Dress Rehearsal

Tomorrow is the big day: Halloween. But today is "Storybook Character" day at Ella's school. Don't get me started on the you can't call it Halloween. Anyway, she decided to go as Tinkerbell (because we had to have the book to go with the costume).

Time will tell whether she wants to reprise Tinkerbell tomorrow or go with her actual costume - a maiden, which she has declared: "Kind of boring, mama!"

Today also marked our first attempt at a bun. Because, well DUH, Tinkerbell had a bun!

124 Sticks of Butter

For some reason, way back in the day, I started the habit of tracking weight loss in sticks of butter. I think it started with thinking that went something like this, "Ugh I have been doing so well and I only lost a 1/4 of a pound!" Then someone, I think it was my godmother, said to me "That's a stick of butter." That visual helps focus me and makes what seems so insignificant actually mean something. Silly, but effective.

Slowly, beginning in college, I started accumulating extra weight. Too much Domino's not enough basketball. I was NEVER overweight as a child or in high school, so it came as a bit of a surprise to me when my metabolism couldn't keep up with me anymore. I was never skinny, but I was athletic and fit. In graduate school I lost a significant amount of weight and then I moved in with my now husband and it started to creep back on. Do you ever wonder why that so often happens to women? Anyway, I know exactly what I weighed at the end of high school, exactly what I weighed the day I got married, what I weighed the day I found out I was pregnant with Ella, at the end of my pregnancy, after I had her, when I got pregnant with Max, at the end of that pregnancy, and after I had him. I suspect this is a woman thing as well. The weight had gone on and off, but was on a steady march upward. After both kids, I got back down to my pre-pregnancy (over) weight status with in a month or two. It probably helped that I only gained about 17 pounds with each. But soon, slowly, within 6 months or so, it would start creeping back up. There was just no excuse for me to see my weight heading to almost where I was at the END of my pregnancies. 2 years later. It was time to stop thinking "oh this is baby weight!" Delusions and denial! At various points I truly just didn't care, or was too tired to deal with it, or too busy focusing on my kids and other priorities.

In January I decided to commit myself to being healthier. It all started with the approach of my husband's term life insurance renewal and just a general feeling of UGH. On and off back pain, fatigue, sluggishness. Though weight loss isn't the end all be all it certainly couldn't HURT me and if I was lucky it could make me feel significantly better.

The Hubs has always been a "I'll work out and eat whatever I want" kind of guy. Well, work out all you want but if you are burning 400 calories in the gym and then consuming a 1000 calorie burrito at lunch, guess what? You are gonna gain weight. In his case he had an extra 20 pounds or so. I, on the other hand, well we'll just not go there. I am a pretty straight forward person but not quite that open!

We both started, slowly, to make small changes. Mostly changes related to our diet. He dropped 25 pounds in about 5 months and has maintained that for another few. He's a dude. I swear they think about losing weight and it falls off.

I, on the other hand, between January and March, lost five pounds and then gained ten. What the hell! And then a switch flipped in my brain. It wasn't so much an aha moment as I have known all along the HOW of losing weight, but it was as if my way of thinking when it comes to food completely shifted. Let's face it ... WE all know how to lose weight. I had lost 40 pounds back in grad school 12 years ago. But even then, it wasn't really a lifestyle change for me. The shift had not occurred. I was as obsesssssed with food as ever and not comfortable in my decisions, not confident in my direction. And let's also be honest, I like food too much to ever subsist on a salad and water diet. It just would never work long-term for me.

I am not sure what happened, believe me I have considered that I have some illness causing the weight loss, but I believe that I simply relate to food differently now. I still eat. I still have an appetite. I still LOVE great food, good wine and a dessert every once in a while.

So many people have asked me, "What are you doing?" as if I have some secret mysterious weight loss trick. I don't. Starting in April, when the mental shift occurred I began to believe that I could do this. Just as I am great at gaining weight, I could be great at losing it. If I really wanted to, like everything else in my life, I would make it happen. It just had to be my real priority.

Starting in April I have slowly ... OH SO SLOWLY ... but also steadily trimmed the bod. 31 pounds in 6 months, or an average of a pound a week. Many weeks I lose nothing. Other weeks I lose 2 or even 3 pounds. More often I lose a quarter of a pound one week and a third of a pound the next. Teeny, tiny, baby steps. I am still only about half of the way to where ultimately I would like to be, but I am confident I can get there. I would LOVE to lose another 124 sticks of butter (that's another 31 pounds to those who aren't good with math), but I would be satisfied with 80 sticks or another 20 pounds. I am determined to continue to take it one step at a time and seeing where it goes. Max weighed 38 pounds this past January when he turned two, so I am using that as my next milestone. 7 pounds to go. Imagine that, a pretty big monkey I am no longer carrying around on my back!

