Formalities

I recently realized how amiss I have been in formal documentation of the kiddos. Of course, I live up to my rep as the Mamarazi and have thousands of candids, however, I didn't have a SINGLE FORMAL picture of Max or Max & Ella together.  As a matter of fact the last formal pictures we had done were of Ella when she was 6 months old. Thank goodness for school pictures!


Well I rectified this situation over the weekend. I picked up a living social deal for the Picture People for $18! Of course, I couldn't settle on just one picture so I had to get the CD of all the images as well for another $75. I figured $93 was still a very good deal. I loved almost every shot. The photographer was great and immediately put both kiddos at ease. I could not believe what a ham Max was. I should not have been surprised but he genuinely seemed to enjoy himself.  It was hilarious to watch! 

3rd Quarter, 4th Grade....

Well, I haven't really blogged much (if at all) about it, but 4th grade got off to a rough start.  At the end of the first quarter, our normally bubbly, sweet, inquisitive girl was just not herself.  Noticing something was off, I touched base with her teacher, only to find out her teacher seemed to think Ella had a litany of issues.  Let's just say my email folder dedicated to Ella's school work from K-4th grade has 137 emails in it. 90+ of those are from the 4th grade alone.  Mostly mid-October through early December.

I knew from back to school night that we had a process oriented teacher on our hands. I thought to myself, this could go well or not so well at all.  I hoped for the best. Well, the best was not to be. By the time I reached out to the teacher, we were seeing a real sadness and disconnect in Ella. She didn't want to go to school and mentioned that she felt like her teacher didn't think she was very smart. Well, being the mom I am, I immediately touched base with the teacher to find out what her perspective was. Well, in a nutshell, she thought Ella was "slow" ... no actually "verrrrrrry slow" ... um, ok.  So 7-8 weeks into the school year, Ella was having serious issues and no one had bothered to contact me. This kid who is off the charts on her test scores, in the advanced academic program, etc, etc...is now slow.  And ya didn't think to pick up the phone or send a note home.

I immediately requested an in-person meeting, just to have my worst fears confirmed and compounded. Advanced academics (AAP) --- "well, I am not sending her to those sessions because she would fall behind in her language arts." Me: "So what are they studying in Language Arts?" Her: "Well, they WILL learn their cursive this year."  So you are telling me you are holding back this kid from what is stimulating to her to learn cursive and you are telling me she seems disconnected, slow and unstimulated. Hum. Shocking. Oh and by the way, removing a kid in the Fairfax County system from AAP once they have been screened into the program, so completely NOT allowed. It is very difficult to get in and once you are in, you are in for good. Think of the unconscious message Ella was receiving when the other kids her teacher deemed worthy were leaving class multiple times a week for AAP and she was not.

Anyway, long story short, Amy went on the warpath.  You know that saying about the squeaky wheel? Well, it turns out, that it is totally true.  Several meetings, much documentation and research, and some very clear guidelines and expectations (OF THE TEACHER and the SCHOOL as well as of Ella) later...things amazingly enough improved.  Ella's demeanor improved, the teacher began to recognize some of Ella's strengths, AAP resumed, and low and behold her grades went straight back up to where they should have been all along.

Here's the take-away. You are your child's best advocate. No one else will lobby on their behalf. It was difficult for me, in a way, because I do not want to be disliked, I do not want to make a scene or cause a stir. However, in this case, it was absolutely necessary. I think this was one of those defining moments in Ella's life that she will forever remember. She was being wronged, in one of the most serious of ways. Treated as if she were damaged and unintelligent. That is something that just will never happen on my watch.

Love this Boy!

This guy is a trooper! Allergies are seriouslykicking his butt. Not since he was about 2 have they been this bad. The boy who never naps is taking 3 hour naps EVERY DAY. The boy who loves to go outside, refuses.

For the past two days (despite the Zyrtec, the albuterol, the pulmicort, and the added in benedryl for good measure) his poor eyes have been swollen and his nose is a-running!

Unfortunately, last night we got the addition of a nose bleed! Poor guy didn't even wake up. I thought he'd fallen asleep with chocolate in his mouth. This morning he noticed a little blood on his blanket. His FAVORITE blankie! Did he complain about the messy face or the meds he had to take this am, no.

All he asked me this morning was, "'mama, can you please wash my favorite blankie today?"

I would do anything to make you feel better little man.

A Care Package is Going Down Under, Mate!!

About a month ago one of my BESTIES moved far, far, far away. Literally down under, Mate! For a guy. A lovely guy. The love of her life, truly. I am SOOOOOO happy for her and I am equally missing her every day. She is the bud who is always up for anything, anytime, anywhere. I miss that spontaneity and joy. It is not that I don't have equally lovely, awesome girl friends. I count myself lucky to have so many girls that I love and adore who seem to love me too!

She also happens to be a woman who life handed some serious lemons. Shitty, shitty lemons. And I am here to tell you she emerged not only with lemonade but with a place in my heart as one of the strongest, lovingest, coolest girls in the world. I don't know if I could have emerged 1/2 as intact as she did from her situation. I am just proud to know her and to be a part of her life.

