The Boy: Month 25 1/2

My main little man is now solidly two. UNBELIEVABLE. I suspect the monthly posts will wane and instead you will get a conglomeration of random thoughts about my kids and family from here forth.

I couldn't resist this post though because the picture was just too cute. This is Max with his Easter bucket. A little non traditional (His sis got the more traditional basket but when Mama, I mean the EB saw this at target he/she couldn't resist). He was, as expected, most excited by the car and the shredded paper in the bucket.

Max is a ham. He is all at once a sweet, onery, serious, mischevious, rotten and loving little guy. He LOVES his cars. He LOVES his blanket. He is talking up a storm now. It is amazing. He is very much a mocking bird which means I have to watch my mouth even more. Though I have been doing this around Ella for a while I've been a slight bit more lax around Max. He's a good teaser. He LOVES to mess with him mama's mind. He also is very much his mother's son in that his emotions show all over his face. And who could miss our matching dimples.

(Digression: After Max was born I was not able to see him, they wouldn't let me get up for the first 12 hours and he was in the NICU, until only minutes before he was moved from Alexandria hospital to Georgetown --- terrifying --- especially the next few days when he and I were not in the same hospital and big decisions were being made. My internal control freak was not a fan. Luckily, good drugs helped. My dear hubby worked overtime seeing me and Max and attending to Ella, thankfully with the help of my mama. I vividly remember the one thing that brought both tears to my eyes and a smile to my face. He called me hourly in the beginning when he was at the Georgetown NICU to update me. In one of those early phone calls he mentioned he had noticed something that Max had gotten from me. He would not tell me what it was. He was faithfully bringing me pictures on the digital camera as he knew how much I was missing Max. Imagine 38 weeks together to be kept so far apart so soon. I was in a fog and on percocet so I managed fine, but looking back I wonder how. Anyway, when he came to visit me that evening, camera in hand, the picture showed the most adorable dimple on his cheek in just the exact same spot as mine.

Us with our matching dimples...



And another thing, I never liked my dimple until this guy popped out with one. /disgression).

Every night before bed or "night night" as it is called in this house he goes around and kisses and hugs everyone and then he usually runs to me and asks, "UPA?" which is his way of saying carry me up those stairs woman I am tired. On our way up the stairs he says to me, without fail, "mama rock a minute" and we do ... sometimes just a minute, sometimes a few more, and then he'll say, "night night mama lay down" and I put him in his crib and I give him a kiss and he always asks for his "UGGG" (hug) chaser. We squeeze, he always giggles and I know at the moment no two hearts are warmer or more connected than ours. Even if he messes with me and won't give me a kiss 9 times out of 10 when I ask. Yep, I am the girl who was all "A BOY! What am I going to do with a boy. I don't even really like most boys!!" I guess he taught this girl a lesson. Totally wrapped around his finger. TOTALLY.

An Amazing Dad

No not mine and no not even my husband. This dad's blog puts life in brutal perspective. He lost his wife shortly after she gave birth. Beautiful and tragic all at the same time.

70 Days...

Being Still

Being still is very difficult for me. Not in the physical sense. I am the best of all couch potatoes when my little ones allow me to be. On the other hand, finding mental stillness is very difficult for me. My mama asks me all the time, "Do you ever stop going?" and though I do sit still occasionally, my mind is difficult to quiet. I am not sure why, but I have always been this way.

Lately I find it is getting more and more difficult to quiet my mind and be still. Recently, as in two days ago, I decided to start walking again. Winter is a rough season for me. There is nothing I like about it, and I find myself going into a bit of a funk each year. Not something I would label as depression, more like an intense desire to hibernate. Think about it, you pack on some pounds and then go to sleep for the most dreary and cold of seasons only to awaken in Spring to chirping birds and green trees and colorful blooms.

Anyway, I find when I move my body is one of the few times my mind becomes clear and still. Quiet. Peaceful. And thus the walking.

Ray Lamontane's Be Here Now is in heavy rotation on the play list right now.

Don't let your mind get weary and confused
Your will be still, don't try
Don't let your heart get heavy child
Inside you there's a strength that lies
Don't let your soul get lonely child
It's only time, it will go by
Don't look for love in faces, places
It's in you, that's where you'll find kindness
Be here now, here now
Be here now, here now
Don't lose your faith in me
And I will try not to lose faith in you
Don't put your trust in walls
'Cause walls will only crush you when they fall
Be here now, here now
Be here now, here now

Taking His Name...or not

When I married, almost 10 years ago now, I kept my maiden name. I was not making a statement by not taking his name. I do suppose that if it was a huge deal to him, he would probably not have been the right guy for me to be marrying. Fortunately for us, he doesn't see it as statement on him, but simply as my preference. He never hesitated, wavered, whined, asked, hinted or otherwise seemed to really care at all. I think we had one chat about it. The conversation went something like this:

Me: "Do you want me to take your name?"
Him: "That's up to you."
Me: "I think I'll keep my name."
Him: "Ok."
Me: "You really don't care?"
Him: "Nope."
Me: "Ok."

The decision to NOT made this day no less special.






It was never a throw myself on the sword, I AM A FEMINIST/IT IS MY IDENTITY issue for me. Primarily it was a matter of convenience, practicality and not wanting my appearance to confuse the hell out of someone expecting a tiny Vietnamese woman. He had no objection, I had no burning desire to change it, we were good. We knew that our commitment to each other was solid. Does taking his name mean you are not a feminist or don't have a little streak of it in you, I don't think so. So why anyone presume that the opposite is true is beyond me.

I do recall discussing, pre-marriage, our someday kids. Would they take his name? Of course. No question or problem. No hyphenation. No new made up name with letters from each of ours. Simple. Clean. I always thought that kids of parents who hyphenated their names would be in trouble when they had kids. Does Sarah Smith-Jones become Sarah Smith-Jones-Tyler? And what about their kids. I guess there is a reason that this fad kind of died out. Not that there is anything wrong with it, it just wasn't for us. Just as there is nothing at all wrong with taking your husband's name. In marriage, just as in parenting, I am a firm believer in the "do what works" method.

Over the years, the fact that I kept my name has been more of an issue for other people than for me. People would ask, "Are you worried that the school won't know you are their mother?", "the doctor's office won't let you have them treated?" "what about when you travel!?" "Won't it confuse the children!?!?!"