Here's what I have learned so far:

1. Less is More. I would rather have less of something I reallllllly love than more of some "diet" option. I like real half&half in my coffee, I don't trust non-fat milk products, I don't like sugar free treats. I'd rather have one real brownie than ten snackwells.

2. Ditch the Soda. I drink a ton of water, I still hit starbucks about 3 times a week, I no longer drink soda or sugary drinks. I might have 2 Coke Zeros a week. This change alone probably accounts for a good ten pounds.

3. Exercise, while helpful, isn't Required. Let's be honest, moving your ass helps. If I exercised routinely I would probably be much further along than I am, but for me, working out in a gym 3-5 times a week isn't realistic and it is not something I think I could maintain long term. I do not want to do this in a way that I won't be able to maintain. I think it would just set me up for furture failure. I don't enjoy it. It takes time away from my family. This doesn't mean I am not active. I am. My activity revolves around dancing in the living room with my kids, helping Max pedal his little police car around the driveway. Things I enjoy that I can easily work into my life.

4. Only Make Changes that are Sustainable. I made the decision in April I was going to do this with real food. I would rather take 2 years to get where I want to be by doing things I can maintain for the rest of my life, than to lose 50 pounds in 6 months because I am having a shake for lunch or taking some pill. Yes, a quick rapid visible change is more motivational perhaps, but its not lasting. As soon as you revert to normal eating, the weight comes back. How discouraging is that? No thank you.

5. Do it for Yourself. Don't do it because the wedding is coming up or the reunion. Or because you want to look better for your sigfig. Or because you want to make your ex jealous. Do it for YOU. Its ok if you do it because YOU want to look better for YOU. There is not a cookie in the world worth feeling good in your own skin. I did this for me. All the other stuff will fall into line when you approach it this way.

6. Do not expect Perfection. This is a hard one for me. I like to do stuff perfectly. Life isn't perfect. Sometimes you are going to have a bad week. Sometimes you'll have a great week and it won't show up on the scale. I stopped letting that sabotage me. I kept doing what I was doing and sure enough it would show up a few weeks later.

7. Trader Joe's Is Your friend. I LOVE Trader Joe's. Many of their products have become staples of our diet. Yummy, fresh and truly unique dishes make all the difference and stave off the I can't eat another carrot tantrum. I make their teriyaki BBQ chicken mixed with their schezwan string beans and it tastes just like chinese take out without all the heavy oil and msg.

8. Treat Yourself. I have continued to drink wine. I have had bi-monthly dinners out with my BFF that includes a blooming onion (I KNOW bad) and a ribeye. I have gone to Ray's the Steaks and been to birthday parties where I had a slice of cake and a piece of pizza or two. I have gone on two vacations. Still, I have managed to move in the right direction.

I have found that it is all about trade-offs and doing it in a way that you can keep up for the long term. Again, NOT Rocket Science. Nothing here is earth-shattering news! If it is worth doing it is worth a little bit of work. It is not the two teaspoons of sugar in my coffee or a slice of pizza now or then that put on the weight to begin with, more likely the 1/2 a pizza, the not caring enough to think about what I was putting in my mouth. I eat well and balanced more often than I don't. That has made all the difference in the world.

Parent Teacher Conference Time

Today it was time for the fall parent teacher conference. I had taken the time to sit down one-on-one with her teacher about a month ago to give her the heads up about Ella's, for lack of better words, learning style. Ella is smart. Very smart. This we know. However, she has so much in her brain that I sometimes worry she won't be able to demonstrate her intelligence in traditional ways.

So her teacher, about 2 minutes into the conference says, "I have never had a student quite like Ella." At first I was concerned, by the end I understood exactly what she was trying to say to me. Ella was the only kid she has taught who knew during the standard 2nd grade science experiment that the magnet wouldn't stick to a penny. As her teacher put it, "That's the point of the experiment, they all think the penny will stick." Ella had explained, "A penny is copper and a metal needs iron to stick to a magnet, sort of like a meteorite." Yes, this so comes from her dad.

BUT she needs to work on her focus! REALLY needs to work on it. When the teacher looks at you, points to her head and says "if we could get whats in here on paper, WOW" I take it as a compliment, but also a challenge! I just don't want her to be one of those crazy smart people with zero attention span, but I'll take it over dumb as a post and very focused! I am just glad her teacher gets her and is fascinated instead of annoyed. She kept saying, "I am trying to figure her out." I was thinking....good luck with that!

Last week they had standardized testing. Basically, intelligence testing using spatial relations, games and problems that do not require verbal or written skills. I like that her teacher is interested enough in how her brain works to have watched her closely during the testing. She paid particular attention to some of the tougher, trickier questions and saw that Ella was marking them correctly. We are both very curious to see what her test scores indicate. Her lack of focus could do her in, but she came home everyday of the three day testing saying it was easy stuff.

