Rules of Parenting

Maybe I am asking for this to bite me in the ass, but as far as I can tell there are two basic rules that work in parenting:

1. Be Consistent - both parents!
2. Familiarize yourself with & often use the word "NO".

Ella expects no as often as she does yes. When did parents get so afraid of it. It doesn't make a kid feel bad, it allows them to learn rational boundaries. NO is a part of her life. They might as well get used to it now. We are not afraid of it. And STAND your ground. If you say no, mean no. If you plan to threaten to thrown away all of the kid's toys, be prepared to do so. Once they figure out you are full of hot air, their behavior will change accordingly.

This leads me to a funny moment with Ella. Her dad told her to pick up her toys that were EVERYWHERE and she started to but then in a whiney voice said, "why won't you help me?" He, busy with other stuff, said, "Because you made the mess, and I am doing something right now." She said, "Then I am not doing it!" So he said, "Well, maybe you have too many toys then. If you don't care enough about your toys to put them away we will just have to bag them up and give them away to someone who would love to have them." To which she retorted, "I am telling my gramma!"

Oh ... my ... that was the wrong thing to say :) We nicely and calmly together explained to her that she was welcome to tell gramma, in fact, we would dial the phone for her, but that while she would get a soft shoulder and a sympathetic ear, the toys would still be gone. To which she said, "OK OK FINE!" and began to gather them all up. Just as they will try to call your bluff, you MUST call theirs. It is the only way they learn.