I think people often make major decisions based on a lot of what ifs. I don't operate like that. I do what is comfortable for me. What makes sense to me. Not once has anyone in any official capacity even paused because I have a different last name from both of my children. Not when leaving the country, not at the doctor's office, not when enrolling them for school. Not ever. Not once. When Ella's teacher calls me she addresses me by my proper last name. Maybe it is because we live in a populous and extremely diverse area that parents with two different last names is not so unusual. Perhaps it would be different if we lived in a small town. Who knows?

My feelings on the name change issue are similar to my feelings on the interracial marriage issue. Again, always seemingly a bigger concern for others than it ever has been for the two of us. What are my thoughts and feelings on the issue that my children are biracial? Honestly, it is a non-issue. I am sensitive to the fact that we MAY face some form of discrimination someday, but I do not in any way let this define me, my marriage or my children. If someone else has a problem it is theirs to own, not ours.

One of the things I love most about my husband is that he is secure. Not pompous, not egotistical, secure. My having a different last name has no bearing on his sense of manliness. He smiles when he's referred to as Mr. my last name (typically at hotels and in travels since I serve as our travel agent). He will wear pink. He likes girlie drinks. He knows he's a man, he knows what he likes, he feels no need to prove himself to anyone. Our cultural differences, to us, are something to enjoy and explore and have never been something that makes us feel like less. We hope to instill this sense of, shall we say comfort in one's own skin, in each of our children.

Vancouver Trip Report

A couple of weeks ago I took a quick trip to Vancouver for business. It is the site for our 2010 annual meeting, so this served as the "early recon/site visit/find appropriate drinking spots for after hours" trip.

I flew out Sunday afternoon through Montreal. I do not recommend this. For some reason I didn't realize Montreal is due north of DC. So 2 hours north then almost 6 hours across Canada to Vancouver. Who knew Canada was so wide? I could practically see Russia from the plane. When you leave DC at 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday by the time you arrive at your hotel in Vancouver you've been in transit for almost 12 hours. Not fun. My head hit the pillow at about midnight which for me was 3 am DC time.

Monday I had most of the day free with the exception of meeting with printers and a dinner with the Convention and Visitors Bureau, so I explored. Gastown, Downtown, Canada Place (that's the name for their old convention center), lots of walking. The entire day was misty and overcast but somehow misty and overcast is an entirely different animal in Vancouver than it is in Virginia.



Turns out Vancouver was pretty much nothing like what I expected. Every single person who I know who has been there said to me, "awesome city" with no exceptions. Still, I expected it to be a mix of San Francisco and Seattle. I am not exactly sure why, but that was in my head. Evergreen, moist, cool, damp, cloudy...and in a way it is. But it is so much more than that. It was bigger than I expected but much more walkable and people oriented. There are no overpasses, there are dogs everywhere, and lots of green space. And there is the water and the sailboats and the stunning mountains. My hotel room overlooked a marina with views of Stanley Park and beyond the park beautiful snow capped mountains.

Day two was busier with tours of the new convention center and the city, but the sun came out and it was stunningly beautiful. I found myself thinking, I could easily live here. The convention center is beautiful and the entire city is getting in gear for the 2010 Olympics. There they just say The Games. Our conference will follow about 6 months after The Games are there, so the entire city is bustling with construction and preparations. Broadcast media will be taking over the entire convention center in September, with print media taking over all of the old convention center space. In September. Crazy.

We were the first group to tour the new center without hardhats. Unfortunately it was still also free of working elevators and escalators. 4 stories of convention center is like 10 stories of regular building. Lots of climbing...but it is beautiful. Can we just skip DC and head straight to Vancouver please?

After the days activities were done, we were treated to a bus tour of the city ending over on Granville Island. A cool, funky under the bridge place, for lack of a better term, just over the bridge from Vancouver itself. There is a huge indoor farmers market there as well as a couple of restaurants and small eclectic shops and art space. We had a great dinner at Bridges.

I had a little time to explore Wednesday morning so I headed over to Granville again to see the market and just wander around the area. Definitely worthwhile.

Soon it was time to head to the airport and back home. The flight home was far less painful. Out of Vancouver at 3, 3.5 hours to Chicago and then just another 1 1/2 hour home. Much better. The jetlag still hasn't worn off yet.

Spring...Please BRING IT!

Though I know it is officially Spring, someone needs to tell the weather that. Today was day 5-6 of highs in the 40s-50s. Where are the 60s? Where are the 70s? I need warm, toe baring, flip-flop wearing, short sleeve weather. Is that too much to ask? I was able to tolerate it for days ... because there was sun. Today, no sun. Rain, cold, dreary. I am DONE. DONE I say. Make it stop. Please.

In other programming...

Ella's softball/t-ball season is finally getting underway. Sort of. The first practice, which she was looking forward to so much that the first thing she said this morning was "PRACTICE TONIGHT, MAMA!", was unfortunately cancelled for tonight. Apparently a gaggle of 6 - 8 year olds on a cold, rainy afternoon is not such a good idea. Ella is an interesting child. She is unique. Very smart. Very inquisitive. Very opinionated. Very VERY hard headed. A little bit lazy. The older she gets the more apparent it becomes that she has some natural athletic talent. PE is the only class where she consistently gets Outstandings for aptitude. On the effort scale she's more in the range of Satisfactory. I wonder where she gets this. Don't answer that! So I am very curious to see how her first team sport experience goes. If nothing else she's off the chart right now for enthusiasm. With the way the stock market is going, mama might become a tyrannical parent because an athletic scholarship maybe her only option for college!

Jon Stewart Owns Jim Cramer

WOW. Watch all three parts. Wow. OWNED.

The Daily Show With Jon StewartM - Th 11p / 10c

Jim Cramer Unedited Interview Pt. 1

Daily Show Full Episodes
Important Things w/ Demetri Martin

Political Humor
Jim Cramer

Glorious Weekend!

I can't believe a week ago today we had 6 inches of snow on the ground and a day off of school! This weekend was 70s and sunny. Absolutely fabulous weather. Made me remember what it is I love about every season other than winter! We got out and soaked up as much vitamin D as possible. Thanks to my friend, Ali, we hit Clemyjontri park (crazy name, amazing park - think playground ON crack). Fun times but man you have to keep your eyes peeled for your kids because they can disappear in a second with all the stuff going on!

Post-park we decided to get both kids haircuts. My Max looks like a little man now and Ella just looks too mature for words. Then lunch. Then home. Max decided no nap today so instead we went for a hike down along our creek with Butter. It was gorgeous.

Saturday night we have a great dinner out with our friends - Parent's night out.

Yesterday, we took our time adjusting to the time change and went in search of new shoes for Max who is at the edge of his current shoes. Mission accomplished we returned to the house for a nap for Mama and Max while Daddy and Ella took another trip to the creek with the doggie.