The thing I love most about her is she explains/expresses her intelligence so nonchalantly. Never does she say it with even the slightest indication that she thinks you are a total idiot for not knowing what she knows. She is not a know it all. She just knows stuff. A LOT OF STUFF.

Her teacher also indicated that Ella is her little fact sharer. She routinely shares random facts with her teacher to which her teacher typically responds, "How do you know that? Did you see it on TV or read it in a book?" Ella usually says she doesn't know how she knows she just knows. Again, further evidence in my book for reincarnation!

Today she was line leader so she decided to tell the teacher a joke. Where do sheep like to go for vacation? The Baaaaa-hamas. When asked where she heard that joke, she said, "In my brain!"

I am so pleased with her teacher. Ella is one of those kids that a teacher can make or break. Well not really, cause she's not breakable ... but you know what I mean. A teacher who sees beyond the "did she finish the assignment" and really gets, or tries to anyway, what makes her tick. LOVE her.

Politics Aside...

This just should not happen. It is wrong.

In 2007, nearly two-thirds of all bankruptcies in the U.S. were tied to medical debt, and nearly 80% of those who filed for protection were insured at onset of illness.

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Cool Shot

Recovery

Today's DOW climb to 10,000+, for the first time in a over a year, gave me the courage to take a peek at my 401K. I had not looked since SEPTEMBER of 2008. I am really good at this denial thing.

Anyway, I was pleasantly surprised (most likely the result of very low expectations) to see that my account is back to where it was in October of 2007. So I lost a year or two. I can deal with that. Last September its total worth dropped a little more than 20%. Since then it has grown slowly but steadily.

Conversations with Max

It has begun. The transition. I know others have been saying for a while he's not a baby anymore, but I have chosen this lovely status called denial. I knew, even before Max was born, that he was to be my last baby. I knew even more clearly after our ordeal with him that it was to be my last pregnancy. My doctor, my pediatrician, my family, my friends ... they all cut me off. I don't blame them. I cut myself off. I couldn't handle the emotional roller coaster of another pregnancy, no matter what the outcome. He is a miracle and I am not one to tempt fate. Still, it is so bittersweet and I see how couples, especially mothers, say, oh just one more.

He is finally speaking in more than a combination of single words and grunts with a few hand gestures thrown in for good measure!

On the recent transition from baby crib to BIG boy bed.


He looked at me in his old (now crib-less room) and said, "Where my crib go?"

I said, "It is all gone, you are a big boy now."

He said, "I not a big boy. I a LITTLE boy."

So I said, "Where'd my baby go?"

And he turned and looked around and over both shoulders before turning back to me and saying with a shrug of the shoulders, "I don't know."

I miss my baby a little bit, but I love this new little man that is emerging!

Max's Big Boy Room

Long ago I decided when it was time for Max to move into his big boy bed, he would move down the hall to closer to his sister. Upstairs in our house we have 4 bedrooms; our master, two that share a jack and jill bathroom, and one with its own bathroom. The transition began a few weeks ago.

This:



To This:



Finally became this:

Best of the Beach

Best of our week in VA Beach. Though I will reluctantly accept that summer is over, I am still going to wear my flip-flops until my toes threaten to freeze off of my feet!

Why I Read Dooce.com Faithfully

From dooce.com:

Internet, when Leta was five months old, we let her cry herself to sleep. Hello, my name is Heather, and I am a baby killer.

I wrote about it a few times and was told in no uncertain terms that when I die and am standing at the judgment bar of God that he will not bring up all those times I had sex before I was married, or that handful of times I smoked pot and got so paranoid that I locked myself in a closet (the police wouldn't look in there!), or the fact that I find Bill Clinton really sexy, no. God is going to shake his head and ask me why I didn't love my baby. And then I'd be sentenced to share a bunk with John Gotti in a cell next to the public toilets in Hell.

....my philosophy is that you do what you have to do to make you and your family a functional unit. Whatever works.

Keep it REAL girl! Keep it real.

New STJ Countdown

Next up is a solo (semi-solo, no family) trip to STJ. I have managed to swing a virtually free trip by volunteering to puppy sit on island for a friend I have met through my travels & obsession with the island. Place to stay and car included.

Today I put a flight on hold using my Delta Frequent Flier Miles - 35K - for March 11-18.

So 160 days or so to go.

Woooooot.

All I have to cover is taxi fare from the airport to the ferry and the ferry and food and fun. SWEET!

Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world.
- Albert Einstein

Love this and what is says for my girl. I am still constantly amazed by the questions she asks. I used to think her mind just veered randomly, but I notice more how interconnected and probing her inquiries really are. I've always said I will take an imaginative (creative) child any day over one who knows a bunch of stuff or performs well on certain memorized tasks. You can teach reading, writing, and math. Creativity and imagination are unteachable.

This I call Sunday Morning

I love the look on Max's face. It's like "Where am I? Who did this?"

Happy Birthday to Kathykins...

My first very bad influence in life and one of the smartest, most caretaking women I know. Happy birthday to the woman (my godmother and 1st cousin) who introduced me to the concept of all night people's (the drug store), pointed out hookers on Broad St in Richmond, took me to get my ears pierced for the 2nd time (much to my mama's chagrin), showed me how to put on make-up and made sure I knew what a good haircut was. Thanks for the support and influence. I wouldn't be half who I am if it weren't for you!

Yes, that is a beer. Yes, that is me. Yes, I was less than 2. Someone should have been arrested! Explains a lot doesn't it?

Vancouver 2010

Nope, I am not going to the Olympics. We'll miss it by about oh 7 months or so. But I am definitely going back to Vancouver. Work takes me there in August, 2010 and we have decided to fly the family out and tack on an extra week or so in beautiful Brittish Columbia.

Frequent flier miles will get gramma, daddy, ella & max there and work will fly me roundtrip. So now for accommodations and activities. Summer is their in-season so there will be lots to do.

Tentative plans include visiting Victoria, possibly Sidney, a train trip to and an overnight in Whistler.

9/11

I always greet each September with a heart full of mixed emotions. Crisp air, cool nights, the start of school, memories of 9/11, finding out I was pregnant with Ella, finding out Max had serious life-threatening problems (in utero). I feel like I am holding my breath a little until October 1. I know its not rational, its not even conscious most of the time, it just is.

One day this summer, after a day at camp, Ella said to me, "Mama, did you know that one time crazy people took over planes and crashed them into buildings?" It was my "Oh my goodness, 9/11 will not be a reality for her, it will be a history lesson." It is sort of like the way we (my generation) feels about the Kennedy and Martin Luther King assassinations. We are impacted by them but not in the same way as our parents. Kennedy was assassinated on my mother's 13th birthday. The first hand experience shaped her differently than knowledge of it from textbooks shaped me.

Of course, her sweet little protected and nonviolent mind couldn't understand it. Just as on this day, 8 years ago and on this day, today. I still don't understand it. I probably never will understand. However, I do know, I will never forget.

A Little Before & After...HGTV style

First Day of School, First Day of School!!!!

Our Next to Last SUMMER Weekend

... (as long as Summer is defined as before you are in school)

Is it just me or did this summer FLY by? It seems like just yesterday was Ella's last day of 1st grade and here we are already with backpack, ahem, bag (she asked if she could forgo the backpack and get a one strap shoulder bag) packed for school to start in just 1 week, 1 day!

We spent our next to last summer weekend wisely. We started out on Saturday with breakfast and a trip to Lowe's. SO MUCH NICER than Home Depot. People, who worked there, actually walked up to us and ASKED IF WE NEEDED HELP! Seriously. For real. We didn't even have to go hunt them down. They just appeared. A glorious thing called customer service.

So, we decided to spend all of our home improvement money there and picked out a front storm door (I think we settled on the one pictured) and a potential back screen door. Our door to our deck is busy, all of the "simple" screen only doors were also busy. So we are not 100% sold.

Next, it was off to Chick-fil-a. Our kids love Chick-fil-a. The playground, the food, the ice cream!

Feeling brave we continued our busy day by heading to Ikea. We are getting ready to transition Max from his baby room/crib to a big boy room down the hall. Our upstairs currently laid out like so - Master bedroom with a bathroom, Max's room with a bathroom, Ella's Room and the Guest Room sharing a jack-n-jill bathroom. I think a much better arrangement would be to have the kiddos sharing the jack-n-jill, as I see it is it my duty to send them to college prepared to share. Why not start now? Freeing up the room with its own bath as the guest suite.

I have already gotten protests from the girls - aka Ella and Gram. They like sharing little section of the house, but one always ends up in the bed of the other when Gram is visiting so I see no point in weighing their opposition.

Anyway, we rounded out an excellent busy day with dinner out with friends to Mon Ami Gabi in Reston. Very yummy.

Sunday we spent recovering at the pool. All in all, perfection.

I am SO Confused

Is he a communist or a marxist or like Hitler or a Muslim? "I was very ignorant" um...maam, I think you are still pretty ignorant. These folks are pure genius. Much like Michele Bachmann, keep on talking.

Gram's New Digs!

