A 911 Free Zone

When i despair, I remember that all through history the ways of truth and love have always won. There have been tyrants, and murderers, and for a time they can seem invincible, but in the end they always fall. Think of it -- always. - Gandhi

This weekend we decided to decamp to gramma's. Between the insane weather (earthquake, hurricane, and monsoon rains and flooding the likes of which I have never seen in my 38 years of life and 12+ years in Northern Virginia) and the nonstop chatter about the 10th Anniverary of September 11th and the credible but uncomfirmed threat of something, I had HAD it.

Gramma's promised peace, quiet and a virtual media blackout. I know many people who really struggle with 9/11. The media coverage literally hurting them. I have come to realize, I lived it - I saw and smelled the smoke pouring out of the Pentagon. I had that frantic moment when I couldn't reach my husband or family. I don't need the media to help me relive it with images on the tv screen and audio from emergency calls.

I can not imagine how I would feel if I had lost a loved one in the tragedy. I didn't. I certainly think the media is doing what they do and for every one person who feels the coverage is too much, I am sure there are many who believe just as strongly that it will never be enough. I have to respect both sentiments and make the choices that are best for me. For me, this year, that was largely tuning it out.

I consider myself so lucky. The horror of that day was wedged between a Labor Day weekend with my husband in the Big Easy and the happy news that we were expected our first baby. While most everyone was preoccupied with the aftermath of the day, I was easily distracted by the impending changes coming to my life and family. This is not to say that I did not mourn for this country, deeply feel the impact of the attack, or grieve what our country had lost. I certainly did. It impacted me just as it has impacted anyone who lived through it, whether in New York City, Washington, DC, Pennslyvania or Oregon for that matter. You didn't have to be here, you didn't have to smell the smoke or hear the sirens first-hand to know that something had forever changed that day in our national consciousness.

I was happy for my distraction. I think it made the event less intense or less searing for me. I had the most certain sign that life would and does go on. No matter what.

It is amazing to me what the last decade has brought in my own life. Not one, but two, beautiful, happy, funny, quirky, brilliant (I am not bragging it is just a fact) children. A solidified career. Deep, abiding friendships. Travels and experiences that are imprinted forever on my soul.

So, forgive me, if this September instead of delving into what could have been, what was lost and what great suffering was exacted on this nation, instead I turn my focus to the beauty that is and always will be.