Dinner last night was steak on the grill and amazing (if I do say so myself) sweet potato fries. There is little in life better than a weekend of soaking up the sun and fresh air and lounging in your living room with the windows open on a warm spring evening. All in all a great weekend!

Ella

It has been too long since I have had an Ella-centric post. All these monthly posts for Max and NOTHING for Ella. He's little and just learning stuff and she's older, mature and already knows more than I do so there isn't as much to report about her!

She remains awesome. She was most bummed this week that they cancelled school on Monday due to snow. IT WAS DR. SEUSS' BIRTHDAY for goodness sake and she needed to "wear pjs and bring a stuffed animal and a baby blanket and a favorite book!" Majorly bummed. To make up for it we've read Dr. Seuss books each night this week. Green Eggs and Ham and the Grinch never get old!

We went this past weekend to get her a new passport. Her first passport will expire this November. Her brother is in need of his first ever passport, so in the interest of getting them both on the same schedule I went ahead and bit the bullet and laid out the $120 bucks for passports and $80 to get their pictures taken and to get the USPS to process the paperwork. I was impressed as the check was cashed by the State Department YESTERDAY. We did this all on Saturday.

Anyway...I digress...as usual. So her first passport was obtained in November of 2004 in anticipation of our trip to London. I can't believe she was barely older than Max is now when we took that trip. 2 and 3/4 years to be exact. I remember this because I stressed about it to NO END. Of course, she was a champ. Slept the entire flight over and was as pleasant as punch on the way back. She loved and remembers London well. She's my little world traveler. She loves it, she adjusts well whenever we go anywhere and I think, is a much better person for her experiences. We've been to Florida a couple of times, San Francisco, St. John (3 times with her - at 3, 5, and 6), London & Cambridge, St. Martin, Nags Head, tons of local road trips, several weeks at Virginia Beach.

I just can't believe she's already in need of a passport renewal!! 5 years flies by. We are rapidly approaching her 7th birthday. It just doesn't seem possible!

Max's Rendition of Lola

It has a sad ending...like most excellent movies!



And "enjoying" the snow. Are you cold? COLD! Do you want to go inside? Nooooo.

$35

$35. For a FULL tank of gas. I really like paying for regular gas vs. high test. And my new ride gets much better gas mileage and is bigger than my old car. Makes no sense, but I'll take it.

The To Do Pile

Stealing an idea from my friend Barbo (in the hopes of getting me through my writer's/posting slump)...a daily shot.

This is my to do pile. It is not shrinking as we are moving into the busy season at work. The pile necessitates the post-lunch Starbucks run. Vicious cycle.

This won't stop me from taking my day off tomorrow. So what I will have to do a little work from home over the weekend. It is worth it for every other Friday off.

New Ride

My current lease is up in a few weeks. We've been looking for a replacement vehicle for about a month not knowing how long it would take to find EXACTLY what I wanted. I started out thinking of going in one direction but decided it wasn't working out. Primarily because Land Rover Dealers are d#$ks or clueless, one of the two.

A quick summary:

1 - Advertised a lovely LR3 as a certified vehicle at one price and then said OH that doesn't include the certification. Um, then DON'T advertise it as certified!
2 - Test drove one at Tyson's Landrover which was a service loaner, certified but A SERVICE loaner with no options they would not budge on the price. I was like um bye.
3 - Emailed a dealer in PA. Didn't even get a response.
4 - Hubby called the same dealer in PA and they were very reluctant to deal w/ out of state peeps, told us the car would be $7K (Yes that $7000) MORE than the advertised price if we wanted an extended warranty that we know only costs them $2500. When he called back they said it was sold. It is still online at cars.com and on their own website.
5 - Three different dealers quoted us three different prices for the same Land Rover extended warranty. One said they'd credit us on a certified one (up to 75K miles) $1500 if we chose the longer 100K warranty which would cost us $4000 extra (so a net of $2500). Another said it was $4000 , no credit for the original certification.. Another said $7000! WTF. I just smile at each and say ... funny you get a different price at every LR dealer.
6 - The salesman at the Alexandria dealership near me, while very nice, had NO clue how to use the navigation system and had to be corrected on several features of the car by Hung.

This is just the BS I can think of off the top of my head. So long story not so short. I took my money elsewhere.

All along I have also been considering the Saturn Outlook and peripherally the GMC Acadia (same car but I just didn't "see" myself as a GMC girl). I have looked and looked and looked and found various combinations of vehicles that almost sort of met my wants (I won't call them needs).

I wanted 7-8 seats, but not a minivan.
I wanted AWD, anyone who has seen my driveway will understand this.
I wanted an entertainment system, anyone who has heard Ella talk will understand this.
I wanted a factory navigation, anyone who has witnessed my internal sense of direction will get this.
I wanted the car to be silver. I like silver.

Well I found just about every statistical (I said it) permutation of these combos with 3 of the 4 really really wants. I was getting REALLY frustrated. Then as if from heaven itself the THE car came on the used scene (I refuse to pay $45000 for a car ... I'll take it a year old and almost 1/2 off thanks)!

3.5 hours of driving, 1 stop at McDonald's for lunch, 3 hours at the dealership and 1 very happy me later we are home with car. I heart it. I know its just a thing, but still I heart it. It has features I didn't know were available and didn't know I'd love but I do. Rear automatic gate lift = no more choosing do I put Max on the ground or the groceries which I open the damn thing. Remote starter. I am pretty sure I'd only end up asphixiating myself if I used this as I park in a garage, but hey its nice to have I guess. And the almighty tow package, a big deal to my hubby for the boat that you know we don't have....

I didn't have to pay extra for these, but I am glad the originial owner did!

Best comment about the car so far...

Ella: (looking up at the top mounted DVD screen) MAMA, THIS IS JUST LIKE AN AIRPLANE!

She hearts it too!

It looks kind of like this.

Writer's Block

I have nothing to say. I blame winter. (Even though it has been gloriously delightful for several days now, my brain knows its a ruse). I am grateful that Max's birthday is at the tailend of January because it has extended the TOLERABLE holiday season for me. Thanksgiving - January 30 is now an ok time. However I have little or no use for January 31st through oh say March 15th.

I like seasons, but I think I would be very happy with 3 seasons. Spring, Summer, Fall. A week of winter. Then Spring again. SUMMER. Fall. Repeat.

Fortunately, I have some travel coming up, so if I can survive February I should be good to go until at least October!