My mama moved from her little cottage by the river to a house by the cove back in early August. Still in Urbanna. I expected the transition to be more painful. Aside from a little hip pain/arthritis from the move itself, everything has been super smooth. We packed up the kids to go visit and help her settle in some more this past weekend. By settle in, I mean, hang pictures, rearrange furniture and make Hung do work.

The usual.

Gram's old place was a-dor-able. Very cute, very sweet, very very small. TINY. Basically two rooms with a kitchen and a bathroom and a small laundry room. It was great for her when it was just her, it was supertight as our family grew. Lately, though not consciously, I found us going less and less to visit because it was just tight. Sweet, pleasant, but tight.

The new place is HUGE in comparison. Two real bedrooms, each bigger than the one in the old place. 1 1/2 baths. A nice living room and proper dining room, a real kitchen and another "bonus" cute as a button room between the two bedrooms. For now it is set up as a reading/playroom. I never realized how much difference a little extra elbow room could make.

We really enjoyed our visit and I expect now that we all have bedspace and room to breathe we'll be visiting more often. Oh, and she still has a lovely little view of the cove that leads to the bay and we can walk to most everything. There's even room for Butter!

Perfection. She loves it. We do too. Feels like the best of both worlds!

How I Feel Today

Max circa 03/2007.

Quote of the Day

I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word in reality. That is why right, temporarily defeated, is stronger than evil triumphant.

Martin Luther King, Jr.

Timeless.

2nd Grade!

Seriously, who did this? My girl is going to start the 2nd grade in about 10 days. She is so excited. All I can think is that I only have 11 years until I will be dropping her off for college! I know 11 years is a long time...but the first 7 have gone so fast. I think I might need a good cry. Just to practice.

And to think I thought she looked all grown up when she started kindergarten.

Nerves of Steel

I am not sure how to crop something from youtube but skip to 2:37 or so. How he maintains his composure is beyond me. Amazing.

I heart Juan ... even if he's in Nascar now and even if he is sometimes a little crazy. In case you don't know, Montoya is also the only driver to have competed in all three major events at Indianapolis, finishing fourth or better in each event. He finished 1st in the Indianapolis 500, 2nd in the Brickyard 400, and 4th in the US Grand Prix.

Wild WVA Weekend

My good friend has a summer house up in the mountains of WVA. Very beautiful place. Relaxing, serene, lovely.

We try to do a girls trip every summer. This year there were 7 of us. We decided to take a side trip to the WVA State Fair.

















This Goat loved me. He wanted to really LOVE me. Its ok to love your pets, just don't LOOOOVE your pets.

Next Up, Nazis

I couldn't say it any better so, Leonard Pitts: Nazi label devalues the Holocaust.

Though I will say, this is my favorite part:

"And, yes, you are even protected if you liken Obama or Bush to Hitler. Yet every time I hear that, it makes me cringe for what it says about our collective propensity for historical amnesia and our retarded capacity for reverence. Once upon a lifetime ago, 6 million people with DNA, names and faces were butchered with gleeful sadism and mechanistic dispatch. Six million people."

And, for the record, though I called former Pres. Bush (43) many things, I assure you Nazi and Communist were not among them.

Maybe its just the cynic in me, and yes I KNOW EVERYONE WHO DOESN'T LIKE OBAMA IS NOT A RACIST, but I am thinking many of these "protesters" (who couldn't form a coherent sentence explaining what it is that links Obama to Hitler, but proudly show signs of #44 defaced to look like Hitler) would rather call him something else that starts with a "N" but know they can't. Well at least not in public.

And Barney Frank gets on my last nerve sometimes, but here, at this moment, he said what needed to be said.

Communism

Well, that didn't take long. 6 months into office and the proverbial shit has really hit the fan. Is it just me or are all the people at these town hall protests strikingly similar to one another? Is the issue really health care? For some reason I think the level of ferver and frenzy may just be tapping into a bit of a deeper seated anger/hostility/resentment. Dare I say, racism?

For the most part I am doing what I can to tune it all out. I am probably more politically inclined/interested than most, but the insanity and irrationality of it all just wears me down and does nothing to improve my mood or my day.

I have great insurance, yet, yes I am 100% for health care reform. There is a lot of money at stake, and really do you think the insurance companies have your best interest at heart? Um, no. Death panel! What the hell does that have to do with the larger issue of the massive number of people either wholly uninsured or marginally insured in this country? I have Blue Cross Blue Shield. A PPO no less. When my husband recently went to the doctor about a hurt foot his doctors eyes literally popped out of her face like a cartoon character when she found out what our insurance was. And then .... she recommended surgery. Hello, do you think the fact that he has great insurance coverage had ANYTHING to do with that recommendation? Call me cynical but I do.

