A Halloween First

We were invited to the neighborhood next to ours this evening to trick or treat and come to an open house. Ella catches the bus every morning at this neighborhood. As we live right on a main road, not very trick or treat conducive, we were grateful and happy to take a quick 3 minute walk down there to trick or treat and socialize. Ella was so excited to see her friends & we were happy to take her to a safe, familiar and close environment. A godsend as we had our 9 month old Monkey with us as well.

We set out at about 6:30 with Ella and baby Max. EVERYONE in the community was unbelievably nice with one exception. At one house, Ella was asked at the door if she lived in the neighborhood. She was honest and said "no I live on X Road but I catch the bus here with my friends, Emily and Beth." To which the woman said, "I only give out candy to kids who live in this neighborhood." Our daughter didn't understand her and looked to us, we were dumbfounded. We attempted to explain that she catches the bus at this neighborhood and was invited by friends there to come for Halloween. To which was repeated, more harshly, "I only give candy to children who live here!"

This is so not about the candy. Anyone who knows Ella knows she would have given her entire bucket of candy away to anyone who asked for it. As Ella and I walked away from the house, my tough little cookie was virtually in tears. She turned to me and said "Why was the lunch lady so mean to me?" The woman who had just turned Ella away works in the cafeteria at her school! I quickly tried to change her focus, so that she (unlike me) would not dwell. I absolutely understand this woman's right to distribute candy to whomever she desires, but it troubles me that someone who would intentionally be cruel to my child works at her school.

I tried to explain to Ella but honestly was at a complete loss for words. She went from a delightful, proud little girl having a great Halloween to deflated and really genuinely hurt. She repeated to me several times "Mom, I was not mean to her." and "Mom, I said Trick or treat." She very much felt it was her fault and that she had done something wrong. I felt horrible because I SURELY would not have let her go to that house had I known she would receive that reception. I could even understand if she were a much older child or making a 2nd pass through.

I know I am dwelling too much, but it does concern me that someone who works with children could be so cruel to them on an evening that is really geared toward them. I get not wanting to deal with the trick or treater thing, but selectively discriminating against a 5 year old just seems crazy. I am hopeful that she was having a bad day and children aren't routinely treated in this manner by her at school.

Sorry I just needed to vent! Ella is an inclusive, loving child and I had hoped, probably completely naively, hoped that a similar attitude is fostered by everyone who she comes into contact with, especially at her school.

I so so so wish I wasn't out of eggs. I am kidding. Maybe. Actually I have never wanted to punch a woman so badly, but I knew that would be inappropriate. At least in front of my children.

The rest of the evening was awesome. We ended at the home of our bus stop friends who were hosting an open house. They were mortified by the lunch lady's behavior. A slice of pumpkin and cream cheese cake and a cup of hot cider later we all felt much better. All in all, Ella had a great night and made a beautiful Cleopatra.