• Vancouver in March. Work trip with a little bit of fun.
• The Beach with my buddy KK in May.
• St. John in June (we leave the day after Ella's last day of school --- so help me if it snows and they extend school she'll just miss the last couple of days). It's first grade for goodness sakes!
• DC in August for work. The big work conference this year is local. Fun times.
• The Beach again in September with the family (Yes, Ella will be missing a few days of 2nd grade for this. It is 2nd grade for goodness sakes - do we sense a theme?)

Dear Max

Dear Max,

Hey there little guy. You are 2 now! I can't believe how fast the last two years have flown by. Even though I keep saying you are my baby, people keep saying you look like a little boy now. That makes me a little sad, but mostly I am pretty happy with the way you are turning out. Especially after that big scare you gave everybody in utero.

I'll be honest with you and say, I never really thought ooooie goooey thoughts about having a boy. I was like, "eh, a boy. ok." Little man, you have totally changed my perspective on so many things. It quickly became apparent with you (just as it did when your sister presented her own problems for mama while on the inside) that life is precious and delicate and to be savored. I thank you (and your sis) for putting so many things in life in perfect perspective.

I think you two have benefitted from this immensely. It has made me more of what I refer to as a slacker mom. I try not to slack in the important areas (you must be clean, fed, healthy, polite) but I will fully admit that I do not sweat the small stuff. If I worried about you as much as I want to worry about you, I would have gone crazy by now.

Anyway, my point is that I may not be the best mama in the world. Just last week I took you to see Doc G and said to him, "either he's just being 2 or his ear infection is back!" You were having quite the week. Doctor G checked out your ears, all clear. Then he kept poking around and looks in your mouth and says, "Amy his ears are fine but he's got some nice 2 year molars coming in!" I am a little slow, you'd think having been down this road once before, I'd remember things. I don't. (I also blame you and your sister for that memory loss). So here you were getting these giant painful teeth and I was trying to figure out why you were cranky in the evening and didn't want to eat.

Please bear with me through the next 16 or so years. I promise I'll try to get it right, but I know I won't always do the best job. Still, I will continue to show you compassion and love and kindness and support and gentle redirection (as needed) for as long as I am on this earth. You (and your sis, and your daddy too) have had such a powerful influence on shaping me into who I am as a woman. I am so grateful to be a part of your life. You are such a sweet little guy. Thanks for that too. I never knew my heart was capable of the amount of love in my heart. I love your adorable smiles, your stubborn little mind, I love the way you say "mama" and "puppy" (your p's almost sound like b's so its more like buppy) and even "NO" and "unt uh" (translation: No way no how), and especially "tank you" (thank you) and "ovvve you" (love you). I imagine I was a lot like you as a little kid. I relate.

Happy Birthday (a couple days late - see I told you I am a slacker, but we had a great party!)

Love,

Mama

2 Year Check-up Stats:

38 lbs

37.5 inches

A lb per inch. Right on track and off every chart! He's gonna be a tall boy.

Funniest thing I've seen in a long time...

From Dooce.com:

Jesus H. Christ, Barack H. Obama. Coincidence? I THINK NOT.

(for the record I did not think BHO is the 2nd coming...but I do think Dooce is damn funnay)

At What Price?

This post was provoked by a comment on an online forum that I frequent about the closing of Gitmo.

First the comment:

I know I'm in the vast minority on this forum, and I have no interest in getting in a pi**ing match with any of you, but I do find it insulting as an American, that the first thing Pres. Obama does in office is to start the process to free a bunch of terrorists.

Really. Wow. How in the world do some people come to have such strong opinions when they are so woefully uninformed?

It got me thinking about a myriad of feelings about our former and our current president and the policies in place that soon will hopefully in large part be set right. I am hopeful. I am waiting. I know the poor man has only been in office 34 hours, but change has been a long time coming.

So I know for the most part I am preaching to the choir here, but ... well anyway.

A moratorium doesn't mean these people will never be tried, just that there first needs to be a procedure in place to try them. Many of the detainees, most, have been held for over 6 years. I am not sure what the preferred course of action is, but it doesn't seem that Bush was on a particularly speedy path to bringing them to justice. 6 years is a long time to be in the process of coming up with charges and holding someone accountable.

I am not such a bleeding heart liberal that I don't think those responsible for planning and executing terrorist attacks on the US should not be punished. I do. Whole-heartedly. I just don't think our basic fundamental principles should be ignored in the process. If there is proof that the detainees have terrorist connections then by all means put them on trial and punish them to the full extent of the law, US or International. Put them to death. I am all for it.

My problem is the holding of them, without charges and apparently with no inclination to charge or try them. 98% may be guilty. What about the 2% who are not? Is that an acceptable sacrifice? To some it is. Others would say that it is not. I am not even arguing that point.

Maybe I am naive, but I don't think so, I live less than 10 miles from the Pentagon. I witnessed, first hand, 9/11. As I left my office building that day, after waiting there for hours for traffic to clear, I could smell the smoke hanging in the air. I had no idea if all of my family and friends were ok. It was tragedy for this entire country, a blow to our sense of security, but NYC and DC bore an excruciatingly high price. Even in light of the fact that I or someone close to me could have been murdered or maimed on that day, still I believe to my core of my being that our nation should stand for the basic fundamental human rights of all, even those who may have perpetrated heinous crimes. Not their freedom, not their comfort, but their right to stand trial. Their right to due process.

This is why, since our founding, we have been THE democracy to be emulated. For better or worse, and I am not trying to judge Bush here, but for better or worse, it goes without argument that diplomatically bridges have been burned. Many alliances are weak or completely broken. Those who had a distaste for the US and our way of life before, now hate us even more. We are, in many cases, rightfully seen as having at least partial, if not primary, responsibility for the deaths of hundreds of thousands in the name of defending ourselves. To put that in perspective the 9/11 attacks killed just under 3000 and we have lost a little over 4000 troops. 100,000s of lives lost in the crossfire. Can we even imagine something like that? Can you wrap your head around that number of people?

Some may think that is an acceptable price to pay. I am not arguing it is or it isn't. But can we not get outside of our own perspectives even just a little bit and see the perspective of others? To try on their shoes and walk a few steps? Some believe all is black and white, others see the world in shades of grey. Some say our safety is worth any price. Others believe there are fundamental principles that must never be sacrificed.

I, personally, do not feel that alientating the world is in our best interest - not in the short or longterm, not financially speaking or in terms of our safety. To be so alienated from former allies and to stoke the hate of so many potential foes can not serve us well. Our nation is strong and powerful, but even a nation as strong as ours, if the entire world – or even a large portion of the world – turns against us, will be in big trouble. It wouldn't be the first empire to fall. Our memories are terribly short.