Back to the subject at hand, Communism. The thought that somehow Health Care reform (a public government option) will somehow eventually lead to rationing, lack of care, long waiting lists and subpar care and OHmyGOD eventually "we are just like COMMUNIST RUSSIA" kind of, just a little bit, unhinges me.

First, there is the its totally off the logic train part. People are spewing what they have been told to spew with no personal insight, thought or examination. Do they believe it? I am not sure. Does it matter to them? Nope. It bugs me to no end when I hear anyone (on either side) simply regurgitating what this blowhard or that blowhard tells them to say. It bugs me as much to hear recycled Rush Limbaugh as it does to hear recycled James Carville (though I do like to listen to the ragin' cajun Carville rant). THINK for yourselves people. Get your heads out of your asses.

Second, and even more disturbing, is the Communism/Nazism angle. I, personally, and this is just MY PERSONAL OPINION, think that what they really want to call him (the One, President Obama) is unacceptable in polite society and thus they come up with the 2nd best and somewhat socially acceptable option. Nazi. Communist. Marxist.

Perhaps, I am just particularly sensitive to the calling of someone SO OBVIOUSLY NOT any of the above, the above. Perhaps it was the conversation I had with my 70 year old immigrant mother-in-law Monday night. She's recently been diagnosed with lung cancer and with that comes a lot of thought about the end of her life, her estate, her legacy to her 5 sons and her 13 grandchildren. She has a sizable estate. She was talking about how much she wants all that she has accumulated to go to her sons and their families and how though her friends say she should spend it all or keep it for herself really all she cares about is leaving what she can to her kids. That, she says, is how her father raised her. How it is done in her family. Then, with tears in her eyes she starts to talk about her father, my husband's grandfather, and how in North Vietnam he had amassed a small fortune. He worked his fingers to the bone and scrimped and saved and everything he had he hoped would go to his children. Then communism came in and took everything. Every single house, every single piece of jewelry, every single penny. They fled from North to South Vietnam. They started over. He never recovered. Soon thereafter he began vomiting blood, broken by actual Communism. A man who had worked his entire life to amass something for his children and grandchildren to only have it swept away in a minute.

My mother in law and father in law started over in South Vietnam. They amassed a significant fortune. Had 5 sons. 5 nannies. A driver. Beautiful homes. Maids. Until again, communism, the REAL COMMUNISM, stepped in and took it all away. They fled, with only what they could carry on April 30, 1975, the day Saigon fell to the Communists (the real ones). Fortunately, my father in law had connections and got them out on one of the last boats, another miracle they all survived and all made it, eventually to the US. With nothing. Absolutely nothing but the clothes on their backs and a few pieces of jewelry that my mother in law had managed to smuggle out.

The started over, once again, from scratch. They built businesses and worked hard every day for years and years. My husband had two childhoods, maybe even three. One in Vietnam of great luxury that he doesn't even remember. He was after all just shy of 3 when they fled. One in the US scraping by with hand me downs and leftovers. And another in the US that started when he was about 15, when his parents, after many many years of hard work reestablished their financial security and began to reap the benefits of living in this great country.

So yeah, call Obama whatever you want, but please ... drop the Communist label. Have the balls to say what it is that really is bothering you about him.

Fall Projects

About a year ago, I took a long hard look at our budget. Hubby is hellbent on getting a boat next year, so I knew there would need to be a savings plan enacted and belt tightening because there is no way in HELL I am financing a boat! Period. /of story! He gets it, but still wants his damn boat thankyouverymuch.

I am not, in theory, opposed to the idea. I love boats. Love the water. Practically grew up at the marina where my mom was a secretary and time keeper and my stepfather was the head carpenter. Ran around docks and on and off of amazing yachts from about 5 on up. It was a good childhood. It also gave me very expensive taste. That said, we are looking at boats. Not Yachts. Just a boat. Not even a sleep aboard. Our approach is to get something in the smallish, towable range. Figure out what the hell we are doing and then in 2-5 years upgrade to something we can sleep on. That is the plan. Good intentions pave the way to hell is the saying, right?

Anyway, what the hell does this have to do with Fall projects. Very little, other than the fact that when I started the long range budget to work in this yet to be purchased boat, I also worked in (smartly I think) funding every quarter to 6 months for home maintenance and/or projects.

First up, something I have wanted and put off since the DAY we moved in to our house. A storm/screen door so that in the fall and spring we can open up the house and let the breeze flow through. For me it really is the little things. So that is my little Fall luxury to come. That and we are going to replace some rotten trim above our garage doors and reseal and paint all the trim around there. Not nearly as exciting as a storm door, but a necessity.

At least I have something to look forward to once the pool closes!