Shoshie is one of a kind. Always bright, always determined and uniquely joyfully, completely HER. I miss her energy. I miss our sleepovers where I would invariably find her early the next morning, nose in my pantry, seeking out what sugary cereals I have. I miss her telling me how good a mom I am because 1) I let my kids eat lucky charms (though they have the good sense to generally choose better - Ella's fav is rice krispies!) and 2) because I have a CANDY DRAWER, a fully stocked candy drawer, where again they always ask first and often emerge with one innocent piece (typically a hershey kiss for Ella and more often than not Max's idea of "candy" is the orange flavored sugar free certs!). Did I mention I love my kids! Give them a variety of choices, nothing is completely 100% off limits and damn if they don't make good choices at least 75% of the time. That is more than I can say for myself.

Anyway, back to Shoshie. Seems though the love of her life, for reals, is down under, many of her other loves are not! No peeps. No LUCKY CHARMS. Pathetic selection of dryer sheets and softeners. No bath and body works! The horror! All I can say is she must really love that guy :-)

So, this brings me to care package time. I hope she enjoys a little taste and smell of home!

Cool shot

This is a shot taken on our February trip to Orlando (UNIVERSAL CITY WALK in case you couldn't tell from the shot). What is striking is that Ella is not standing straight up, but wow she looks tall to me. Standing up straight the top of her head is at Hung's chin. CRAZY.

She is only almost 10, but she looks more like 12-13. Scary!

Crazy Busy

It has been too long, I know. I thought it was writer's block but then I realized it was just life. Somehow it takes on a mind of it's own when you have a husband, two kids, a dog, a cat and a household to maintain and keep together. If something has to slide, it has to be the blog. Sad, but true.

Add to that the advent of "so easy to share everything" facebook and blogging just seems, well so damn time consuming. It really isn't that there isn't anything to write about, it is that other things are a higher priority.

So where were we, or better, where are we.

Sweet (not so) little Max turned 5. He didn't even get a proper Dear Max letter. I don't think he minds. He's too busy being 5. He is very much the apple of mama's eye. He is obsessed, no OBSESSED, NO OBSESSED with all things Lego and Star Wars. And Butt cheeks. I have to write that because otherwise I will forget. No matter what I say or do, he is all about the butt cheeks. He thinks it is the funniest thing in the world to say to anyone. I'll say I love you and he'll say "I love your butt cheeks" and run off giggling. Silly, silly boy.

How it has happened that he is now F-I-V-E is beyond me. Kindergarten is coming. Oh so quickly it is coming. He is ready. I am not sure I am. It seems that once they get on that yellow bus they really are not babies anymore, no matter how hard you try to convince yourself they are.

I am very proud of him (and his sister for that matter) for how polite and kind and true to themselves they are. If they continue along this path, their lives will be full and happy.

Ella is amazing. After a rough beginning to 4th grade, she is doing very well. We didn't quite see eye to eye with her teacher in the beginning, but we have created an environment where Ella is excelling as we know she should and, more importantly, where she is happy.

Our other kid, Butter Dog, turned 14 on February 22nd. Her health took a sudden and dramatic turn for the worse shortly thereafter, but we seem to have been granted a reprieve and she is doing much better. I know we are on borrowed time and that she has had a full and happy life. Still, I can't quite imagine our lives, our family unit, our house, without her. I know it is just a matter of time, but still it is completely unfathomable. She is comfortable and interested in food again and we are grateful. Any extra time we get with her is treasured.

As for me, this year has been a flurry or work-related trips and just keeping it all together on the home front. January to Boston, February to Orlando, and March to Montreal. Now I am home for a while. Next up, San Diego in July/August. I've made it through the dreary, and thankfully, super mild winter and Spring has sprung in Washington.

Breakfast...

Pretty pathetic, no?! I have hit such a writers block I am posting a picture of one of my favorite new things. Peanut Butter Cherrios!

I miss vacation

I wish I were still there

Her Laughter is Contagious

So this is my blog. And, that there, up there, is my daughter. I talk about her a lot on here. Mostly, because she is probably the MOST interesting person I know. That is her smile. It accompanies the heartiest, silliest, belliest of laughs. I love it.

This was taken last Friday afternoon as we enjoyed one of our many GIRLS ONLY (mostly because we don't tell Max where we are going just that we have an appointment) coffee dates. Ok, so the coffee is for me...she's usually a vanilla milk kind of girl. Occasionally, we splurge with a mocha for mama and a vanilla bean frappaccino for her.

I am so lucky to have her in my life. I know she has taught me more than any book or class or life experience to date. She is open and wise beyond her years, yet simple and kind and just plain good company. I hope she loves me like I love my mama when she is my age. I know we'll have our rough patches (supposedly...or so everyone says) but I have a feeling we'll always enjoy each other's company more than just about anyone else's.

That's all for today. I just felt the need to pour out some Ella love.

Just another day at the office

The way I WISH I dressed!