When we subvert or outright discard the very freedoms our military is fighting and dying to defend, I think we defeat the very purpose. If we no longer extend basic human rights to people who may or more importantly MAY NOT have been involved in terrorist activity, then they have won. When we choose closure vs. openness, suspicion over good faith, then our way of life, the fundamental tenants on which this country was founded, have been lost. We become what it is we deplore.

I fully understand that there are those who will always hate us. Hate what we stand for. But we should not stoop. We should never give anyone the ability to make an argument that we are as morally bankrupt as they are. As was included in his speech on Tuesday, I agree that we should "reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals." We can be safe and we can uphold the ideals on which this nation was founded. Just as some have felt more secure with Bush in office for the last 8 years, I feel tremendous relief to have a man in office who does believe that there are fundamental principles that make this nation what it is and that those principles are unwavering and nonnegotiable.

January 20, 2009

Sometimes, many times, over the past 8 years it has seemed like this day would never come. 8 years ago Ella was not here, we didn't live in our current home, I was 27 for goodness sakes! My toes had never touched the sand of St. John. A lot has changed in 8 years.

Personally, in many ways, for the better for my husband and my family. We have bought a new home and moved, welcomed a daughter, weathered an immensely scary and trying pregnancy only to welcome a delightfully perfect son, potty trained, pre-schooled, started kindergarten. We have accomplished a lot. We're still standing.

As a nation, well, the picture has not necessarily been as pretty. We've seen the horror of 9/11. We've seen that horror followed by the horror of two wars. We have seen our Constitution shredded. Today I heard our new leader state, "we reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals." We can be safe and we can uphold the ideals on which this nation was founded. What a concept.

I know I am doing something right because after the swearing in as the national anthem was being played, Ella bolted into the living room from where she was playing and very seriously turned to the tv, placed her hand over her heart and sang along. What a day. I feel so blessed to have lived to see this day.

I was watching one of the news programs the other day and Soledad O'Brien was commenting on having a conversation with her daughter, also 6 like Ella, about the gravity of this moment in history. O'brien said to her we will have a black president. Her daughter wasn't getting the significance. O'brien added, "ever!" Her daughter in disbelief responded, "We've NEVER had a black president." So foreign was the concept to her that she simply could not believe it had never happened before. What a different world my children grow up in than did I.

Welcome, Mr. President. You've been a long time coming!

Whew its been a doozie

Doozie, or is it Doozy? I don't know ... but whichever whatever ... the last few days have been one. Max was sick but I don't think I can blame what I ended up getting on him. His was breathing related. Mine was more like head in a vice with a side of death warmed over. It is pretty much the sickest I've felt in a very long time. Wednesday I felt pretty crappy, Thursday I almost made it through an entire day of work before bailing, Friday I managed to log 2/3 of a telework day before totally wimping out and drugging myself and taking to bed. Tylenol PM Cold and Cough has been my best friend. If nothing else I am able to sleep.

Saturday, though I felt better (relatively speaking), my voice went. Probably for the best as all I could do pretty much was whine.

In the midst of all of this we managed to go to closing on our refinance. We dropped our interest one point and went from a 30 to a 20 year loan. So just about when Max graduates from college, provided he's on the 4 year plan, we'll be paying off the house. Sounds like that will be a good time to sell and retire to our 46 ft catamaran in the caribbean.

The good news is that instead of my whole weekend being wrecked with sickness and being pathetic, its a 4 day weekend. I get a do over! 2 whole more days to go.

Back on the Wagon

I am not really the type of girl who makes many new year's resolutions. Many, ha. Any, usually. But this year I figured maybe a few were in order. So what it has taken me almost 2 weeks to really get started, but that's ok, right?

1. Try to assume the best. Try being the operative word here. I am realistic. I am GREAT at assuming that people have the worst intentions. Old Me: Cut me off in traffic, you are an asshole. New Me: Maybe you got a call that your child was sick and you are rushing to them.

2. Try to be nicer in general especially to those I love the most. Again TRY is the operative word. I am usually a fairly nice person, especially to strangers and mere acquaintances. I save my not so nice side for those who are the closest to me or who I love the most. So far so good. Like last night when I was feeling particularly just grumpy and keyed up I said to my husband, "Man, I am IRRITABLE!" He just smiled as if to say, "really? I hadn't noticed!" Admitting is the first step, no?

3. Move my rear end. If I lose weight that is a great side effect but mostly I want to FEEL better. I actually got started on this pre-Holidays with the addition of the Wii Fit to our home. I was really on a roll. Then I took a 29 day (it counts for you) hiatus. We were busy, holidays and all and then a conference and then a sick baby. All ok excuses but not really. Anyway, I got back to it today. There is no time like the present. I was SHOCKED to discover I had actually lost 1 lb over the holidays. 1 lb weight loss or not, I still feel pretty much like crap and I know moving my a@# is the only way to make me feel better physically and it has the added benefit of making me feel better emotionally as well. I need that, especially in the winter!

4. Drink more water. This is always on my list and I always fail. I am limiting myself to no more than 1 cup of coffee a day (I can have a 2-3 a day latte habit which is expensive and not so good for me).

That's it. If I can keep even one of them I'll be in a better place come 2010.

My Children are Opposites

Though they may look so much alike that I have to look at their outfit to tell baby pictures apart, my kids could not be more different.

Max loves to eat. Ella generally could go without eating too often.

Max loves citrus. Ella would not put citrus fruit past her lips if you paid her or better yet, bribed her with a trip to build a bear. She eats apples, bananas and grapes (only if seedless) THANK YOU VERY MUCH!

Max will drink any kind of juice. Apple, orange, grape, cranberry, probably tomato (though I haven't tried). Ella drinks 1/2 water 1/2 white grape. Period. She doesn't even like juice boxes because they taste too juicy.

Ella loves milk. LOVES it. She likes chocolate milk, but really truth be told prefers white milk. 2%. Max is ok with milk, he will drink it but he doesn't suck it down like he'll never have it again.

Ella is repulsed by soda, or anything fizzy. Again, not getting past her lips. Max was eying my fountain soda today and I thought I'll do what I did with Ella. Let him taste it, he'll hate it, and never want it again. Well, let's just say it was a little like what someone very prone to addiction looks like when they get their first fix. HE LOVED IT. A good side benefit is I'll probably drink a lot less soda. Out of sight out of mind.