DMB Concert

On another note, the DMB Concert was absolutely freaking fabulous! I love him, it is true. I can't deny it. I won't even try. Anyway, he played a lot of stuff from his new album, Big Whiskey and the GrooGrux King (basically a tribute to the their deceased sax player, Leroi Moore). He also played some very old stuff that I had forgtten about. Above is my favorite song from the concert (this version is from 2000), he rarely plays it live and I love it!

Another favorite moment was the rendition of Burning Down the House. It was unreal! I wonder if his leg ever stops moving, or if it keeps going all the time, even when he sleeps.

Updates!

Well, its been a busy couple of weeks. First up was a work conference in DC. I think having this big annual conference in DC this year lulled me into a false sense of security. I kept thinking I had all the time in the world and then BAM! conference time. That said, it was a VERY successful one - our largest, by almost 1000 attendees - ever. Nice, especially considering the economy. I also found out that I was an excellent drunk shuffleboard player.

We got some good/interesting press. Another first. The Post ran an article in the style section and we made the front page of the NY Times. Not too shabby! At least the profession that pays my bills is not dying. Hey, they may even be improving their image.

Post-conference I napped my way through a long weekend. Friday was my day off, thankfully. Max and I hung out and he has basically been THISCLOSE to me ever since I returned. I think he missed me. Even if he won't admit it!

I am in denial that the summer is rapidly coming to a close. Is it really August 11?!?! How in the world did that happen? Or as a precocious child once said, "Who did this?" Ella is wrapping up week 2 of Nature Camp and next week has Art Explorers Camp. Of course the hottest, nastiest week of the summer waited for the week she would be outside all day every day! She's toughing it out.

In just a few weeks the pool will close and she'll head back to school. AS A 2ND GRADER! Another WTH moment. How did this happen?

I am just looking forward to this weekend away with some girlies in WVA and then about a month or so down the road our VA Beach week. Then I have San Fran in January to look forward to (work trip). And finally, it looks like I'll be going back to St. John practically solo (at least kid free) in March. In season. Another first for me.

I have lost about 26 lbs. Since April. Slow going and I have another 26-56 to go but who's counting. I am pleased with my progress and really am doing nothing special other than eating better and less. Not by any means starving myself. That kind of "diet" would never work for me. I like food too much. Hung has lost about 24 or so pounds as well. More importantly he dropped his cholesterol reading by 60 (yes that is SiXty) points.

My mom moved.

I inherited a kitty (technically it was my cat to begin with, but my mom took her to raise about 8 years ago when we sold our 1st house, moved in with my mother-in-law, and waited for our current house to be completed).

Speaking of my MIL, she is doing well. As well as can be expected. She has another appointment for another CT Scan and biospy tomorrow. After that, they will decide when to do surgery and how to proceed.

Last but not least I am starting to make plans for a big trip to Vancouver. Our conference next year is in Vancouver and the plan is to fly the kiddos, hubby and gram out to join me at the end and take a week to explore. I am even looking for a 3 day Alaskan cruise. I want to go see Sarah. It's true!

When it Rains...

As if its not enough that this is my busiest time of the year at work, it seems it is also destined to be a bit nuts in my personal life as well. First there was the 7th annual crab fest. A great party that I love but that is a ton of work, though it is worth every bit, it makes me tired. For this sole reason alone I plan it a full two weeks before the BIG WORK conference of every early August. Oh, good times...

In other news, some genius, going by the name of Young Jay from Miami, Florida, decided to try to access my bank accounts and transfer $1000 internationally. He was not so much smart or successful but did manage to create havoc in my life as I am not positive if it was simply random or if one Young Jay (what is he a rapper) has actual personal information on me. I am inclined to think he had my checking account and routing number (anyone can get that from your check) but not much else.

Anyway, genius Young Jay called BofA and requested an international wire transfer. He had my account number. He, yes HE, claimed to be me. The BofA representative took his information, put him on hold and proceeded to immediately call the number they had on file for me. It was my work number. I was at lunch. They left a voicemail, went back on the line with Young Jay and indicated to him that they had called the primary account holder and confirmed that I am, in fact, as suspected, a woman! CLICK. He promptly hung up.

They promptly locked down all of my accounts and suspended my online banking login and password.

I happily return from a yummy lunch and realize I have an email from BofA saying someone was trying to change my login or email address. I try to log in to my account and realize I can't. I call BofA and they fill me in. So, their recommendation, which I gladly accepted was to go to the local banking center and establish new accounts and close all of my old accounts just in case. So, an hour later, 2 new checking accounts, 2 new debit cards, 2 new credit cards, and a new savings account and I am on my way. Pain in the ass, yes. Worth it, also yes. So what I have to change a few automated payments to the new accounts, but that's a small price to pay when I don't know what information this guy may have.

BofA also initiated a credit report for me, for free, so I can check to see if anyone is trying to establish any other type of credit in my name. In other words, to see if this was just a random idiot or someone truly trying to engage in a little identity theft. Oh the joys of adulthood!