Just another day at the office by aefarris featuring a red bag

Shirts blouse
triercopenhagen.com

Alexander McQueen boot cut pants
$875 - farfetch.com

Nicholas Kirkwood platform pumps
$639 - mytheresa.com

Sambag red bag
265 AUD - thegrandsocial.com.au

Chunky bracelet
$50 - reissonline.com

Armani Exchange chain link necklace
$28 - armaniexchange.com

Oasis crystal earrings
£16 - oasis-stores.com

Kate spade
$40 - nordstrom.com

A New Addiction: Polyvore

Thanks Internet, because what I really needed was yet another way to waste entire days!

Neutral Fall Day by aefarris featuring vintage jewelry

French Connection blouse
impressionen.de

Levi's blue jeans
£85 - houseoffraser.co.uk

Nine West flat heels
$79 - ninewest.com

Ivanka Trump flap bag
$150 - macys.com

Nadri vintage jewelry
$248 - nordstrom.com

Forever21 teardrop jewelry
$3.80 - forever21.com

Chloé Love Chloé EDP 30ml
£40 - harveynichols.com

OPI SAMOAN SAND NAIL LACQUER (15ml)
£7.95 - lookfantastic.com

First Day of School

I am week late but I couldn't let the first day of 4th grade go undocumented! I can't believe my baby girl is now in the 4th grade. Officially 1/2 way to graduation. So far, she seems to love her teacher, who has been with the school for 18 years. Ella declared she is from Illinois like her gramma so she must be nice!

Ella's school journey has been interesting so far and we have found teachers make all the difference in the world! Though she has always been VERY mature for her age, sometimes she struggles a little with structure and focus. She loves science, and aced ... as in perfect 600 out of 600 on her standards of learning test last year.

I am always amazed that no matter how much she grows and develops and changes, she stays the same. Her sweet spirit, her intense curiousity, her love of animals -- stuffed and real. Her desire to know and understand everything from every angle. She started asking questions that I almost couldn’t answer by the time she was 3. She still challenges me every day. She makes me a better person.

A 911 Free Zone

When i despair, I remember that all through history the ways of truth and love have always won. There have been tyrants, and murderers, and for a time they can seem invincible, but in the end they always fall. Think of it -- always. - Gandhi

This weekend we decided to decamp to gramma's. Between the insane weather (earthquake, hurricane, and monsoon rains and flooding the likes of which I have never seen in my 38 years of life and 12+ years in Northern Virginia) and the nonstop chatter about the 10th Anniverary of September 11th and the credible but uncomfirmed threat of something, I had HAD it.

Gramma's promised peace, quiet and a virtual media blackout. I know many people who really struggle with 9/11. The media coverage literally hurting them. I have come to realize, I lived it - I saw and smelled the smoke pouring out of the Pentagon. I had that frantic moment when I couldn't reach my husband or family. I don't need the media to help me relive it with images on the tv screen and audio from emergency calls.

I can not imagine how I would feel if I had lost a loved one in the tragedy. I didn't. I certainly think the media is doing what they do and for every one person who feels the coverage is too much, I am sure there are many who believe just as strongly that it will never be enough. I have to respect both sentiments and make the choices that are best for me. For me, this year, that was largely tuning it out.

I consider myself so lucky. The horror of that day was wedged between a Labor Day weekend with my husband in the Big Easy and the happy news that we were expected our first baby. While most everyone was preoccupied with the aftermath of the day, I was easily distracted by the impending changes coming to my life and family. This is not to say that I did not mourn for this country, deeply feel the impact of the attack, or grieve what our country had lost. I certainly did. It impacted me just as it has impacted anyone who lived through it, whether in New York City, Washington, DC, Pennslyvania or Oregon for that matter. You didn't have to be here, you didn't have to smell the smoke or hear the sirens first-hand to know that something had forever changed that day in our national consciousness.

I was happy for my distraction. I think it made the event less intense or less searing for me. I had the most certain sign that life would and does go on. No matter what.

It is amazing to me what the last decade has brought in my own life. Not one, but two, beautiful, happy, funny, quirky, brilliant (I am not bragging it is just a fact) children. A solidified career. Deep, abiding friendships. Travels and experiences that are imprinted forever on my soul.

So, forgive me, if this September instead of delving into what could have been, what was lost and what great suffering was exacted on this nation, instead I turn my focus to the beauty that is and always will be.

Adios, Amigos

Today is the day. I am heading out at 8:45pm tonight for Spain. Dulles-Heathrow-Barcelona. Barcelllllona. I can't wait. I am nervous with anticipation. I travel quite a bit between pleasure and work, but rarely alone. Of course, I am only alone getting there and back, as I am meeting my good friends, Kate and Shosh, there. Still, I am a bit anxious....it is what I do. I am silly.

Daddy is set to take on the kiddos for 10 days. I think everything possible is in place as best as it can be.

We are set for 3 days in Barcelona, then we fly to Lisbon for 3 days/2 nights, then on to Seville for a night in Tarifa (southernmost town in Spain) and then on to Seville for 3 more nights. Then I come home. We have a loose itinerary but mostly we plan to just go with what moves us on any particular day.

Looking forward to many tapas and spanish wine! See you on the flip-side.

A St. John Retrospective