Max sleeps. Ella did not really sleep on her own through the night until she was oh ... about 2. Even now at 6.5, we'll often get a late night visit from her with the popular refrain, "I can't sleeeeep." Max goes to bed and you don't hear from him again until you wake him or its been at least 10 hours. Typically 12.

Ella is a talker. Max likes to let his actions speak for themselves. He understands every single thing that is going on and will express himself quite clearly, but you have to drag the words out of him. He will talk, he just doesn't see why he should. Ella doesn't see why she should ever STOP talking.

Ella is a mama's girl. Max is a daddy's boy.

Fortunately they both do love swimming, summer, broccoli, Popsicles and each other. That's enough for me.

Back to the Grind

The long break is over. Other than two brief stops in the office to gather paperwork and tie up some loose ends, I have not stepped foot in my office since December 18th. Two weeks of vacation for the holidays and then a week downtown for a conference.

I think re-entry will be painful. Wish me luck. Fortunately we are under 6 months to St. John 2009! Of course, with the upcoming festivities, resulting in a 4 day weekend for me, my wheels are turning about where I can go for a quick, warm weather getaway. A girl can dream right?

It's January, it must be time for nebulizer treatments

Poor Max ... No sooner than I stop worrying incessantly about him and he is hammered by a cold and breathing problems. He has been nursing a cold since sometime in December but it didn't seem to slow him down. Over the two weeks I was home with him over Christmas he had a runny nose but that was about the extent of it. On Monday, I was quite proud as I was sending him back to daycare ...NO runny nose, no cough, nothing. He was great.

He had 1 great day, that was Monday. Tuesday was ok. Wednesday we were in full-on downward spiral. He came home with a bit of a fever and a pretty bad attitude. Thursday, my nephews tagteamed him in the am, as I had a conference I had to attend and Hung had not one but two important meetings at work. I decided to be safe and take him to the doc on Thursday afternoon. They took one listen and said "He's wheezing." So they gave him a treatment in the office and sent us on our way with instructions for additional treatments at home (we own our own nebulizer as a result of last winter's wheezing episodes).

Funny, I had just been thinking...that nebulizer was a waste of money. Ha. I jinxed myself I suppose. Thursday after treatment number 2 he really seemed to be feeling quite a bit better. Luckily, I was off on Friday so I planned to just hang out with him and get him all better. The day started out ok, but the treatments didn't seem to be as effective as the first two had been. Friday at about 4 I noticed his breathing seemed labored and I made the executive decision he needed to be seen again. I love our pediatrician's office. I called and explained how I was feeling worried about his breathing and they basically said bring him in now. So we were off again to the doc. Indeed he was still wheezing a bit and therefore in addition to neb treatments they added steriods. 48 hours later I think we are moving in the right direction.

I have given up on the hope that I will ever have a mind at ease with this little guy. As I told the doc we saw on Friday, "He's a hydrops baby, if he looks at me cross-eyed I am bringing him in." I could see the look in the doc's eyes (almost one of disbelief) and then he flipped through the charts as if he couldn't believe that this baby had full-on fetal hydrops in utero. I don't point it out to made a big deal out of what he's been through, but more to make sure that they look and listen for everything with him. With Dr. G, I never worry as he knows the history and is hypervigilant but when I have a doc that is not as familiar with Max's history, I point it out. If they think I am crazy, I am ok with that.

I have also given up hope that I will ever stop waiting for the other shoe to drop. Mostly, I have determined, because they don't know why he had hydrops. This leads me to, at least in my own mind, despite numerous check-ups and seemingly normal health so far, to wonder will the reason some day rear its ugly head. I hope not, but I will not be lulled into thinking it can't. I will always be on the lookout.

The Boy: Month 23 Supastar!

I am pretty much going to just let this picture speak for itself. Max, Month 23, bada@#! He is extremely sweet, VERY determined, and finally stringing two words together at a time. Language is not his strong suit, being an awesome guy with mad physical skills is. I love him. He's a happy camper. We won't have a growth update for another month but I am pretty sure from the "wow, he's so .... BIG!" comments we get he's still off the charts for height and weight, you know, considering he's as tall almost as his 5 year old cousin.

2, Bring it!

Time Off

First let's start with some pictures...then the words.

One would think with a little over two weeks OFF from work to enjoy the holidays with my family I would have had MORE time to update my blog, but no not so much.

Over the holidays there was a blur of activity and we all mostly survived fully intact. The house was de-decorated on January 1 because I couldn't take it anymore and I was so inspired by the decluttered nature that I continued decluttering and cleared out a bookcase in my bedroom and three cabinets (that trip to the container store served as inspiration).

Christmas was a blur but both kids must have been VERY good because Santa totally spoiled them. Ella also tracked Santa and Rudolph for the first time on Norad. She was very excited and she wanted to know when Santa starts making his list for the next Christmas. I, of course, said "right away!"

My mama came to stay with us from Christmas eve through the weekend and Christmas night my godmother came with my Maggie. We decided to have post-Christmas dinner on the 26th in PJs. It was the best. Maggie stayed on with us from the 25th until Saturday, January 3. That was awesome. We bummed around and did as little as possible.

Not a lot otherwise to report. A lot of bumming, eating, relaxing, playing cards (which involves cursing), and generally being worthless. It was the best. But all good things must come to an end, or in this case a screeching halt!

I am still out of the office this week, in DC, for a very (not) fun conference. At least I have a Friday off to look forward to at the end of the tunnel!

Baking, baking and more baking

I spent pretty much the entire day yesterday baking. Really, I started Friday night with the making of the Hot Trash (like a spicy homemade chex mix on crack) and Sweet and Spicy Bourbon Pecans. Mmmmmmmmm.....The house smelled amazing. The nuts didn't work out quite right and I was about to toss them (all 2lbs!!!) when I thought perhaps I should just roast/toast/bake them a bit more. I did that and OH MY. I had to cook them about 20 minutes longer than the recipe called for but the result was just as it should have been - more sweet than spicy but almost caramelized on the outside and crunchy. I may eat them all myself!

So yesterday morning began the sweet stuff. Two batches of chocolate chip cookies, 2 pans of 7-layer cookies, 2 pans of fudge! I still have to make the dough for Aunt Frances' Christmas Tree cookies. I saved the biggest PITA for last. I need to make it today so I can refrigerate it overnight. Then tomorrow while the kiddos are at school and daycare I can start the baking. Ella is really indifferent to the baking ... she's much more into the decorating. It will be so much easier that way! They are basically a vehicle for buttercream frosting. Mmmmmmmmmmm....its not Christmas to me without them, even though they really are a very large pain in the butt to make. The stand mixer makes it at least tolerable. I can't believe I used to make them with just a wooden spoon and elbow grease.