So that was my Thursday. Fun, no?

In other news, a few weeks ago my mother-in-law had a car accident. In the course of swerving to miss a squirrel she ran off the road and hit a telephone pole, setting off her airbag. She cracked a few ribs and her sternum and had some pretty nasty bruising. My brother-in-law, a doctor, insisted they do a full CT scan to check for internal bleeding. They found none. However, they did find a spot on her lung. The doctor ordered a biopsy. Biopsy came back negative. My brother-in-law, being thorough, asked his buddy an oncologist to look at the scan. Oncologist says, I don't care what the biopsy says, it looks like the big C to me, and orders a Pet Scan. Apparently, especially with small tumors, false negatives from biopsies are common. Which I guess, kind of makes sense, its easy to miss a small tumor and get healthy tissue. Reassuring, no?

Pet scan came back today, Cancer. The problem is she is too weak from the accident and the cracked ribs to undergo immediate surgery. The spot/tumor is in her left lung, which is the one that feels fine right now. The right lung is where the cracked ribs are and she is unable to breathe well on that side. So they are waiting, about a month, for her to get stronger and then plan to operate and remove all of the tumor that they can.

The good news is that without that damn squirrel she would have never known she had a tumor until it was probably too late. The other good news is that though she is 70, she is feisty, she is in pretty good shape, and she is doing everything she can to get stronger. The other good news is that her mother lived to her mid-90s.

So it looks like mid-August she will undergo surgery and then we will know more about kind of cancer, aggressiveness, stage, etc. It is no secret that my MIL and I aren't especially close but she is a good woman who has worked hard all her life to accumulate what it is she has, which is substantial, and to raise 5 wonderful, productive sons. So please if you are the type to pray, add her to your list. If you prefer to send warm fuzzies or good vibrations, those are more than welcome as well. Thanks.

A Last Weekend at the Cottage

This weekend we will head to my mama's to help her pack up the last of her things and get ready to move out of the little bitty cottage she's called home for about 6 years. It is the cutest little place and we have so many great memories, but it is falling into a bit of disrepair and it is simply time for her to move on.

Not to worry, she is just moving up the hill (literally) to an apartment with 2 bedrooms and an even better view of the river!

I know it will be hard for her, as she (like me) doesn't love transition but once she is all resettled I know she will be very happy and put her own little touches on her new place.

So this weekend we will all say goodbye to the cutest little cottage and move on.

Dear Mama

Dear Mama,

I think it is appropriate that on this day, my birthday, I thank you. Afterall, without you, there would be no me.

Thank you for giving birth to me today. About this time you were probably still knocked out and dreaming that you'd had two baby girls (I was so big my mama thought she had twins).

Thank you for raising me right (or correctly for those who believe in good grammar).

Thank you for being the best mama a little bitty (or a big girl) could ever want.

Thank you for being the best Mother-in-Law ever.

Thank you for teaching me how to be the mom I am.

Thank you for being the best Gram in the world.

Thank you for being my best friend (even when you drive me crazy).

Thank you for always being there when I really need you.

Love your best (and only) daughter,

Lizzie

Max & his awesome grammma...Everything is better at Gramma's

Crab Fest 2009

Each year we throw a Crab Fest for some of our nearest and dearest. The crowd has grown from a smallish group of maybe 10-15 to this year's epic high of 31! I won't lie and say there weren't moments leading up to Crab Fest '09 where I thought why the heck do I do this to myself. I worry...can I fit 30 on my deck?, I need more chairs, I need more tables, what will I make?, will the French Silk turn out ok? (alright I don't really worry about that one), and on and on ....

Well, midway through the evening I remembered exactly why I do it. There is little in life that can beat a unseasonably cool, humidity free evening in July, on the deck, with a few cold ones, and a belly full of crabs with friends and family from every stage of my life. This year my uncle put in a surprise appearance, all the way from Indy and my long lost sister from Tennessee flew in just for the event. I suppose since I had a friend come to my wedding from Japan, it is only fitting! I hope it was worth it for both of them!

It was perfection! I hope everyone else had as nice a time as I did! The best gift, in addition to bringing these super cool priate flip-flops for me, was photographic evidence that the shin-dig existed provided by my friend, Vicki! Thanks, VIVI. Here you can enjoy some of her great photos!




Love the new Flip-Flops (got these plus about 8 other pair from Vicki!)





Thirsty, anyone?



Just because its crabfest doesn't mean there can't be meat!







Ready to go!



Happy Puppy...please give me some food!



Worker Bees, sorry I worked you guys so hard




I have absolutely no idea what was so funny, or why I am the only one who looks crazy here!


The proper implements, thanks to KK!