Conversations with Max

It has begun. The transition. I know others have been saying for a while he's not a baby anymore, but I have chosen this lovely status called denial. I knew, even before Max was born, that he was to be my last baby. I knew even more clearly after our ordeal with him that it was to be my last pregnancy. My doctor, my pediatrician, my family, my friends ... they all cut me off. I don't blame them. I cut myself off. I couldn't handle the emotional roller coaster of another pregnancy, no matter what the outcome. He is a miracle and I am not one to tempt fate. Still, it is so bittersweet and I see how couples, especially mothers, say, oh just one more.

He is finally speaking in more than a combination of single words and grunts with a few hand gestures thrown in for good measure!

On the recent transition from baby crib to BIG boy bed.


He looked at me in his old (now crib-less room) and said, "Where my crib go?"

I said, "It is all gone, you are a big boy now."

He said, "I not a big boy. I a LITTLE boy."

So I said, "Where'd my baby go?"

And he turned and looked around and over both shoulders before turning back to me and saying with a shrug of the shoulders, "I don't know."

I miss my baby a little bit, but I love this new little man that is emerging!