I am officially off now until January 5th. January 5th-8th I am in DC at a conference. January 9th is my usual Friday off, meaning I don't have to set foot in my office again until January 12th! The kids are still in school/daycare through Tuesday. So Monday and Tuesday will be my pull it all together days and then we get to just relax and enjoy the holidays.

Marriage is a good thing ... for all

Marriage to me is not a religious institution, perhaps that is why I can't for some reason get my mind around our government either allowing discrimination against same sex couples or preferential treatment of those of us who happen to be heterosexual. I just don't get it. Really I don't. Not even a little bit.

Surely marriage is a spiritual union, but that doesn't necessarily preclude nonspiritual couples from getting married. There is no quiz. Well, unless you are catholic. My reasons for wanting to be married to my husband really have little to do with church or God. His have absolutely nothing to do with church or God. Yet, we aren't forbidden from marrying.

Churches and clergy should absolutely be able to choose who they will and will not marry. I am more than fine with this, being the big supporter of the separation of church and state that I am. I know, perhaps the founding fathers were on to something!

Opponents would say that our founding fathers never imagined a world where same sex marriage would be an issue. You know what, I am pretty sure they never imagined a world where people of different races would want to marry. That is the beauty of our Constitution. It is flexible, adaptable, a living document.

40 years ago in Virginia I would not have been allowed to marry my husband. 40 years ago. Think about that. 40 years ago in Virginia the police broke into the house of an interracial couple to try to catch them in the act so that they could be arrested. Loving v. Virginia. Look it up. It took the United States Supreme Court to put an end to what we now look back on as unbelievable, hideous discrimination.

Caroline County Sheriff R. Garnett Brooks rousted them from their bed at 2 a.m. in July 1958 and told them the District's marriage certificate was no good in Virginia. They pleaded guilty, and Caroline County Circuit Court Judge Leon M. Bazile sentenced them to a year's imprisonment, to be suspended if they left the state for the next 25 years.

"Almighty God created the races white, black, yellow, malay and red, and he placed them on separate continents. And but for the interference with his arrangement there would be no cause for such marriages. The fact that he separated the races shows that he did not intend for the races to mix," Bazile ruled.

Seriously! Less than a generation ago people truly believed this was acceptable thinking. Judges for goodness sake. It is my hope that it won't take another 40 years to put an end to the same type of discrimination against same sex couples. No one is asking for special rights, only equal rights. That, my friends, is guaranteed by our Constitution.

If you want to protect the sanctity of marriage then you should seriously be also talking about making divorce illegal, or at a minimum MUCH more difficult to obtain. The hypocrisy of our lawmakers, many of whom are on marriage #2 or #3, who in one breath say the marriage must be protected but in their own real lives (which will never be impacted by this denial of rights) live in a way that is inconsistent with their edicts, blows my mind. If you are going to deny rights to some, while allowing it for others, you better have a DAMNNNNNED good reason for it and so far I have yet to hear one argument that doesn't sound like it came out of a pastor's mouth. That's just not good enough for me. I am not talking about a church being forced to condone something that is completely opposite of the belief system. I am talking about a government denying a fundamental and basic right to a subset of the population. I need a better reason than God and the bible say its wrong ... because God and the bible say a lot of things are wrong that we do everyday. No more cherry picking!

Random Things...

1) 184 days/6 months - That's how long I have until I return to STJ ... my happy place. Even though I was just there in August and last November (barely more than a year ago) it feels like its been an eternity. Why is that?

2) The Wii is addictive. I have a problem. Its a good problem to have I suppose, better than a crack habit for sure, but it is weird. I do not like to exercise. I enjoy how I feel AFTER I exercise but the process bores me. Not the Wii. Especially the Wii Fit. Other than it telling me to obvious difficult news that my BMI is not that of Cindy Crawford and I have a ways to go, it is FUN. Even for someone like me, with exercise ADHD! I am a little OCD about it. I always, ALWAYS, start with strength training, then aerobics (boxing, hula hooping, or running --- usually 2 of the 3 sometimes all three like today), then balance (like Ski jumping ... where I am the current reigning champion and skiing where I suck worse than Ella), then yoga. All in all it takes about 50 minutes and it flies! Amazing.

3) I can't wait for Wednesday and Thursday to be over. I am also working on Friday, but I get to do it from home in my PJs so it doesn't really count to me. After Friday I won't be back in the office until January 12th. I have a conference in there, but its not "THE OFFICE"! Its not like I don't like my work, I do. Its just that I think I REALLY need a break to clear my mind and lower my stress/frustration/fly off the handle level.

4) As usual I have overcommited my holiday time, but I am so looking forward to all the family and friend time.

• The fav nephew comes home Friday.
• Saturday is a birthday celebration for my BFF KK at the National Harbor.
• Christmas Eve we'll continue a 3 (or 4) year tradition of dinner with KK and her hubby.
• Christmas Day we'll do our Santa thing, have a big breakfast that will hold us over until we go to my brother in law's for dinner.
• December 26th my godmother and her family arrive and we'll have the huge traditional Christmas spread. Maggie will be staying on for a few days to hang out with the kids and me.
• New Years Eve we are having a little gathering of friends. I have a feeling its all going to be kind of a blur!

Joyful Holidays to all .... and to all a good night.

And I Swore I'd NEVER torture my children!

From start to finish the torture only took about 10 seconds. He was absolutely 100% fine until I sat him down and stepped away. The photo guy freaked asking if I wanted to take a walk and try again in a few minutes. NO, take the picture!!!

I had two rapidly snapped pictures to choose from, this one, and the first one which showed Ella giving Max the "what the hell is your problem?" look. The "DO YOU KNOW WHO THIS GUY IS?" look. I slightly regret not getting that one. But I do not at all regret getting this one. I am so sorry if that makes me a bad mama!

You can pretty much tell from this picture who has been naughty and who has been nice this year! Just kidding they are both amazing kids, usually!

Boys!

Things I now know about boys for sure ... since I now have one of my own.

Before Max's addition, our home was very nicely balanced to the advantage of the ladies. Our only child, dog, and fish were all of the female variety. Hung only occasionally had a brother in arms when nephew Andy was in residence. Otherwise, he was soundly outnumbered and smartly didn't even try to fight the estrogen power. Max doesn't have the perspective or the sense to do the same.

