the story or history of the piece), now she can hear a classical composition and recognize it and even recall the name of the piece. "Mom this is Fur Elise" "Yes, Ella, it is!" Ultimately it is totally up to individual families to set limits. I also try to think back to when I was a kid and how much TV time we had. It was CONSTANT. And the quality of programming (Tom & Jerry, Flintstones, etc) was not nearly as good as it is today. Still, I made it into one of the most selective colleges in Virginia and have a successful fulfilling career. I guess I could be considered a bit of a slacker mom, but I try not to obsess too much about anything and just do the best job I can do with my children. As long as they are happy, healthy and engaged in what is going on around them, I am ok with that. Maybe I am in denial, but I am ok with that too!