1) Boys don't mind being dirty. They may even prefer it. Spagetti sauce from head to toe. Not a problem.

2) They are messy eaters. This explains why often now I just take his shirt off before dinner. I know it sounds wrong but there is only so much spraynwash can do!

3) Boys are not touchy feely. This doesn't mean they aren't NEEDY. When they need something (all ladies with husbands know this) they can be really needy, but in general they don't need/crave/want the hugging and kissing and reassurance that girls seem to crave.

4) They like hanging out without a shirt on. If they do have a shirt on, they prefer it have a cape.

5) The Car thing is hardwired. Max took one look at his dad's car collection once his eyes could focus and fell in love. He will do ANYTHING to get a car from the shelves of cars. ANYTHING.

6) They eat A LOT. I have no idea how I will afford to feed him when he's 6 much less 16 if this continues.

7) They are fairly simple. Feed them, keep them warm and they are set.

8) They LOVE Lego's. I fear I will never get all the Lego's or cars put away at one time again and that my house will always somewhat look like a Lego bomb went off in a junk yard.

9) They are incredibly sweet...when they want to be.

10) They are silly. They laugh at the most ridiculous things. I think this is related to #7.

11) They are of few words. Max understands EVERY single thing we say to him. He will listen and act accordingly, but he has very little need or desire to speak to us. (Ella on the other hand rarely STOPS speaking to us). Everything that is going on in their little head is very apparent in their faces if you just pay close enough attention. They use the corresponding face for the corresponding emotion ... all of the time!

and most importantly,

12) There will never be a woman born into the world that is good enough for them in their mama's eyes.

Welcome Winter

Nothing says "f you, winter" like a trip to the beach! So we packed up the kiddies and headed to Virginia Beach for the long weekend after Thanksgiving. We stayed in a beautiful new two bedroom condo on the oceanfront courtesy of our ownership in a sister timeshare. Of course they were trying to upsell us but for a virtually free 2 night stay on the ocean, even in late November, I am all for it.

I love the ocean. Any season, I still love it. We lucked out and the weather was fairly mild - 60s for the first day and 50s for the second. We had a great time just relaxing and enjoying the quietness of the beach in Winter.

We enjoyed the drive through light show on the boardwalk, pizza in from Pi (possibly the best pizza I've ever had) and a great dinner out at the immortal Bubba's (its nicer than it sounds), but mostly we just enjoyed each other.

The Boy: 22 Months

This month Max enjoyed his first solo ice cream cone!

In only 2 months this guy is going to officially be two. I really am in shock a little that his babyhood is flying by. I won't lie and say I am the biggest fan of 0-6 months. Really I operate as if in a fog. My pregnancies are stressful. I think it takes me a good 6 months to decompress and breathe again. 6 months to 18 months is kind of tough too because they are growing so fast and changing so much that you just try to keep up, all the while trying to figure out what the heck they need/want at the given moment.

Once I get past about 1.5, I get in my comfort zone. Here I go, I'll jinx myself for sure, but I really love kids when they start to communicate and give a little with the taking. This is where we find ourselves now. There is some empathy emerging, some use for Mama and Daddy other than refilling bottles and changing diapers.

Max is emerging into quite an interesting little guy. He is clearly OCD. He loves, NO, LOVES his cars. He pronounces car as if he's from Boston ... Caaaaaaah. Actually more like CAAAAAH!!!!

He likes them in all shapes and sizes. He likes them to surround his plate when he eats. He likes to line them up and then crash them into each other. He likes anything about them. I did nothing, absolutely nothing, to encourage this behavior. I blame his father. Both his OCD (the cars have to be arranged just so) and his love of cars were in-born. He is so hard-headed. Gets that from both sides. He's also sweet. After he lashes out and tosses a car at your head, if you express distress he truly does feel sorry and will come over and rub you as if to say are you alright?

He is a complete dare devil. We spent the weekend, post-Thanksgiving, in Virginia Beach. Our resort had a great indoor pool. He didn't hesitate to walk off the edge and into the pool. Repeatedly. I suppose he just knew someone would catch him. Luckily daddy was there to oblige. He really likes torturing me by doing things like this. Tonight he stepped off the couch into thin air. He kind of tucked and rolled and major injury was averted. Me: "Are you ok??" Him: popping up and brushing it off, "K!" Now, if any of us exclaim in pain or cough he looks at us and says, "K?" See, compassion...

He had his first two temper tantrums last month, I didn't report on them in the Month 21 report thinking if I didn't acknowledge them perhaps they would go away. This month that theory seems to be working. We'll see how this pans out at we approach 2.

I know the terrible 2s are what most parents dread. I don't. I LOVE this age. Perhaps it had something to do with Ella never actually hitting that tantrum-y crazed 2 phase. She just didn't. I mean she had a few meltdowns here and there but typically entirely our fault in that we'd either over exhausted her, kept her up far past her bedtime, forgot to feed her or just generally did something stupid. I don't consider those tantrums, I consider them negative reinforcements from child to parent for dumb parenting behavior. Our kids have taught us so much more than we'll ever be able to teach them.

So....I am fastening my seat belt and planning to very much enjoy the ride.

Giving Thanks

I have so, so, so many things to be thankful for this season. Two years ago this time I still had a baby in my belly who we were not sure would be ok. His health and life are enough to make me grateful for a lifetime. I am so lucky to have the most intelligent, sweet, and adorable daughter in the world. A girl who happily splits her candy with you, insisting you get the bigger half! I have a tolerant, hard-working and loving husband who puts up with me and seems to love me more now than he did 17 years ago when we met. He knows me inside out and still somehow loves me. He gave me a beautiful family and a happy, safe home. I have the most giving mother in the world who is the best grandmother our children could ever have.

I have the most wonderful Godmother who always welcomes us into her home (at holidays and throughout the year) with such warmth and attention. The Thanksgiving spread this year was incredible, especially my favorite coconut cake. There is always more than enough to eat, games to be played, memories to be shared. She is the ultimate hostess in that you want for nothing while you are there and she makes it all seem effortless. I hope she knows how much we appreciate how much work we know she puts into making us feel so at home in her home. I love spending time with her and my Maggie! 15! Wow, where does the time go. I remember when I lived with them during graduate school, which seems like just yesterday, and Maggie was just about Max's age. She was always the sweetest, most adorable girl. I remember dropping her off at the MCV daycare, her big bubblegum eyes in my rear view mirror so excited to get to go with me!

I am also beyond blessed by my friends who are just the most gifted, smart, talented and true people in the world. I am so lucky. Life is good. Happy late Thanksgiving y'all!